How To Win Any Argument With Kindness

Stop losing and start WINNING. Negotiations can feel intimidating, but our methods make it easy. We rely on emotional intelligence and empathy to get the job done. Explore our content and find the best skills and strategies to ace negotiations. Head to our website to subscribe to our newsletter and attend one of our live events. See you there!

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About The Black Swan Group
Founded and led by former lead FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, the Black Swan Group has 10+ years of experience working with companies and individuals on taking their negotiation skills to the next level. Chris’ book, Never Split the Difference, is a Wall Street Journal bestseller and has sold over 2 million copies worldwide. Our expert team of coaches discuss everything from silence techniques to influential empathy.

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Thanks for watching!

[EvergreenBuildsDIY]

One of my favorite quotes: "Everyone you meet is going through a battle you know nothing about, be kind"

[crapphone]

It takes a real man to start with empathy rather than confrontation. Good for you sir!

[Islanderjr]

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”
(Proverbs 15:1)

[Spills]

I road rage sometimes....Ill always remember being irate at another driver...cursing...punching my steering wheel and a school bus pulled
I look up with probbably still the most aggressive facial expression and there was a 5 yr old maybe sitting and looking out the window....she stared at me for a couple seconds and then gave the biggest wave and the most innocent smile ear to immediately took me from anger to basically melting and smiling and waving....Ill never forget that little girl....it reminded me of how innocence and lack of judgements can truly just change the world, ....
I felt so foolish afterwards and really just embarrassed at my actions....that 5 yr old taught me something that

[automaticmattywhack]

I got mad at some guy who cut me off. I sped up next to him and was about to yell at him when he yelled in broken English, "I sorry! I make mistake! I still love you!" It made me laugh and diffused the whole situation.

[Sungazerglass]

I work IT for a bunch of nurse end users. They are in the business of compassion and they have… days that are emotional. I always tell my guys, “you have no idea what that nurse just walked away from to take your call. You have no idea what they are washing off their hands or absorbing into their soul”. I am glad there is still empathy in this world. Thank you for sharing.

[brettanderson]

Wise words at the end... patience, empathy and compassion open many doors

[huggalove]

Everyone hates working in a customer service role because of angry people, I take it as a point of pride when you stay calm, and they leave happy and apologising for being rude. People are people, press the right buttons and they are golden!

[melissamccon]

This strategy is excellent for interacting with kids, teens in particular. When my kids come off as emotionally combative or disrespectful I can make the choice to punish them for their feelings or help them understand them by simply asking if they are okay. It completely deactivates their fight response and once calm my kids feel free to open up about their internal battles and sometimes we end up spending 2 hours talking all about their emotional life, thoughts, and goals. We all leave the interaction more connected and self-aware. This has greatly reduced seeing repeat negative behaviors, more so than any punishment I could conjure up. Not to mention they feel validated and respected and so they offer that more to others.

[Bearcat]

The ability to “turn away” wrath has to be one of the greatest gifts of all!

[purpherder]

the story where a child came to school late and when questioned they replied i woke up and my mom was dead and i didnt know what to do so i came here. that really set it in stone for me, you dont know what people are going through give them a break!

[jeffreypedersen]

This is actually the definition of being meek=great power under perfect control!👍👍

[littlebirdbecca]

I recently defused a situation by asking someone that. It worked so well.

[jasonwilcox]

I used to be the Lieutenant at very busy Utility company. Some of the truckers would get irate because of ID checks, it was a requirement of my job contractually. Being in the service industry before hand for over thirty years gave me an edge. I said to one guy "I hope your day gets better, sir." With honest sincerity. When he left he blew his horn, smiled and waved. Their dog could've died, anything for that matter, it definitely changes your perspective.

[halucinator]

This goes for all aspects of life. Kindness goes a long way for a lot of people.

[michaelcurran]

What im going theough is no excuse for me to treat you like crap. The same goes for others treatment of me. Nuff said!

[Jooforia]

He's proved that there is often something behind the rage !!!

[ronchapman]

It's takin a long time for me to understand that not everything concerns only me. I feel alot better for it...🙃

[eric.c.bullock]

"Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. "

[eveningwiththekennedys]

It's very true. When I work at Walmart in produce, & also helped push in carts. I realize that most people before they entered the parking lot that they we're in a good mood. Then for whatever reason (traffic, getting cut off, people walking slowly, etc) they would switch switch their mood to frustration. So I found it a challenge to try and steer them back to that positive mood. Listening to them unload that frustration was the 1st step. Then I would try to give them a reason to feel better about their shopping experience. I've learned Sinning, Suffering, & Selfishness (the 3 S's) are linked. When people sin against others. It's because they are suffering because was, or believe that somebody was selfish to them.