How Losing Your Job Changes You

Unexpectedly losing a job is hard, but it can also change you in the long term, setting off a cycle that may be hard to break out of, and leaving lasting effects on the way you see and interact with the world.

Hosted by: Anthony Brown

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[dweejaltorado]

Kind of hard to trust a company when they say they're not going to lay off anyone and then the next week, do a complete 180 and start laying off people, which is what happened to me. Companies don't care about you; in their eyes, you're disposable. In the end, it's all about money.

[aufsandgebaut]

there is a loss in social life, because a lot of people are embarrassed when they loose their jobs and they want to hide it

[Whatalansays]

This episode hitting particularly hard seeing as I was laid off TWICE as this pandemic trucks along. It has been incredibly damaging to my mental health

[stagegirl]

I am so glad to hear there's a reason for feeling like this. I was would be out of a job in September, back in July. Started a new job in August and just the other day I broke down at my new job, due to my lack in confidence having lost my previous job. This makes me feel so much better knowing the reasons why i broke down. Thought I was losing it.

[UrukEngineer]

I was a soldier for 35 years. I retired and joined a construction company. I was struck by the lack of trust between workers compared to the Army. Once COVID struck I was made redundant. I can now see why there was no trust between staff.

[kmdash]

In 2015, Martin Seligman, one of the people who helped develop learned helplessness theory, gave a speech about how wrong learned helplessness theory was. He said in his speech that there is a system in the brain that is both necessary and sufficient for helplessness, and that it's default is to be on. People learn over time to turn off that part of the brain. So it's less that we learn to be helpless, and more accurate to say we learn not to be helpless. How this might change our understanding of this video is that in times of uncertainty we revert back to helpless behavior.

And given what we know from life course perspectives, having exit counseling on the business side, and a support network to help with the transition to joblessness might help with the change.

[WeeLin]

The loss of trust and motivation is so very true. As someone who's been laid off multiple times, you soon learn that it doesn't matter how hard you try or what skills you bring to the table - if the higher ups want you gone (usually so they can cut costs), then you're gone. That's it. They don't care, and it doesn't matter how strong you make your appeal. Don't get me wrong, I still work hard, but it feels like a more mercenary thing nowadays. I do my tasks, my employers pay me, and that's where it ends. I've no sense of loyalty and zero interest in making friends at work. It just doesn't feel worth it. On the plus side, I find this frees up more energy for personal projects (like writing, which is now my side hustle), but without that outlet, I'm not sure what I'd do. Probably just feel quite depressed.

[maggie]

Anyone can be fired. I've been fired twice and both times it hurt immensely. My last job the people there were cruel and when the boss fired me my immediate emotion was relief. There was definitely heartache because at one time I felt love for my coworkers because they were the only family I felt I had. Now it's just anger off and on. Im not angry about the job loss but more about I didn't deserve how I was treated. Lesson learned, don't stay at a place where you aren't valued. I stayed too long and have bitter feelings. Losing a job is like an adult rite of passage. It's not all bad. It usually is a blessing. Im not talking being laid off but flat out fired. I never want to see my old coworkers again. It does make you not trust people. At my current job I play it safe. I've been doing the same job for 3 years and I stay clear of the managers. No more drama for me.

[AV-]

If you've been experiencing losing a job recently you're DEFINITELY not alone.

[aadisha]

I love how he is modulating his voice with great consideration. You know he is a great guy!

[Ren-nwoq]

As one who's been without a job since March, I find this incredibly fascinating.

[sogerc]

My wife lost her job 3 days ago. I'm sending this video to her right now.

[NewMessage]

And quitting one, can do wonders for our mood.

[davidhand]

The drop in social activity is due to the loss of self worth. People you used to know saw you in a more respectable way than you feel right now. You don't want to break that, to disappoint them seeing that their respect was misplaced. You don't want to explain your situation or answer questions because that means verbalizing, over and over, what you see as your failure. When you talk about it with them, you want to be able to present it as a story about a rough period that you eventually overcame, and you'll keep waiting for that to be true.

Anybody else experience it this way? Was it different for you? How so?

[FellowRabbit]

I was fired from Starbucks a couple years ago for being depressed. They would never admit that was directly the reason, but it's pretty easy to tell that was why as they listed a ton of symptoms of depression as reasons instead. I couldn't even apply for unemployment because they somehow determined that, because I was depressed, I was "a danger to the company's image". I came closer than I'd ever been to ending it all right there, but fortunately my parents called and helped me level my head a little. Instead I spent the next 8 months homeless. Late last year I finally turned it around and got a better job with less stress, but I'll never again be able trust an employer to treat their workers with dignity. Starbucks deserves to burn.

[MrTooEarnestOnline]

How are you supposed to pay for therapy after you lost a job, if you also lose your healthcare with the job??

[rsklinge]

I was fired by a guy I considered a friend. That was eight years ago, and all of what this video says applies to me still.

[leahmcpherson]

This man's voice is wonderfully melodic. ^_^

[anjaninator]

Being fired is literally getting kicked out of a group because you weren’t good enough (barring some special cases ofc)

[katheymann]

At 68 & disabled, but not enough for the government, it's too late for me. My job lose took it's toll on me mentally, physically & financially. It also left me without friends & physical contact with my family. I've become a hermit in an old & leaky 20 ft travel trailer with no flushing toilet.