Flirting vs. Being Friendly: How to Tell the Difference

Ever had a conversation that left you wondering: Was that flirting or were they just being nice? 😳 We’ve all been there—trying to decode mixed signals and subtle gestures. Flirting and friendliness can look very similar, but there are key differences that can help you figure out what’s really going on.

In this video, we’ll break down the psychology of flirting vs. friendliness, covering:
✔️ How context changes everything
✔️ The tone of conversation and what makes it flirty
✔️ The "Extra Mile" Test to see if they’re making it personal
✔️ Body language cues that signal romantic interest
✔️ How flirting invites reciprocity while friendliness doesn’t

So, next time you’re stuck in a "Are they into me or just nice?" situation, you’ll have the tools to read between the lines!

💬 What’s your best tip for spotting flirting vs. friendliness? Let’s talk in the comments!

👉 If you found this video helpful, check out:

This video is made possible by Betterhelp, an affordable online counseling platform. Use the link below to help support psych2go:

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor & Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Brandon De Abreu
Animator: Zuzia
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong
**References:**

- Ghassani, S. A. (2023, April 12). *How to Tell if Someone is Flirting and Not Just Being Friendly.* Insights: Life Management Science Labs.
- Mangalampalli, P. (2022, November 11). *Flirting or Just Being Nice? Here’s How to Find Out.* Wellness Hub.
- Lusinski, N. & Steber, C. (2021, April 14). *Here’s How to Tell If Someone’s Actually Flirting With You (And Not Just Being Friendly).* Bustle.

[neofulcrum]

It’s honestly confusing how closely associated the signs are. It’s why many don’t take the risks because a misunderstanding can be disastrous.
Better to just be straightforward.

[doge_boi]

the fact i got this when i was trying to figure out if a girl was flirting with me or not is wild

[MapsCharts]

She pushes you against the bed, switches off the light and starts kissing you. Is she into you? Again, you can't really tell, it's dark in the room so she might not have seen what she was doing.

[kenrickbautista]

I'm only flirty to those who I'm fully interested in. I'm just a genuinely friendly person in general.

[JAGreat]

I think after watching this I finally recognize that I've never really been flirted with. And what I view as flirtacious really needs to change. The biggest tip was that flirting is always intentionally done to gauge someone else's s interest not just to show it.

[BlazingBlacklightGamez]

A girl just confessed she liked me yesterday. Bro I’ve never been so concerned about my social skills because according to her she’s been dropping hints for like weeks and I never noticed 💀

[kuronaialtani]

Not knowing whether it’s flirting or friending is what led to her trying for a week without success before she put me to a wall and went “look, I’m into you, is it yes or no”

[Stellar_Neoma]

I clicked because people say I flirt without meaning to flirt. After watching I can see what people mean 😭

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Start with context clues 0:27
2). The tone of conversation 1:00
3). Body language 2:21
4). The touch spectrum 2:54

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[-KorruptionOfLight-]

I do have terrible difficulty differentiating between these two. My go to state in social situations is being friendly. Flirting to me seems forceful and manipulative and I deem others attempts at being flirty to me as being friendly. This is probably why I'm single

[SentryIsLiterallyMe]

Tfw you thought that your crush is really into you, until you realize they’re like that with everyone. I’ve had many instances where I thought this person really liked me and I’m thinking I’ll have a chance with them, but they acted the same way around others using the same lines and same mannerisms.

[TheWreckingball]

Due to my autism these signs are very difficult to notice. I'll most likely fail to realise the difference between flirting and being nice. Since I litteraly see no difference between them. Humans in general are just way too complicated. If only love was easier.

[SeanErnstHuerva]

The fact that i got this while thinking "did i just flirt?, nah probably not, or does it?" While also remembering all of the embarrassing time of people thought i was flirting

[kyanoAngel]

Spent much of my childhood up to my high school years thinking I was utterly unattractive. All the bullying and peer rejection gave me that impression. My social anxiety and low self-esteem only made it worse. But later I've realized that was never the case. I had schoolmates who were literally flirting, incl. the touching stuff, and it all just went over my head. Then again, even if I knew, I wouldn't know what to do with that kind of information, lol. How I was treated as a kid took its toll on me.

[lonewolfnergiganos]

I'm honestly too shy to be considered a flirt, so I prefer to be the friendly one while the other one is either friendly as well or the flirty type, which I don't mind.

[funpol-ice]

in my experience you can tell if someone is flirting if they say/do something that they only do to/with you

[RobboEntertainment]

Interesting how the friendly side references a level of comfort... recently got rejected in a sense, was close with a girl and flirty, then she told me that she's started seeing someone. The kicker- she told me she's flirty with me BECAUSE she's comfortable around me. Like ?!?!?!?

[ClintonSaucedo]

It’s surprising that Casanova Optimization of Attraction remains relatively unknown. For anyone serious about improving their dating skills, this book is an essential read.

[StarDiver_freminet]

this is helpful for those thats having mixed signals problems, the new artstyle is cuteee too! :333 (im too scared too flirt or give signs lol)

[melaniescribbles]

As an autistic lady with social anxiety; Honestly, I'm kind of forever alone with little to no interest in me, but on the rare occasion that the flirting DOESN'T go over my head? Then it helps me to imagine what I'd say to a friend who's experiencing the same thing. Would I say 'he/she is into you', or would I say 'nah, it's just a general people person friendliness thing'? I mean, from there, people in general usually can decide whether that interest is requited or not. I'm just here to give them the lowdown of how things simply are, and to remind them that they're under absolutely no obligation to reciprocate if that spark just ain't there. I'm just oddly enough kind of used to giving advice on that one, lol. And I often hear that I sound kind of real and relatable on that one despite my lack of personal experience on that one. So I'm just like 'what would I say if someone online would be asking this same thing?' But usually, I have to tell people 'This alone isn't enough to call it here, but it's enough reason to keep an eye out for their behavior patterns on that one'. And it's usually what I tell myself since I'm like really good at pattern recognition.