Describing trends- IELTS writing task

Improved version:

The bar chart compares the unemployment rates among young people in four European countries, in 2018 and 2019. According to the data, the unemployment rate for young people declined slightly from 2018 to 2019, except in Spain.

Spain was the only country which showed an increased percentage of unemployed young people. Spain’s unemployment rate was the lowest of the four countries in 2018. In 2018, 5% of the youth in Spain were out of work. This percentage rose to 7% in 2019, making the country tie with England for the highest percentage of unemployed young people in the four countries. England had the greatest percentage of unemployed young people in 2018, with 9%. However, by 2019, this rate had decreased by 2%.

The unemployment rate decreased in Norway and Sweden over the two years.
In 2018, 8% of the young people in Norway were unemployed. In that year, Sweden, had a rate of 6%. By 2019, the unemployment rate had fallen by 3% in both Norway and Sweden to 5% and 3%, respectively.

Overall, we can see a clear downward trend in the number of unemployed young people in three out of four of these European countries from 2018 to 2019 with the exception of Spain, where the unemployment rate rose.