My name is Yoshikage Kira.

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

#jojosbizarreadventure

[lyonvensa]

Imagine if Joseph predicted Kira's entire monologue

[KC_Garcia]

Plot twist, the entire monologue is his full name

[SubSilence]

Job Interviewer: "Tell me about yourself."

Kira:

[fluxasyt]

Kira is probably the healthiest person in Jojo.

[HiddenVariable]

This man made a whole monologue just to let a middle school child know that he was going to separate his soul from his body.

[kubatczew]

most villans: tell their name.
Kira: THE WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE ABOUT HIMSELF.

[mossy]

33 according to classical and christian mythology is the perfect age. The perfect age, the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect stand, the perfect life. The only thing wrong about this perfect gentleman is that he is completely insane.

[echoesact]

Kira:im not married
Also kira: *marries hands*

[The_Wrath_of_Conn]

To me this is such a power play by Kira. He was comfortable telling everything about himself to the upmost detail because he knew this middle schooler wasn’t getting out of that alley alive

[mr.krinkle]

honestly kira's the perfect example of psychopaths being literally indistinguishable from the rest of society. His monologue shows that his life is 100% normal, but his actions and behavior show that he isn't.

[NickOnYoutube]

They somehow managed to make a characters life story super menacing.

[khairulazunaidie]

Other villain: * talk about world domination plan, we live in society, ideological crap and tragic backstory *

Kira: *sleeping tips*

[froggie]

Kira: No one can know who I am.

Also Kira: I am Yoshikage Kira. I am 33 years old. I live near where the villas are

[kotarofuuma]

"I know everything about him, literally everything"
"Really? You must have known him for years"
"No, I just met him 2 minutes ago"

[clashdevil]

Lyrics

Watashi no na wa Kira Yoshikage. Renrei sanjyuu sansai. Jitaku wa Morioh-cho hokuto no bu no bessojidai ni ari, kekkon wa shiite-inai, *cue Shigechi confusion 100* Shigoto wa Kame-yu chen-ten no kai sha-in de, maiinichi osokuto mo yoru hachii-ji made ni wa kitakusuru * cue shigechi whimpering in fear and confusion more* Tabaco-o wa sumanai, sake wa tashinamu-tedo, yoru juu-ichi ji ni wa toko nitsukii, kanarazu hajii-jikan wa suii-min o toru yo-o ni shiiteiru. *Shigechi whimpering more* Neru mae ni at-ta-kae miruuku o nomi ni-juu pun hodo no suutorechi de karada o homu-shite kara toko nitsuku-to hodon do asa made jukusui-sa *Shigechi screaming internally becomes external* Akanbo no yo ni hiro ya suutoresu o noku sazu nii asa me o samaserunda. Kenko-o shintan de mo ijyo nashito iwaretaiyo.

Watashi wa tsune nii kokoro o heion o ne-gate ik-terun ningen toyukoto o setsumei-shite-iru no dai-yo. Kachi make ni koda wa-tari, atama o kakaeruyoo na torabuuruu to ka, yoru mo nemurenai to ita teki o tsukuranai. Toyuu no ga watashii no shakai ni taisuru shise de ari, sorega jibun no kofuku da to toyuukoto o shiteiru. Mo-tomo tatakatte da toshitemo, watashi wa dare ni mo makenn ga ne...

[ego]

Watashi no na wa Kira Yoshikage. Renrei sanjyuu sansai. Jitaku wa Morioh-cho hokuto no bu no bessojidai ni ari, kekkon wa shiite-inai, Shigoto wa Kame-yu chen-ten no kai sha-in de, maiinichi osokuto mo yoru hachii-ji made ni wa kitakusuru Tabaco-o wa sumanai, sake wa tashinamu-tedo, yoru juu-ichi ji ni wa toko nitsukii, kanarazu hajii-jikan wa suii-min o toru yo-o ni shiiteiru. Neru mae ni at-ta-kae miruuku o nomi ni-juu pun hodo no suutorechi de karada o homu-shite kara toko nitsuku-to hodon do asa made jukusui-sa Akanbo no yo ni hiro ya suutoresu o noku sazu nii asa me o samaserunda. Kenko-o shintan de mo ijyo nashito iwaretaiyo.

Watashi wa tsune nii kokoro o heion o ne-gate ik-terun ningen toyukoto o setsumei-shite-iru no dai-yo. Kachi make ni koda wa-tari, atama o kakaeruyoo na torabuuruu to ka, yoru mo nemurenai to ita teki o tsukuranai. Toyuu no ga watashii no shakai ni taisuru shise de ari, sorega jibun no kofuku da to toyuukoto o shiteiru. Mo-tomo tatakatte da toshitemo, watashi wa dare ni mo makenn ga ne...

[SmumplytheFP]

I like how even with how normal Kira illustrates his mundane life, it still manages to feel uncomfortable and intimidating.

[jujokotaro]

Kira is trying to tell us he had always done his homework since childhood, him saying a full essay about him without saying umm/yea and soso says it all

[Holynoelle]

I translated it 100 times and put it back to English, here's the result:

My name is Kira Gika Gage. I'm 33 years old and my family lives northeast of Shingye, not all villages live with me. I work as a secretary and come home every morning. I don't smoke and sometimes I smoke. I went to bed at 11 and eight o'clock. Drink a glass of warm milk before bed. After 20 minutes, I usually don't go to bed until morning. When I was young, I woke up in the morning with no worries. I was told there were no problems with the final assessment. I try to explain that I am a person who seeks peace. I want to cry so I don't have problems with enemies, like winning and losing, this prevents me from sleeping well. That's how I care about people and I know what makes me so happy. What happened, as long as I hit, I wouldn't lose anyone.

[troopers]

kira was smart and rich enough to start his own business, but he still chose to be an employee because its less stressful