How to Deal with Homesickness at University

This is something I've actually had a surprising number of people ask me about -- and it's something we do not talk about enough. Moving out for the first time and going to university IS TOUGH and it's okay to feel homesick. I hope these reflections and pieces of advice are helpful if you are feeling homesick yourself x

Thank you again to Unite Students for sponsoring today's video, and supporting discussion of something so central for so many new students.
Unite Students actually always seems to be supporting and leading new, important projects... if you'd like to read about them, you can check out their blog The Common Room where they also share other students' experiences and try to provide helpful advice :)

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[caramelambi]

I'm watching this as i cry nonstop and i feel extremely stressed out from college. I feel hopeless :( ugh I'm 19 already and all i want now is mom's hugs

[yumi]

i started uni and im crying daily... i miss my parents and the comfort of my room

[RezhwAmanj]

In under 24 hours I will be moving across the planet for college, and I have to admit homesickness is one of the things on the forefront of my mind. Ruby, you’re an inspiration. Thank you for this video.

[DaJbieberSwag]

I went home 4 days after starting my first week at uni 😂 it was so lonely at first, I remember counting down days like “oh 2 more days” etc. I would get nightmares and have this feeling of completely loneliness in the middle of the night which would wake me up, it was quite bad. Now im just trying to finish my degree so I can move back home. Everyone’s uni experience is different, some you make best friends of a lifetime and for others its just a matter of studying and completing your degree. Mine turned out to be just that. Uni is fun and you can have independence but nothing beats being home with family.

[shalryma]

University survivor here. What I'd add to the list of things that might help you with home sickness - find things that you enjoy that you can only do away from home. It can be anything, for example in my case, I came from the family with strict curfew and where they didn't approve of wearing makeup. So I quickly grew to really enjoy being able to go to bed whenever I saw fit and putting on makeup when I felt like it. I was happy to come back home and enjoying family life - but I also gradually found myself excited for going to uni and enjoying those things I was not able to do at home :)

[SmileyEssie]

*as an incoming first year student in college this video was exactly what i needed thank you ruby* ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[tashaliddiard]

Throughout my entire uni experience, I always missed home. The urge to go home decreased but as I got into my final years I adapted my lifestyle at uni to be able to go home every 2/3 weeks. I used to feel guilty for going home like I was failing the ‘uni experience’ but over the time I just learnt to combine the two.

Also totally relate to the boost you get from being home ❤️

[strawberrymelk]

i've literally only been in college for four days and I want to go home so bad... classes haven't started so I haven't made friends that way yet, and all the people in my dorm either stay in their rooms or already have friend groups (the rooms are singles so no roommate either). i just feel really alone. ugh.

Edit: hi friends. This was two years ago now. I will say that every now and then, you’ll probably still miss your parents. But you’re going to be so used to college that this feeling doesn’t hurt you. You’re going to be so used to college that you can’t even imagine living at home again. Trust me when I say the time flies by, and the loneliness will be foreign before you know it. You’ll develop your own routine, find new friends, and yes, learn to do things alone (and learn to love it, too). Give yourself a month or two - by October I can say that I felt way better.

Trust the process! This is all normal. Feel all the homesick feelings but remember that they’re temporary. You got this! You’re doing great!

[nahtalle]

This is my 3rd time coming back to Uni and I’ve never cried this hard before. I never get homesick until today...

[xStarzx]

I went to boarding school since age 11 so the transition to uni was not much of a leap. But I still got homesick at times, especially if I was ill or stressed with workload. The best thing to do is keep busy and social. Call a friend in the same position at a different uni. Go home if you need to but always have something to look forward to coming back to uni for e.g, an event, particular food or items you only have at Uni, and make your uni room your sanctuary, similar to your room at home but better! 💜

[anjana_padma]

It gets worse when you visit them during the break and come back to attend classes again 👀

[ryuuyokaze]

It's my first day away from home because of university, and I'm a homebuddy but I really didn't expect to be the type of person who will get homesick, I really want to go home right now. But I will take your advice to settle down first before going home. and I feel relief after watching you because I'm not the only one who feel like this. thanks

[eemaj]

when you posted this i didn’t think i’d need it... but now that i’m in my fourth week of my first year of college turns out i did <3

[TheElysianer]

I'm moving overseas for 2 years and the prospect of leaving my parents has been scary but also full of grief. I'm 25 and pretty much a home pigeon so I can't even imagine doing this at 18 like you did! Thanks for the tips <3

[gabbyorslene]

I just graduated from my undergrad in May and am starting my masters degree this week! My freshman year I was distraught for weeks because of homesickness. My best piece of advice is that you shouldn’t be afraid of being homesick! I’m still homesick at times at 22! Firstly, it means that I came from a great family and home: so how lucky am I! But also, while homesickness doesn’t go away completely, you get WAY better at dealing with it as you go along in your years at school. Now, as a masters student, 4 years after freshman year, I feel homesick but I know how to deal with it now. It will get better!

Also, Ruby, all of this Is wonderful advice! Wish I had this when I was a freshman!

[kathiweyer]

I found that the journaling really helped me during the first weeks of uni, even though I've never managed to keep a daily journal during school. I stopped doing it after the first semester but in the beginning It kept me calm and I was able to reflect on all the new things I'd experienced. Great tips, Ruby, I can only confirm:)

[Leni]

A lot of my friends come home almost every weekend! It’s completely fine and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be around your family more ❤️

[samanthaellam]

loved this video Ruby - I had real issues with homesickness in my first year at uni. I found that while I really enjoyed the independence, I really missed my mum. I would recommend keeping yourself as busy as you can and planning time to speak to/see your family/friends as something to look forward to xx

[kenzaj]

I'm about to start my 5th year at university in France, my family is in Sweden and I usually don't even realise that I'm homesick until I about to fly back home or have to leave. I get so exited that just thinking about my home puts a smile on my face, and then I get so depressed before leaving that I start crying 2 days before leaving. However most of my friends told me they don't know how I manage to only get back home twice a year (I do see my family more often than that but it's not the same), they go back home every couple of weeks. That being said, I do love the independence, inviting friends over/going to friend's places. As I said, it's only when I'm about to go home that I realise how much I've missed it, otherwise life goes smoothly and I'm very happy! Sometimes I even think that going home is what makes me homesick because leaving is always so heartbreaking. At least I try coming back for more than a week when I can, this way I don't feel so sad when it's over.

[hollyturner]

I really struggled with homesickness when I first started university. I was about 3 hours away from home by train, so I wasn't able to pop home for a weekend very often and I left my first trip home until reading week. I found that length of time worked quite well because it forced me to find other solutions than going home. I called home every day and I also found this helpful because it meant I didn't feel completely cut off. For anyone who is worried about feeling homesick, I would recommend making your room at uni feel as homelike as possible and try to cook some of the things you would normally have at home. This will help things feel more normal. Try to find some people with similar interests to you and do things with them. This will distract you and help you to settle in.