6 Ways To Stop Generational Trauma - Healthy Parenting

Through the lens of childhood trauma...

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
15:55 1. Apologize & explain your reactions.
17:20 2. Don’t let THEM take CARE of YOU.
20:48 3. Encourage their perception & inner reality compass.
24:38 4. Work on your own life & your own happiness.
27:00 5. Redefine your value system.
29:00 6. Be AWARE & CONSCIOUS about what you are modeling
31:00 Honorable Mention: Providing a ‘Good Enough’ Childhood.
31:32 Outro

Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings

In this video we cover: generational trauma, enmeshment, boundaries, recovery, therapy session, consistency, roleplay, tools, hacks, triggers, childhood trauma, inner child, inner child work, c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, assertion, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, codependency, healthy parenting, parenting, healthy apology, kids, psychology.

⚠️ Disclaimer

My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.

If you are, or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255

[katierose]

I was making dinner tonight very moody and resentful. My plan was to make dinner and then lie in bed the rest of the evening feeling sorry for myself. I listened to this while cooking and then somehow realized I am the problem and was triggered into my bad mood. I made a great meal, spent the evening with my husband and child, and even got a workout in! I want to be a happy mom!! We sang if you’re happy and you know it and cuddled. Phew!!!

[aylagriffin]

Because of my childhood trauma, I was afraid to ask anything of adults or even really to tell them what was going on with me. A few years ago, when my daughter was 5 or 6, we were spending time with some of our friends. One of them is this friend I adore who is a loud guy who would have scared the pants off of me as a kid. He liked to tease my daughter by calling her the wrong name. He pulled me and my husband aside to tell us how amazed and proud he was that our daughter took him to one side and explained to him what her real name is, and that she doesn't appreciate being called the wrong name. I'm SO glad that she felt strong enough to do that, and that despite him being a loud adult, he listened to her, apologized for calling her the wrong name and stopped doing it. 10 minutes later she changed her mind and told him she was fine with the joke. But she really just wanted him to know her boundaries and have them respected. She makes me proud every day that she's a lot more grounded and assertive than I was even in my 20s.

[Starpotion]

Describing children as "little narcissistic drunk people" was great, thanks for that

[foremanmvyers]

you're doing god's work here man

[Dan_Chiron]

I decided I didn't want kids when I was 17. Let's take into account that, at that age, I believed I had the best, happy, childhood, just felt mentally unstable. Later on, I realized how my family system really was; I knew my parents tried not to repeat their own family dynamics but that's pretty much what they did. I was terrified I'd pass it on unconsciously, so I confirmed I wouldn't be able to handle parenthood. I'm almost 40 and never regretted my decision, but it breaks my heart some of us had to take it.

[RyukoPresents]

I would absolutely LOVE to see a video on toxic grandparents and advice on how to handle that dynamic.

[SweetiePieTweety]

“Yes, parenting is a huge pain in the ass”. Thank you Patrick 😆

[Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

I recently realized that being rushed and in chaos is a HUGE trigger for me. I get really irritable. I have a 4 and a 9 year old. I was raised in a toxic family with an immigrant Cluster B invalidating and emotionally volatile mom who parented with fear and shame and a non-protective codependent dad. Not having enough quiet me time is a huge trigger. I just moved out of my mom’s place— I came back home my after my divorce. I can’t let her do this to my girls. I can’t parent effectively when I’m triggered and being mom shamed in front of my children by my own mother. This is just IS NO LONGER AN OPTION. I won’t let her parentify my kids and I won’t be a mess and have them feeling like they have it care for me, like my mother did me. Carl Jung is a genius.

[Ugh-ji]

It's the toddler screaming tantrums for me. I get an instant migraine and I'm right in that moment when I was s kid always getting yelled at. Parenting through trauma is tough.

[TheDutchessOfCornville]

Having my first child was the catalyst for change in my mental health. I should’ve been getting help years before, but recognizing that I was reacting to normal newborn/baby behaviors in a way that I recognized from my own childhood scared the hell out of me.

