3 Courageous Ways To Forgive A Cheating Wife Or Husband

Learning that your spouse had an affair is an earth-shattering feeling. It leaves open-ended questions like, "where did we go wrong?" Or "What could I have done differently?" Infidelity happens for numerous reasons, and we all play a part in our marriages. Sometimes cheating happens because of internal traumas, resentment, fading feelings, and more. There's no way to go back in time and figure out what went wrong, so forget about trying to change the past.

Reflection is essential, but dwelling on your spouse's actions worsens the feeling and leads you down a rabbit hole. If your marriage feels torn apart by an affair, there are ways to heal and even better ways to forgive your spouse for the pain they've caused. We believe that forgiveness is a process, so even if you don't feel ready yet to forgive your spouse, we offer advice on slowly climbing the stairway to reconciliation and ultimately making your marriage stronger than before.

In this video, we cover:

-How to forgive a cheater

-Vengeance Vs. Justice

-The three steps to Decision-Based Forgiveness

-Expressing empathy

-Learning to move past the hurt

-The reconciliation process

-What to do if your spouse doesn't understand your pain

-Free resources to help you heal your marriage

An Affair can make or break your relationship. It takes two people to mend a marriage and a lot of effort to rebuild trust. If you desire to work things out with your partner and fall back in love again, the Marriage Helper team is here to support you.

Good people make bad decisions, and despite what our friends and family tell us, cheating isn't always black and white. We have worked with couples on the verge of divorce and ones who came back to each other after years of being apart. Our methods work, and we want to share our experiences with you. From our coaches to how-to articles, workshops, and more, we believe if anything works, this will.

Like, subscribe, and turn on notifications to hear more helpful videos and unique stories of reconciliation from other people going through the same situations you're in right now.

Please leave a comment below, give us your feedback and opinion, and share this video with someone you believe needs it.

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[mwh]

Betrayal from a person that you are close too, especially your spouse, is absolutely heartbreaking! I'm not sure if you can forgive, but you will not ever forget! Believe me, you can move on! You try to do the best for your family, yourself, and even for the person that betrayed your love and trust! You can't let something like this dictate your life! It's a terrible experience, however, it is something that you can grow from!

[eileenfuentes]

Not only were your videos the lifeline of my marriage as a betrayed spouse, the comfort of your voice really provided comfort. A voice without judgment, but a voice of compassion and empathy. That plus all of the helpful information was what kept me fighting for my marriage when most people would have thought "leave him!" Tomorrow will be our 16-year wedding anniversary. If you would have asked me last year I would have thought we will not have another anniversary together again.

[camillagonzales]

As usual, the Betrayed has to “eat it.”

[MountainRat]

My wife is barely remorseful. She isn't doing much to change herself. I don't want to hurt her and I do not want her to feel rejected. But she is just being the same person and expects things to get better.

[firepitfitness]

I am listening intensely because I am a spouse that has stepped out on the love of my life and working to gain her trust back

[azeemsarfarazlexicon]

I am cheated on. I think I’ll mary a girl who has been through the same pain of being cheated on. We both will be aware of the calamities cheating inflicts, consequently will have a good life

[cmarbormaster]

Good stuff guys, I think I'd like to add is the other partner that is committed. The infidelity needs to show guilt, remorse, and empathy towards how they make you feel that is also key to getting over the anger and betrayal

[chadtoscano]

I'd be willing to apologize to my wife every day for the rest of my life for anything that I ever did that hurt her. And I have never had an affair. But if I did I would definitely be willing to apologize any time they were triggered or anything like that because I would want to take on the pain that they would otherwise be feeling themselves because I'm the one that caused that pain. I think the betraying spouse should be willing to do that if they really love their spouse and want their spouse to heal from the pain they caused. In fact why wouldn't they wanna do that. Well the answer is they don't want to feel the guilt or shame. but if they're caused pain to their spouse they should be willing to feel the guilt. and any spouse that's willing to do that I'm willing to bet the betrayed spouse would be much much much more easily forgiving of them because they would see them as being truly remorseful.
And that level of remorse would bring a lot of healing to both spouses

[maribelmartinez]

Now I understand why my husband did what he did. He’s father was very sick and was dying. So my husband took this unhealthy route and ended up hurting me, but it wasn’t about me it was about him and cooping with that hurt that he was going to loose his father. Thank you you opened my eyes to see him different.

[Boniggy]

I was cheated on by my wife 3months ago. she hooked up with her college bf for 6months. She later told me "i just wanted to hurt you". So where does the "evil" fall with that? How do i forgive someone that wanted to intentionally hurt me? I have forgiven her... but its been a super hard path. She has zero remorse, doesn't want "Christian" counseling, has barely said sorry, took a few weeks to cut him out of her life (im still not entirely convinced this happened, she didnt show any proof), and has since locked up her phone and accounts so i cant see anything she's doing.. zero transparency.
Does that sound like someone that wants to fix anything?
I want to desperately fix this since we've got 17yrs and 3kids under our belts... but I cant seem to get her to see any light. My only option at this time is to divorce her.... which completely breaks my heart even more.

[seanconway]

Marriage helper helped save my marriage

[raidenewalden]

What I’ve heard is very helpful and I want to say thank you .

[mohdnormohdaminnullah]

What angers me most is.. The one's betrayed.. Has to take all in and then forgive their partner.. Cause the betrayed are the one who actually wanna things to work... your partner clearly has move on the minute the infidelity started. Yes, they may want to come back as suddenly the thought of living in her/his affair will not work for a long time. Fantasy will be fantasy. Now all this marriage counsellors do is to exploits on ur vulnerability in tough times.. I say the only way for you to forgive ur partner is to forget her altogether.. Leave when u are hurting.. Any animals knows that..

[denisships]

Can it also be an option to forgive but actively complet tthe divorce? With the aim of a positive cooparenting and get the kids out of a spiral of discussions and arguments.

[ewan]

why cant all therapists be like this!💚

[dreamhopeandpain]

My husband cheated on me emotionally; he went to the woman he fell in love with 20 years ago under the excuse of shopping and fell in love with her again in the form of limerence, I suffered so much that I received psychological treatment, he did not go back after this came out, but when we met, he was looking at her with his mouth wide open, and the woman was looking at him with her mouth open. Despite me, he exhibits flirtatious behavior. A year and a half has passed, he listens to songs on the music list that confirm his love for her and makes me think that he is continuing. He never wants to divorce me, he completely denies this incident. He occasionally had micro-cheating incidents with other women, which I noticed. Do you think I can stay married to this man? Okay, I treated him badly in the past because he upset me, but was this my punishment? Isn't this pain enough? That woman comes into my dreams every night and I hurt my eyes with her image every morning and it never goes away.

[nathaliekovacs]

Is the forgiving person who stays in the marriage not now feeling TRAPPED?? Because they swore loyalty and love towards this person who couldn’t reciprocate?

[Mikimouse]

Yes you can forgive.. no you don’t have to stay. My cheater ex husband wouldn’t even do the work required so no point staying.

[buffuniballer]

One can only offer forgiveness. If the cheater doesn't think she did anything wrong, she will never accept it.

Forgiveness is a two step process. The betrayed person can only be willing to forgive. It still takes the cheater admitting they did something wrong and accepting forgiveness for it to be complete.

Without such acceptance, there is no forgiveness.

It's offer and acceptance. One can only offer. One cannot impose forgiveness upon another.

[MollyLuella]

Did I miss the link to the free e-book? I do not see it in the show notes…