UPDATE For 15 yrs Psycho Ex Been Har-ssing Me To Parent Her Love Child, Now She Told Child I'm~ AITA

SECOND UPDATE:
The preliminary hearing on the new RO went well. Emma and Natalie were there, and we discovered that Emma is currently living with her great-grandmother and has a guardian ad litem(court-appointed guardian on legal matters). My lawyer thinks this means whatever was found in Natalie's home situation warranted removing Emma, and potentially severe enough that the great-grandmother only has physical custody and the need to appoint a guardian ad litem.

During the hearing, we went through the whole song and dance, the past RO's, the whole deal. My lawyer turned to Emma's representative and said we were willing to submit to a DNA test and put this to bed. Natalie looked like she was having a conniption at that, and her own lawyer urged her to shush. Emma's representative accepted and we were cheek swabbed in the courthouse. A temporary order is now in place while a second hearing is scheduled in the upcoming weeks for the 'permanent'(two year) order.

The order covers immediate family on both sides, and as I've detailed in the past, Natalie is actually good with following court orders, oddly. We have about four weeks before we have the definitive test results back, but I'm not too worried either way.

PS, there was some people who thought the court couldn't 'use charity as a cudgel' was the father. Well, that's Jim. Haven't talked to Jim in 10 years, but Jim is gay, and hated Natalie. He just also happened to be a 'give the shirt off his back' kind of dude, and as long as I knew him volunteered at a food pantry. His protests came mostly from naivety not self interest.

#aita #parenting #family

Story 1:
UPDATE: AITAH because I call my Psycho Ex's unrelated child my 'Naughter'?
Story 2:
Update: AITAH for telling my daughter to keep her Father’s Day gift to herself because she hid her mother’s affair from me for months?

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[GCRedditStories]

Story 1: UPDATE 7:26
Story 2: 10:53 UPDATE 13:52

[DrownedInExile]

S1: 15 years she's been stalking OP??? And now she's recruited her kid? Absolutely outrageous. I hope OP's finally found the proverbial silver bullet.

[HeliosX]

"she refused the breakup"
You can refuse all you want, but you're still not in a relationship with me 🙄

[randomusername]

"calling her 'naughter' was mocking the situation"
And why isn't he allowed to mock his stalkers?

[brokenmask]

1st story: NTA

Dear god. Natalie has seriously messed up Emma. She put in her mind that she has a father and a whole other family.
And she’ll probably think it’s insulting if op asks for a DNA test once she’s 18

[robertdaniels]

Court Update: AITAH because I call my Psycho Ex's unrelated child my 'Naughter'?

The preliminary hearing on the new RO went well. Emma and Natalie were there, and we discovered that Emma is currently living with her great-grandmother and has a guardian ad litem(court-appointed guardian on legal matters). My lawyer thinks this means whatever was found in Natalie's home situation warranted removing Emma, and potentially severe enough that the great-grandmother only has physical custody and the need to appoint a guardian ad litem.

During the hearing, we went through the whole song and dance, the past RO's, the whole deal. My lawyer turned to Emma's representative and said we were willing to submit to a DNA test and put this to bed. Natalie looked like she was having a conniption at that, and her own lawyer urged her to shush. Emma's representative accepted and we were cheek swabbed in the courthouse. A temporary order is now in place while a second hearing is scheduled in the upcoming weeks for the 'permanent'(two year) order.

The order covers immediate family on both sides, and as I've detailed in the past, Natalie is actually good with following court orders, oddly. We have about four weeks before we have the definitive test results back, but I'm not too worried either way.

PS, there was some people who thought the court couldn't 'use charity as a cudgel' was the father. Well, that's Jim. Haven't talked to Jim in 10 years, but Jim is gay, and hated Natalie. He just also happened to be a 'give the shirt off his back' kind of dude, and as long as I knew him volunteered at a food pantry. His protests came mostly from naivety not self interest.

[daveo]

Imagine an ex boyfriend showing up every 2 years and even going so far as to harass his ex GF's children, I doubt that man would get the same treatment as Natalie

[devegas]

Story 2 post update: that one comment is annoying. “Please don’t poison your daughter against her mom. Her mom wrong YOU, not her.”