I’m far from perfect, but I’m SO proud of myself for getting help and working my a** off to break the cycle. <3 I pray that my girls grow up and remember their childhood with joy and laughter. I’m doing my best to ensure that they do.

[renatahaberland]

I am from Brazil. In our christian/catholic culture recognizing anything bad from our parents is a big no no. Thanks for your videos, they are helpful and healing.

[Sarablueunicorn]

I just find it amazing that people want to be praised for the single fact, and their decision, of being parents.
"I've sacrificed so many dreams for my kids", this actually makes me wanna throw up and then the super mommas tend to attack with "are you a parent?". Honestly, I feel like I'm being a better mother by deciding not to put kids in this world if i dont feel emotionally and financially capable of fully support them, nor resent them for "giving up of my dreams".

[sherriflemming]

Traumatization is a response to abnormal and abusive circumstances. Traumatized parents traumatize their children.
In adulthood we need to unlearn all the unhealthy behaviors we learned in childhood.

[TheNesbittExperience]

I never had kids due to childhood trauma. I knew that I never saw a healthy relationship, and that I would be lost as a parent. As an ACOA, I knew that I didn’t have the tools. Still healing at 42. Thanks for your amazing videos! ☮️

[annettearmstrong-williams]

Your videos mean so much to me. I was diagnosed Cptsd and a dissociative disorder. My mother was my main abuser, and allowed others to abuse me as well. There are many memories I still don’t have access to…Becoming a mother was very triggering by itself. Having my own child, and feeling the love I had for her, was triggering in that I could not comprehend how or why my mother was capable of doing some of the heinous things she did. When my children hit certain ages/reach certain milestones, I’ve been triggered just from the age (i.e. daughter turns 14, which is the same age I was raped by mother’s boyfriend, ended up pregnant, had it beaten out of me). I hope I haven’t crossed a line in sharing - Again, thank you for your videos, I listen to them daily. ❤️

[susanmeyers]

I love this! Thank you. My first child was very strong willed. I remember a time when he was throwing fits and many people told me to spank him with a wooden spoon and I strongly disagreed but I was a single teen mom. I once lost it and said that’s it I’m doing it. I grabbed a wooden fork and my 4 year old looked at me and said, ”What are you going to fork me” we both laughed and just talked it out. He was very smart for a four year old and we just talked through difficult tantrums or I just sat with him through it. That always worked for us. Getting that poor advice from my parents and daycare lady was very sad to me. I couldn’t believe that’s the only advice I got from them was to hit my child.

[fishliver]

Every few months, in quiet, peaceful moments, I ask my son, age 5, how I'm doing as a mom. Then I listen to his answers which, when critical, are a list of the things that deeply trigger me. Conversely, when he praises me, those are often the actions and behaviors that address the triggers for myself and bring a sense of healing and comfort both to my child and myself. He knows that he gets to share whatever he wants and will never be criticized or punished. And I get the chance to know what he needs and work on giving that to him, and often, to myself.

[tillatidtryte]

I remember when growing up, my parents did a lot of the «but what did you do?»-stuff when I had problems with a friend or a teacher. And the first twenty-five years of my life I found that to be a very good thing to say, I even praised them for have done that, since I meant it taught me about owning my own stuff and be more empathetic and so on. But then I suddenly realised it also taught me that my feelings never matter. And even now (at fifty) I get triggered by that when it happens. My feelings are always ‘wrong’, and I get super-mad. I didn’t have kids myself before I was thirty, so I made an effort not to do this to them. (And actually, most of the time my kids were right: their friend really was being unhealthy, or their teacher in fact did a mistake, so I tried to make it a learning moment about how to handle other people doing mistakes or even when to leave a bad friendship.) But it is so funny I grew up thinking this was a smart and healthy thing to do.

[mariahchantel]

I'm going to have my first child next week. Been watching your videos to help me be the best parent I can ❤

[Smash_The_Pumpkins]

I would always see my mom unhappy and depressed and angry at home but she would only be happy around her friends. It always made me feel like she didn't like me