Not About Angels, Birdy 1 hour loop

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Popcorn Music

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i listen to this song about my ex. everything we had, all of our memories, everything we went through together. i miss it. but i know its best for me to try to move forward with my life. even if him breaking up with me killed me inside. i know ill be okay. i hope ill be okay.

emilyhandshy

This song reminds me of what I’m losing in life and who I miss the most

Emmz

A little story:

So I liked a boy. This boy meant the world to me, every day when I'd see him, my heart would do the little jump in its chest. Before him, I thought I knew what true love really was. But as soon as I had met him, I realised how mistaken I was previously. Being in love, is like waking up everyday in a brilliant mood, knowing you're going to see him in school that day. To wanting to spend every second of your day with this person, who's brought true colours back into your once darkened life. Every time we saw eachother, we slowly feel more and more in love with eachother, even when I didn't think I could fall any harder. Before him, I was a mess. I could barely sleep on good night's, crying untill voiceless and feeling so alone in this big world. I wanted to die. Everything was just so overwhelming and too much, I couldn't help but wonder of the possibility of just giving up. And one day I nearly did. Untill he saved me. He didn't realise he did, but just him being there for me made me feel so much less alone and more like someone cares truly for me. I loved him with every inch of my heart and more. We were practically one person together. We stayed strong for eachother, we loved eachother with all our hearts, even when it ached to love someone that much. Then it happened. It was a Monday morning, first lesson when I realised straight away: he wasn't there. I asked the teacher if she had saw him, if she knew where he was, and she had no clue. No one did. Same thing on Tuesday, no one knew where he was. Wednesday and Thursday passed, Friday too. The the whole weekend without hearing from him. I knew something was wrong. For someone to vanish so fast, but love so hard, I knew it had to be serious. Monday at school felt even worse then before. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out and ripped it to pieces. I had never felt more alone on my life. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed, all three days starting to seem like one never ending blur of numbed days. Then Friday. That's when it happened. The head teacher came and got me from third lesson, alongside three support teachers. Eventually I agreed to get up, I agreed to listen to something that would later brake me.

He died.

Cancer.

He knew the whole time. He knew and he didn't tell me, he kept it to himself, afraid it would consume me just as much as it had consumed him. He knew he only had a few weeks left, and he chose to spend them with me, at school. Wherever I go, all I see is him. He's there in school, when I cross the road, when I'm lying in bed, when I'm next to the train station, ready to jump. Ready to give up, and join my beautiful, beautiful boy.

His mum was sat at the station, watching me. I had no idea. She watched as I took one step, then the other. She stood up, and ran to me. If she was a second late, she would have been too late herself. She held me in her arms and sobbed with me, both exhausted with the insufferable pain we felt.

She saved me. She didn't realise he did, but just her being there for me made me feel so much less alone and more like someone cared truly for me. Even when both of us wanted to give up, and let go of all the pain we felt, we knew he was watching down on us, begging us not to. So we decided to stay just a little longer. We chose to live the life he couldn't live, for him. And he was there every step of the way. Every breath.

Opinion?

itsabeautifuldaytosavelive

begged him to stay.. he didn’t listen too what I was saying .. oh how anger doesn’t solve anything and builds nothing yet it can destroy everything.

sydneyespina