OCD3: What is Existential OCD?

ABOUT OCD3
OCD 3 is a web series that brings professional perspectives to the OCD community so sufferers can make healthy decisions and lead better lives.

ABOUT MADE OF MILLIONS
The Made of Millions foundation is a global advocacy nonprofit on a mission to change how the world perceives mental health.

Each year, millions of people around the world are diagnosed with a mental health condition. People of every age, country, gender and ethnicity. Millions more go undiagnosed, and are forced to battle their symptoms without the care and support they deserve.

As sufferers, we know their pain. We know the isolation they experience at the hands of cultural stigma. We know the anger they feel at media outlets who misrepresent their conditions. And we know the frustration they have with healthcare systems that make it impossible to find help. The Made of Millions Foundation wants to heal this pain.

Using the power of art, media and digital technology, we’re on a mission to transform how the world perceives mental health. And in doing so, create a safer and more inclusive future for sufferers everywhere.

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

[jonathaniel-nikl]

This is the final boss after defeating all other OCD obsessions.

[bvslinkyone]

Am i the only one who will be in a great mood and all of a sudden it hits you.... And you just stop and think about it, and you just start to feel hopeless, and then you start to freak out that you discovered all of reality? Or am i just crazy.

[blakekelly]

To anyone who feels that they are the only person on Earth and that their mind is producing everything that they see and feel, you just have to take my/our word for it that you are not alone and we all have the capacity to feel these thoughts and emotions but you’ve just stumbled down a philosophical rabbit hole. When we die I truly believe that we will be given the answers we are searching for. The key is to find tolerance in uncertainty, do not wilt away trying to find an answer that does not exist. Be okay with the fact that you’ll never know and live your life.

[CaminoWillow]

This video has pretty much saved my life. For the past three months these questions have become alot more furious in my mind Disconnecting me from reality and people. To know it's a treatable medical condition and not the begining of madness is honest to god a life saver

[jacoblopez]

The fact that you’re not the only one with these thoughts (looking at the comments) truly makes me feel like a normal human which is what we are maybe a bit curious than others, love you guys keep strong and positive!

[karlomoonblade]

This is the STRONGEST boss I've fought, but it was also the final nail for my greatest life transition, I successfully tamed this boss and all other life worries and problems does not affect me that much anymore. I thought this was a curse but end up my greatest blessing. Can handle life challenges so much easier

[brycek]

Here I am 45 years later and there is finally a name for this. I have worried about infinite nothingness for a majority of my life and no one could relate to these worries and therapists didn't know how to address this.

[Grxbs]

omg this video actually made me cry, its like i found the answer haha, i am seriously so happy this video exists, thank you! i know im still going to obsess about it but now i know its not just me.

[Afraid_of_ducks]

I straight up broke down when I found out this was a thing I felt like I was the only one. The amount of relief just knowing this is something treatable is so reassuring

[saagarshah]

I have this form of OCD and I can tell you that life sucks, its a burden that I cannot carry. I literally have no peace of mind. I experience passive suicidal ideation everyday.

[ReySkywalker]

The funniest thing about having this form of OCD is that it makes all the other themes you have dealt with in the past seem so stupid. I think back to when I only dealt with HOCD and feel that I should’ve been thankful.

With EOCD, it brings things up like life and death, existence, and the reality, duality and every other complicated, abstract and philosophical concept.

My EOCD makes me fear my own death, even when I know that being dead isn’t horrible or bad. I “experienced” what it was like for billions of years before I was born.

I also, whilst not believing in any spiritual beliefs, do believe that we become one with the universe once we die, as our energy and matter that made us up is deconstructed through decomposition or cremation into pure energy.

I also believe that the universe will continue for eternity with cycles of expansion and contraction, known as the Big Bounce Theory.

All of this being said, my OCD doesn’t care because it wants me to KNOW the answers, without any doubts.

[maxximus]

thankyou so so much sir,
i am a doctor of medicine and suffered ocd for many years .
been taking ssri and started cbt( reading a book ) .
when those thaughts or ideas on which i wasted my time obsessing and compulsing about for 15 years were no longer of concern, i rejoiced but only for a few hours when i went into the trap of existential thought and meaning of life etc. all that, turned through the pages of my CBT help book, but to no avail as i couldn't find this topic .
And after watching this video, just realizing that it is a part of OCD has greatly relieved me, and solved my problem .
Thank you so so much Sir

[BobbyThompsonJunior]

The problem with this subtype is that after you defeat it, it's a gift that keeps on giving, in my case, atleast. Every few years, or even months, the questions come back, and I am pushed into what seems to be an annual existential crisis.

[marsden]

Mine is that I'm in a simulation and everyone's like an npc has anyone else experienced that

[handsomesquidward]

Really glad I found this. Went through dpdr for 4 months, and been going through this shit for the past month. Felt my life crashing before my eyes and it’s by far the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. Glad this is curable

[jadel]

I have spent 4 years of my life failing university while creating a whole philosophical/religious system from scratch. I am still obsessing about details and contradictions. Cognitive dissonance is unbearable and the urge to solve it is so strong. I think the reason for this situation is that my life has been awful so far, I have no plan, I'm doing things I don't really want to do. I am hopeless, so instead i try to consolidate myself by creating something interesting, something that feels "above" life and keep me going day to day... And since I'm a critical thinker and I have abandoned by native religion, I have to do it all on my own.

[jacklawrence]

On the other side of this battle is wisdom and growth, everybody. We are not to shy away from our ocd, our dpdr or any other anxiety based label you might have. Instead we are to move THROUGH it and enjoy life deeply on the other side.
There is a lesson embedded in your suffering, it is not meaningless.

[ob]

Anyone who is struggling with these scary thoughts repeating, I urge you strongly to get the book "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts" by Sally M. Winston. It quite literally saved my life from this. Just get it.

[caerulea]

I want to say this on the chance it will help someone - the answer is to care less about these thoughts. I had been struggling terribly with this for months, wondering wether what I was experiencing was real or not. At times i'd even sit with a friend and question wether they were real or wether I'd imagined them, my face would flush and my heart would race when the thought occurred. It also isn't my intention to encourage reassurance seeking as that is not helpful with OCD, but one day I confided in a friend about having a 'video game feeling', I said sometimes I feel like I'm playing a game and nothing is real. His answer saved me - maybe it isn't real but who cares, just play the game. This is essentially desensitising yourself from the fear, if it's not real, if we have no answer - who cares. Just go with it anyway, let go of the fear, ground yourself and bring your brain back to physical sensation, relax your stomach muscles and unclench your jaw. We are just water and biological matter floating around on some mad rock - and that's truly it. Find something to care about, anything at all and focus on it hard. The rest might not be real, it might not be true, but it's your reality and that's all the matters. I truly truly hope this helps someone whos in the midst of it, I had suffered for months on end and one day a single thought clicked and helped to end my suffering! If it is all a simulation, well cool! Pretty awesome your mind managed to create your entire reality, what a cool brain you have.

[TheMZsadeBABY]

This is synchronicity! This video just popped up for me. I didn’t even know this type of OCD was a thing... man.