Living In China Made Me A Control Freak (Animation)

Oh hey is it 2020 already how bout that.

The story of my move to China from a different angle, talking about how I became a stressed out, neurotic kid, and how I'm doing a lot better.

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Social Media

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Thanks to MarvelandPonder and @HeyZKay for editing the script.

Thanks to RuneBell for some storyboarding help.

Endcard Animation by Baggiboi

Endcard Music by Shirokishi

[RuneBell]

Hey glad I could help out with this video!! Awesome vid Reed!!

[lagomortis]

"A lot happier, probably."

I nearly cried at this line, amazing video. When my anxiety meds started kicking in, I had a crisis because I didn't know who I was if I wasn't constantly analyzing every situation. I wasn't happy, but I felt prepared. The meds made my head a lot calmer, but my entire life panic was the norm. Eventually though, I realized I could still analyze. I could still do the stuff that made me feel smart, I just wasn't doing it 24/7. My anxiety was never the cause of my positive traits, it just made me cling desperately to them. I've been more productive with research and art than ever, and it's because I wasn't overwhelmed constantly. I don't know if my story will help you, but your story definitely helped me. Thank you.

[ChrisD__]

When you said there isn't a "right" way to have a conversation I had a bit of a surprised Pikachu face moment. I really needed to hear that.

[TheReaperHunter]

I know calling youtubers relatable is a bit over done and cliché, but you're genuinely the most REAL person in this community.

[wattsisnaim]

Normally, after such a long hiatus, I would say, "SHE'S ALIVE!" But, I follow you on Twitter, so I knew you were alive. Still, welcome back to the land of the posting!
I know you've been through a lot. Just remember you, don't have to go through it alone. You've got not just followers, but friends. We're here for you.

[HYPRFiiX]

Wow, this honestly hit home for me. I thought I was the only one who would “split” my emotion and actions as two different people conversing with one another and battling it all in my head. I have to be perfect but how can I be perfect if there’s so many things I deal with and don’t know? The fact that you made this video state “there is no right answer but there’s a better solution” is...truly eye opening. I’m sure this was a weight off your shoulders if it had touched other people, including me. Honestly, I needed to hear this. I wish the best for you and your health! Glad to see you’re back and are getting better :)

[Chimmiestchanga]

Everyone else : 2020 changed everything
Reed: you merely adopted change, i was born in it. Molded by it

[oreocrumbs]

Trust me, soon you will be incredibly known and loved! I absolutely love your voice-over, artstyle, and especially the way you narrate! I know I am just one viewer...but just know that, at least, one viewer absolutely loves you, even with your mistakes.

[yo-harku]

I can really relate to this, the life situations, family issues, stress, thinking too much, all of it. My parents also split and things got better for a short period of time, but it also was equally worse than because of our step dad, the lack of communication our parents had with us and also them being extra all the time, making a big deal out of simple things. "Nothing I do is ever right "and" I think of ways I can stop" really hit me because it's what I been telling myself too. I'm also trying to leave it all behind and let it go but I know its going to take some time.

[BizzyBoi]

I did not expect this notification to pop up anytime soon, but I’m glad it did.

Welcome back!

[itsleehere]

I loved this, you're really talented and I love you as a writer. Honestly it felt like I was hearing a conversation with myself, and a conversation I wish the people around me had with themselves. I'm sorry those bad things happened, hope you the best <3

[Junept]

I thought this video would be more about living in China then it’s effects. But I’m glad it wasn’t. Hearing Reed talk to herself is amazing

[FrolfThe]

Ahhh... just like old times. A new reed video

[bluehoof]

And I think I'm brave and expressive for posting a crying self portrait.

Good job, nice video!

[einkleinerfalke]

The end di-/monologue was so impressive. Knowing this conversation as well, it is somewhat easing to know that you are not alone with this split in the deepest part of your soul (even if for me the logical part almost always can't let go). The illustration, the pacing of the conversation ... Really touching

[ZombieGrandpa]

Damn, my mom did the same thing to our dogs... I went to visit an aunt and when I came back- no dogs. Not a great way to start major changes. And fuzzy memories, well that's a response to stress, as well as time seeming to fly by. The mind "compresses" time and makes the bad things seem "fuzzy." That way your pain seems smaller and it did not last too long. My entire childhood, up until 16, was like that. Abusive family. Childhood flew by.

True superpower: Not worrying about what others think of you.

[nenjuice]

the ending feels so real and relatable that I can touch it, this video was really what I needed at the moment.

[goobitz]

This is a very accurate depiction of anxiety, but yet at the same time it actually make me feel a lot better. The whole “let go” part made me feel a lot better about the stress I’ve been feeling. Thank you

[fathergraves]

I loved it! I am personally going through the same thing at the moment so I know how it feels. I am certain that things will get better as time goes along. Great video by the way, keep it up!

[thesilverwlf]

I feel like we all needed to see this video and have that moment of self-reflection, thanks for that. Hope you're well.