The 3 Explanations: Why Introverts Struggle To Speak Up

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The 3 Explanations: Why Introverts Struggle To Speak Up

You may walk up to someone, maybe a coworker, and ask them questions, expecting some answers immediately, but you are left bewildered as they struggle to get themselves together to answer your question. This does not happen because they do not have the answers you seek, but it could be because they are introverted, and they are having a hard time speaking up at that moment. Here are three scientifically proven facts that explain why introverts have issues with speaking up.

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"Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking" by Susan Cain :

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[JayeMallard]

Personally, I also see three possible explanations, but that are a little different than the ones presented here.

I'll use the example of a class discussion. The first reason I find it hard to participate is getting caught in overthinking my piece. Other people talk, and I think of something to add to the conversation... but first I want to rehearse what I want to say in my head. Probably that first rehearsal will lead me to want to better my input with additional information or rewording it to be more concise or come across more strongly... and by the time I am about satisfied with it and ready to raise my hand to indicate that I have something to say, turning my attention back to the class, I realize that while I was rehearsing my intervention, the conversation steered enough that what I was going to say is now off topic...

Another common thing is feeling or actually being pressured to speak up when I genuinely don't have anything novel to add to what has already been said. It isn't uncommon for introverts to despise talking 'just to talk' when we don't have anything interesting to say. I'd rather say nothing than simply verbalize my agreeing with this person or that person, which I think makes me look more stupid or boring than simply keeping quiet.

The third situation for me is when I would very much want to express an opinion, but that opinion goes against the general vibe of the group. Introverts generally hate drawing attention to themselves, as well as having all eyes on them for a long period of time. If I express my unpopular or 'against the grain' opinion, I know that there is a high chance that I won't be able to just make this one intervention and leave it at that. Someone else is bound to want to get into an argument and pull me into this verbal game of table tennis... for which I haven't had a chance to rehearse any of my 'shots' beyond the 'service' or initial input. As an introvert, I often find this all too daunting.

In general, I think I would suggest that introverts usually like to stay a couple steps ahead of the conversation. We aren't good at expressing ourselves spontaneously, and having all eyes on us when we haven't had time to prepare, while it may make an extrovert feel considered and stimulated, only makes us introverts feel uncomfortably scrutinized and under pressure to 'perform' in conditions that aren't ideal for us.

That is how I would explain it for myself, anyway.

[scottmcintosh]

Questions are the beginning of wisdom. The only stupid questions are the ones not asked.

One of the simplest, most common & most obvious reasons is just plain shyness. And the simplest solution, for myself growing up, was to just get up & get it over & done with as soon as possible, instead of cowering in the back of the room dreading my name being called. Face my fears head on. Other people will be getting up to speak after I'm done. I will be quickly forgotten by my audience. I would still usually sit at the back of the room, though 😂😅
👄 I usually don't talk unless I feel I have something important to say. Small talk is actually quite easy if you have a wide & esoteric range of interests 👂

🌌🔭

[amandachagnon]

I struggle with my short term memory
A LOT.!! I'll be sitting down or something & want to go do something, the second I stand up, I instantly forget what I was going to do then I have to sit back down or walk back out of a room & try to think of what I was going to do.!
IT'S FRUSTRATING & HARD TO DEAL WITH EVERY SECOND/MINUTE EVERY SINGLE DAY, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOSING MY MIND.!!?
I'VE ALWAYS HAVE HAD ISSUES WITH MEMORY BUT NOT AS BAD AS IT IS NOW.!!??
THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS VIDEO, NOW I CAN SHARE IT WITH FAMILY MEMBERS & FRIENDS & HOPEFULLY THEY'LL UNDERSTAND ME BETTER.!??