How to SHOW instead of TELL in your novel (with examples)

Ah, showing vs. telling. As authors, we have all heard this one. It's great advice, but sometimes, it can seem a little hard to figure out. It's often not always clear what exactly constitutes as 'telling', and sometimes it can be difficult to 'show' without bogging down your chapters with too much description. Is it possible to...strike a balance? Abbie and I are here to answer that question in this episode, and we'll be sharing some great examples to help aid you in your writing journey. So grab a cup of coffee, or tea, and let's get into it!

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[KAEmmons]

Can you think of a good example of showing vs. telling?? Comment and post yours!!

[aix]

Introverts aren't the people listening quietly from the corner of the room, they're the people at home, spending the evening with their cat.

[bookimpressions]

I think the reason show vs. tell is so hard is because as writers we are storyTELLERS. When in fact we should be storySHOWERS. That's what makes this so difficult. Writers have a tendency of just wanting to TELL their stories. Good Video!

[joelleburnette]

Michelle McNamara was an expert at showing vs. telling in her book, "I'll Be Gone in the Dark." Her descriptions are succinct, hit you in the gut, and transport the reader into the scene.
A few examples:
♠His mouth smiled occasionally, but his eyes never did.
♠The case dragged me under quickly. Curiosity turned to clawing hunger.
♠He wasn't a big man, but fury doubled his size.

[spacewhales]

Creative Paralysis! That’s it! Kate you described it perfectly! Fear of saying it stupid or I get indecisive about how I want it to come out and then my mind kinda short circuits and I can’t get anything to come out. Even if my cup is loaded.

[Reine]

Thank you for SHOWING us what you meant with examples instead of just telling us haha. I saw "with examples" and clicked right away. Please do more of these episodes.

[jacindaellison]

Tell: Sarah gave me a look. "You know, Mom isn't always right."
I knew that, but ever since I could remember, I've always been afraid to go against Mom. Since she was older and wiser, I'd always assumed she was right about the world. Sarah thought for herself. I didn't think there was anything wrong with asking parents for advice.

Show: Sarah gave me a look. "You know, Mom isn't always right."
I widened my eyes, looking behind me to make sure Mom didn't hear her. "The thought if even considering Mom could be wrong about this gave me goosebumps. Seeing Mom being able to navigate life, knowing how to handle certain situations in her time and beyond gave me the courage to rely on her wisdom. Sarah, on the other hand, wasn't like me. Or, I was unlike her. She would know what do. I don't recall the last time she confided in Mom about any major problem solving. I could think for myself. I wanted to double check and see if I was going on the right path. There was nothing wrong with asking parents for advice.

[elradswordman]

It was really interesting and I can tell that video game designers can make the same mistakes. I know a lot of games where they show us something and they feel like the characters need to tell us again and again. Many Japanese rpg's abuse of useless words. Like : we're in a volcano area, there's lava and smokes and vapors. Ok we know by looking at the screen that our heroes are in for a tough and hot journey through that area. What do the characters say ? : "There is lava everywhere and it's hot"....oh boy.... instead of giving us an element we don't already know to keep momentum, or keep quiet, they just overloading words on an already clear pictured situation.

In movies, even small words can be enough to ruin a moment. Remember in Batman VS Superman ? at the end of the movie, in the last portion of it, Superman comes back on the battlefield where Batman and Wonder Woman are already fighting. We have that shot where Superman arrives solemnly and Wonder Woman says : "Kal-El we know it's him.... thanks for ruining the emotion of the shot with just one word.... (well, two).

sometimes I feel like silents are more welcome that an overdose of "noise"... I'll have to test that in my writings too :-)

Thanks to you too for your videos, you're both wonderful persons !

[joehebert]

He knocked at the door and it quickly opened.

"Hi, Madeline, " he said. "Mom said that you had something for me to pick up."

"This was all I could find, " said Madeline as she began to pass him a bottle in that all too familiar shape.

"Do you want to take it?"

"No, " he heard himself reply.

"No, I don't."

As he exited the door, he crossed his arms in front of himself as he trudged his way back home. His body shivered in spite of the coat he wore. He would not allow himself to believe that the moisture building on his face was from the falling snow as that was from somebody else's story.

[janellescott]

You ladies are awesome! As a homeschool mom I’d love to know more about your homeschooling education. I love that you have taken your passion and have turned it into a career(??).

[johnrossi]

whether I posted about it or not, after every episode I am reminded how knowledgeable this podcast is and the information the two of you put out for your audience is immensely appreciated.

[Neil-writer-author]

This explains showing vs telling in an easy way to understand way.

[travismiddleton]

Great topic. As a writer I often struggle with showing rather than telling in my plots so it was good to get some tips.😊

[kaokurosawa]

Hands down, this is the best episode you guys have ever recorded.

[nightdruid]

I love this!! I think there’s a lot of pressure on writers in the writing culture that you can *only* show, and that telling is to be avoided like the plague. But they’re both just tools to convey ideas in a different voice, a different way :). A lot of my favorite books are very heavy on ‘telling’, as far as I define telling anyway. The sense of disembodied narration that’s either omniscient–or subjective, that can be really really interesting.

But of course, it’s never all telling or all showing. Most novels are a balance between the two, to varying degrees of resonance with different readers. Introducing it as a creative choice and demonstrating the different effect of each side by side is really helpful ^^. This episode was awesome!

[beboldbebrave]

Yes, yes girls this was very good and very helpful when I found myself struggling to decipher which was showing which was towel and then I realize how much I needed this exercise. Thank you.

[BBPaws]

This is amazingly helpful! I can't think of a stronger word to drop that adverb lol thank you for such wonderful insight & advice.

[artbyfaith]

I appreciate both of you. Thank goodness for you!❤❤

[ReustersPlace]

I realize writers are quite different from Game Masters of RPGs, but we need to use some of the same techniques. Looking forward to finding more tips like this to expand my descriptive talents

[AlliCassandra]

After 11 years of reading blog post after blog post DESPERATELY trying to understand showing vs telling and kinda coming away with "avoid words like 'felt, ' 'smelled, ' heard, ' 'was', etc I FINALLY think I get it. Listening to this episode a 3d time and taking notes!!