'The Watcher' of New Jersey | Hoax or Stalker Abundance of Spare Time?

This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of “The Watcher” of Westfield, New Jersey?

Dr. Grande’s book Harm Reduction:

References:

[jennifermateos]

If it wasn't for their children being mentioned in the letters, then I would've said they overreacted. You can't risk your child's safety

[Tymbus]

I notice you mention that the family paid more than the asking price for the house. So it seems to me there was a bidding war which the family won. That might mean that there was a extremely bitter loser who maybe lived in the area, really wanted the house but failed to buy it. Bitterness would be a motive. Also "The watcher" sent letters to the sellers shortly before they left, but maybe after the sale went through

[CJG-bkbk]

There’s another story of a deranged woman (Kathy Rowe) with a disabled daughter who got out bid on a house she wanted badly because it was perfect for her daughter. She tormented and stalked the couple that got the house but was easily traced back to her. You should do an analysis of. That would be interesting.

[CapitalCCapitalC]

Derek said "I'm going to write a bunch of fake letters to prove that I'm not writing a bunch of fake letters" 😆

[lindalemoni]

In my first apartment, I had a stalker. He would come to the door and bang the door like he wanted to get in, yelling. This continued for months, my then boyfriend and his brothers even had a hide out to see who it was. Didn’t see him. Eventually people started thinking I lied about it. I started losing friends and my boyfriend broke up with me, thinking I’m turning crazy. Eventually the stalker banged the door again and I was so upset I just opened the door and yelled what he wanted from me. He looked at me basically saying (in our language): “who the f*ck are you??? Where is Andrea???” Turns out it was an abusive guy thinking his ex lived there. That’s more than 10 years ago, I moved cities and to this day people think I made the stalker up…. People behave in ways that still shock me sometimes (I’m a clinical psychologist now)

[caseyw.]

Standing your ground is a lot easier said than done when you have 3 small children at risk. I can understand why they wouldn't want to live there. It would be very unsettling to feel like some stranger is watching you in your own home. It's obviously more disturbing to receive a letter to your home address (rather than a message online) because the sender of the letter unquestionably knows where you live. That's definitely unnerving...assuming it wasn't a hoax. Lol! Who knows?

[kenn]

Sounds like someone else wanted the house and started a hate campaign against the family, resulting in the very low sale. I would look at the new buyers!!! There has been an case of major harassment before, when a woman did not get the house she wanted, so she offered the new buyers more money to buy it from them. They refused, and ended up with a whole lot of abuse from her, simply because she wanted THAT house.

[busterthe]

Watchers are real jerks. Lol. I love how the neighbor just threw their watcher letter away and lived happily ever after

[Jared_Wignall]

I remember hearing about this some time ago. It’s very interesting and creepy, regardless if it’s a hoax or not. Very good analysis Dr. Grande. Keep up the great work!

[claudiahemmings]

The only person with a sensical motive is the local real estate agent who gets a fat payout every time they sell the million dollar house. They would also know a lot about the owners and the house. I don't think there is any sensical motive here though. This is the work of someone with a psychological motive that's just in their head - maybe spiteful jealousy (of rich, perfect-looking families).

[hsk]

Sometimes, someone, can be real sick in the head without anyone knowing.
Let me give you an example;- Journalist comes home from a decade long freelance in Afghnistan, she's a woman whom has been living in what might easily be considered the most dangerous country for a woman to live in, foreigner, white at that. She buys a house in the country side, picks up gardening and decides she is going to write books about her experiences as a freelance journalist. She has appx one year of bliss in her new home and one morning, the mail man finds her dead in her garden. Shot dead. Long story short, the shooter was a 78 yr old man, a neighbor from a distance who had been watching her with binoculars when working in her garden.
He got OBSESSED with her, until one day he had heard that she had been offered another job for a year back in Afghanistan and he didn't want her to leave, so he shot her.
Just saying, there are lunatic oddballs in this world whom never reveal themselves up front. A "motive" can be as "simple" as acquiring an Obsession.

[jedsall]

Throwing shade on New Jersey is one thing, big laughs honestly. However, suggesting that the Scooby-Doo cinematic universe takes place in NJ and not give us more to go on is unforgivable my good Sir!

[santiagovera]

"Stand your ground, even if your ground is New Jersey" LOL

[annal]

Dr. G, are you _sure_ you don’t want to be part of the ad campaign for Experience New Jersey?!

[charlieevergreen]

Seems reasonable to reconsider the schizophrenic neighbor. He wandered into other peoples’ property, and had the family residence history that lined up with the letters. And obviously, schizophrenia can motivate people to have all sorts of odd and unsettling behavior, especially like stalking and paranoia. Just seems too clear that he should be examined in detail, and the women around him asked for DNA, to see if they (even unwittingly) left their DNA on the letter(s).

[CBrown]

I think someone that lived in the neighborhood wanted the house and was attempting to drive them out and simultaneously bring down the asking price. If I was single and someone did this to me I would say bring it, but when you have kids you have them to think about and risking something actually happening wouldn’t be worth it.

[sarahwatterson]

Another theory I had, although a little farfetched, was that “The Watcher” was a co-worker of Derek’s that was friendly with him at work but secretly envied him because Derek had gotten the position he was vying for. This co-worker would know details of Derek’s life without even having to actually watch the house. The house sale wasn’t made public when the previous owners received their letter but Derek’s buddy at work would know he’d bought the house. He’d know the kids nicknames and their birth order, he’d know the work being done and perhaps he had his wife lick the envelope. His motive for doing this could have been jealousy of obtaining the position he wanted, jealousy over buying a house that he himself couldn’t afford or a combination of both. Maybe he thought these letters would spook Derek enough, making him distracted and throw him off his game at work and then the co-worker could swoop in and show how reliable & focused he was. Maybe it was just sour grapes and he wanted to make his life less idyllic.
Yeah, definitely a little more outlandish of a theory but thought it was worth sharing.

[anastasiabeaverhausen]

I assume it was looked into that whoever also may have wanted the house when the couple ended up overpaying for it was not just a pissed off buyer getting their jollies by making the new owners move, which is what happened.

[Hotlux_]

funny that my cat loves listening to Dr. Grande. But weird because Grande never moves.

[sttv]

I feel like the watcher lost the plot when he threatened them with “a chronic illness.” I would be pretty alarmed if someone said they were going to kill a family member or strangle the dog. A threat to give me narcissistic personally disorder or anemia just doesn’t have the same effect.