Intel Forgot About Its Products

We're talking about Intel's announcements for 2021, because Intel forgot about them and didn't share any information in its keynote. Covers Beast Canyon, Alder Lake (sort of), and more.



Intel's Alder Lake, notebook, and Beast Canyon announcements didn't even really get announcements. Instead, Intel bumbled around on stage for 40 minutes while trying to figure out what it could talk about. It decided to talk about how it's saving earth with what it calls "superpowers." Intel announced its i7-1195G7 and i5-1155G7, among other parts, but didn't really talk about them -- so we'll do it for Intel.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Intel's People Are Robots
06:07 - Beast Canyon
07:37 - New Laptop CPUs (& More Bizarre Quotes)
10:13 - Misleading Comparisons vs. AMD
12:51 - Alder Lake
14:10 - Chip Shortage
15:38 - Recap & Conclusion

Music: "Las Vegas" by Arthur Basov (paid license)

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Host, Written: Steve Burke
Video: Keegan Gallick, Andrew Coleman

[bardofhighrenown]

Alternate title for Intel's keynote: "I forced a bot to watch OVER 1000 HOURS of corporate training videos and here's the result'

[tmilliss]

Good to see the guy who coded oblivion's NPCs got a job directing the intel presentation

[KTHR]

"You can literally see it." -Intel, 2021, on leading the blind.

[GrantyoRT]

Looks like the real highlight of this keynote was the full-scale AI-powered autonomous replicas that Intel made of its executive team.

[bigpapanacho]

Plot twist the entire key note was generated using “deep fake” technology using their chips

[BoltHardcheese]

That Intel presentation just gave me bad flashbacks of every corporate strategy meeting I have had to endure and try to stay awake through. High level people in marketing love generalized statements that don't actually promise anything specific. That way, they never have to walk anything back. If the goalpost is vague, you can always find a way to say you were successful.

[tyler]

I was having trouble following the presentation until I realized that the hand gestures were actually cleverly designed signs signaling for help.

[StefanoAgrotis]

"Back to you Steve"

Absolutely brutal. They should have let you assist the keynote.

[noodled]

AMD: Lisa Su herself comes out and announces how awesome their stuff is with actual points.
Intel: Couldn't figure out how to announce, so got badly written deepfake AI to do it.

[mariastevens]

7:36 "back to you Steve" just lost my shit

[titaniummechanism]

"congratulating itself in a circular fashion"

What a creative way to phrase that!

[jamogable]

Intel CEO: how does our product improve people's lives?

Intel Marketing: Yes!

[auxityne]

Ah, this is the introduction of Intel's latest architecture, Buzzword Lake.

[LockGamer_]

The content was always good, but these intros and the most fun editing and scripting made Gamers Nexus an entertainment channel beyond great information. Every video is a work of art!

[userjames]

"You can literally see it!"
Those guys are literally hallucinating.

[tns]

"If we don't know what we're doing, our competitors can never predict our actions" - Intel

[ReclusiveEagle]

Can we also talk about how the multi-billion dollar company didn't build a set and went with a budget
greenscreen with 1st time video editors for their presentation?

[big.atom]

"Intel, what are you talking about?"
"Have you heard of the high elves?"

[georgelopez]

AMD: "3D sRAM chiplet stacking, competitive mobile GPUs, certification program for high end laptops"
Intel: "We're the best. You can clearly see how great we are. Our chips are highly available... Please buy."

[TimMug]

“Congradulating itself in a circular fashion…”
I liked that one, that was good