Umm no. Her mom wronged both op AND HER OWN CHILD. She got caught by her daughter cheating. She cheated and broke up her daughter’s family. She chose to leave op AND their child behind for her affair partner!!! And then left her daughter to suffer the consequences! And her daughter is 17 now and old enough to know right from wrong.

She’s old enough to process how selfish her mother’s actions were. If the relationship deteriorates, the. It’s because of the cheating parent’s own fault.

[Symphonia]

People who are saying that the daughter is not at fault in the second story are idiots because she did betray her father by covering up her mother is a fair are you saying kids are not allowed to take responsibility for their own actions just because their kids? What a bunch of great advice guys teaching people that kids cannot be held responsible for their actions.

Still I’m glad I seen an update to the story but I still disagree on people saying that the daughter is not at fault for lying and trying to keep away from the affair.

What kind of example are you setting for your kids not to be held responsible and this is wrong and act like there the victims? You guys are pretty much saying adult feelings mean nothing.

[CensorshipVictim]

Story 2 INFO: Reddit needs to make up its mind on what age a person is still concerned a child. I've seen posts where a 12 year old is old enough to know right from wrong, but a 20 year old is still a child who makes mistakes and not held accountable.

Which is it Reddit?

17 years old is old enough to know if mommy is cheating on daddy, that's bad and daddy has a right to know. Also, the OP has a right to be mad at his daughter and wife for this serious betrayal and people guilting him into forgiveness for the daughter when he clearly isn't ready is sickening.

[thatoneguy]

Story 2: NTA. Tf is he supposed to say? People talking about bigger person and no win when he’s in one too. Is he supposed to say no I don’t feel okay and make her feel like ish?

[eiland]

Dude, cease and desist order and the threat of a lawsuit for defamation of character in calling you her child’s father without a paternity test, works wonders.

[justaboringvegetarian]

17 is old enough to know cheating is wrong. If Mom would have blamed her for ruining her marriage, so what? Who cares what a cheater thinks? Daughter was was basically an adult. She should have stepped up and told OP. Just tell Dad not to tell Mom how he found out. Dad could have divorced much sooner and not wasted more time with a cheater. Daughter would not fell guilty now. Win-win.

[obtuse]

Story 2: He was the AH because he said it was ok when it clearly wasn't. However 17 is WAY TOO OLD to be playing these types of games. You absolutely should know right and wrong by 16/17 and should have said something. I'd even be a bit suspicious of a 14/15 year old remaining silent.

[zhukel_marimasko]

OMG all those cheaters in the comments for that later story. "Oh poor little 17 year old couldn't tell dad that mom was cheating!" Sure there were consequences either way, but she chose to side with the cheater.

[AutumnFire]

Story 1: I can totally understand OP's explanation of why a man cannot go to court in his State to demand a paternity test (an abusive male partner chasing down his abused, pregnant partner). It is really a shame for both OP and the poor kid. OP is being stalked and now crazy ex is dragging OP's poor kid into this. His psycho ex's kid is going to be so messed up! I hope CPS removes her from her mom's custody and finds a family member who can give the child a healthy life.

[WereMike]

When has being the "bigger person" ever really helped a situation, earned the respect of others, or salved the wounded person's emotions? I strongly suspect it is an empty platitude meant to silence the person whose been betrayed or wronged, because no one wants to push back against the crazy one in a conflict.

[mizal]

Story 2 they invalidated the hell out of his feelings 16-17 she could've told her dad it's a messed up situation I know but he was being done wrong and hurt

[kenyabrunson]

Story Two: NTA. Those YTAs need to GTFO with that nonsense about daughter "being a kid". She's 17; not seven. She's old enough to know right from wrong. And OP is well within his rights to be angry and disappointed in her.

[Rj-ijko]

Story 1: Umm idk if this is gunna sound harsh…but if i’m Op, i’m making it CRYSTAL clear to the daughter, the family, friends everyone that the child is not mine and this psycho ex has been harassing you for over a decade…