Your money trauma starts at childhood | Your Brain on Money

Do you remember feeling “money shame” for the first time?

It’s no secret that the values, advice, and experiences we encounter as children shape how we relate to other people later in life. But less obvious is how our early experiences shape our relationship with money.

Like other relationships, the ways we interact with money — whether it be spending, saving, or investing — can be highly emotionally charged, sometimes to the extent that we lose our control to make smart financial decisions.

That’s why it’s important to understand where you come from before plotting where you’re going when it comes to personal finance. Doing so will not only help you plan for financial success, but it will also give you the tools to help your children develop a healthy and positive relationship with money.

Kathleen Burns Kingsbury’s title is incorrectly cited in the video as financial psychologist. Kingsbury’s title is wealth psychology expert.

We created this video in partnership with @MillionStoriesMedia

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[My_]

I grew up poor and now as a adult i understood why i am so frugal, I'm really good in saving money but it's a bit toxic because it comes from the fear of not being able to afford the most simple things like in my childhood. And even now that i have enough to live well the anxiety that it is still not enough is quite crippling.

[stuflikethis]

I’m not stealing, I just love money so much

- Kathleen

[stevenhill]

I'm forever grateful for my father telling how to never pay interest on credit cards when he said; "'Never spend more money than you have and always pay the bill on time"' Thank you Dad!

[compaqtube]

Kathleen, I think the issue wasn’t that you loved money but that you were stealing lmao

[lovelasnow]

If you want to talk about money trauma from childhood, I used to be good at saving money but the one lesson I learned in childhood is that if I don’t spend my money someone else will

[mindfulnesswithmatt]

Our relationship with money is so plagued with fear because we weren't taught financial literacy at home and in school. We need to heal that relationship and make more value of money rather than just making more of it. A great series, thank you

[WOWDOWN]

“A smart person learns from their mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others.”

[nicoferrari]

I was raised in a middle class family, and like most middle class families is the last couple of decades, sometimes we had to cut our expenses, other times we could afford more things, for example a game console, new tv, etc. And my main take away from all of that is to understand the proper value of money, understand that money is just a tool, a tool that you should take care of but not to the point of being something you "love'' or are afraid of, it should not be the center of your life. At the end of the day money a is a tool to help us get through life, nothing less, nothing more. And like any tool it, doesn't work for everything.

[ibefilmin]

"The Love of Money, is the root of all kinds of evil" is the actual quote. People always forget the Love part. Money isn't the root. The Love for Money is.

[em-mgmf]

I wasn't taught about personal finance in school but my history teacher used to tell my class the birth of money in middle school. That story changes the way how I view money completely. It is something we trade for stuffs we need to improve our health, relationship and more. It is not valuable itself, the way you spend it is.

[jayyzee]

‘You love so much that you want to keep it’
Yeah.. no, the clear message was to not steal/keep someone else’s money for yourself

[ScottiveNatish]

This is a tough subject for most. Whether you agree with every point or not, this is a great conversation starter. Money loses its power and mystique when you discuss it rationally...especially with the intention of understanding it more. I noticed in the comments there are many like me who never had any conversations about money with anyone in the family. In my case, it was because they didn't have a clue either. In reference to the trauma in the title, money (or rather the lack of) has traumatized some folks. Yet here we are. In the age of information. If we're still functioning, we can learn and improve upon today. No one is going to learn it for us. I mean, do we want them to chew our food for us too?? Stop blaming. Stop shaming. There are a lot of people who have overcome some wicked adversity. We can too. Or not. Up to us.

[thomasseichter]

How broken is Kathleens analysis of her love to money? She thinks the message of her mother was that love for money is a shame, whereas she should be ashamed of taking money that doesn't belong her. But great to hear that she overcame that shame of taking money that's nor hers, now that she is in a position of power as Entrepreneur.

[eduardopadilla]

as a teacher, my recommendation to parents is make it a habit to randomly explain things to your kids, like how you´re making your taxes when they find you late at night working on them, or why doors creak when they complain that their door makes too much noise, how hospitals make money when you go to check something, why you never reach the rainbow, how traffic lights work, who's that guy whose name is in the street you're the worst that can happen is that they learn something that's never going to come up in life again

[judithhenry]

Please I need help, I’m tired of scammers online

[CAT-zcxs]

My parents were terrible with money saw how they struggled my entire childhood. So I learned to do the opposite of whatever they do. It’s worked out great!

[SN-szkw]

Financial literacy can take generations to develop. My parents had close to zero. I’ve done well, but learned a lot the hard way. I still carry my parents’ sense of inferiority & fear of overreaching. Hoping my daughters will be way ahead of me. At 19, my eldest talks about building “family wealth” in terms of our property investments. I sense she’s broken free of the family past. 🤞🤞🤞

[jaspershepherdsmith]

This Kathleen lady is balls-to-the-wall insane. 'I stole money from my mom and she got mad, so I grew up thinking that my love of money is shameful'. Absolutely demented.

[ikemadi]

I was expecting some advices for people who have financial trauma already and I was disappointed

[alelectric]

My dad was paranoid about money because he didn’t have any growing up poor.
This made me paranoid about it as well. I don’t have alot of money but I’m not poor but still worry about money.