Isolating to Manage Stress is a Trauma Symptom

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There’s an almost universal symptom that people who grew up with trauma will tend to exhibit - and it’s a sense of isolation. Either you feel isolated even with people, or you literally isolate. Shutting people out feels like it's the right, best, most self caring thing you can do sometimes when you're under stress. But if you think that's a good thing, it's probably your trauma talking. Learn why people with Childhood PTSD find socializing so disabling, an what you can do to feel more ease and comfort in social situations.

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I've got lots of info and links for you below. But first, PLEASE READ:

I am not a therapist or physician. My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in-person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client physician or quasi-physician relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.

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[ChronicallyTT]

When COVID happened and everyone lost their minds over isolation, I was like, “Are yous serious? This is a gift from above.”

[IndigoMasquerade]

It's heavy to genuinely connect with people while constantly wondering if they're trying to manipulate and control me, hurt me, if I'm being toxic, if they truly don't actually want to associate with me, if I can trust myself to enforce boundaries, if my emotions are a burden to them...It's a huge task.

[VanessaLily]

I don't like being around people when I feel dysregulated. I feel I can't act normal, and I don't want people to see me like that. : (

[joeysocks]

I’m the guy who goes to a party and plays with the dog rather than meet people

[ModestNeophyte]

I had a very intelligent friend tell me once: "I can't imagine how hard things are for you, because you're essentially an extrovert living as an introvert." in other words, i think he meant "you need healthy connections in your life and you aren't getting them."

[SailBale]

I have never felt lonely by myself. I only ever felt alone when I wasn’t alone. I’ll take solitude over fake, toxic, and drama any day.

[scarletme]

Being around people doesn’t trigger me. Being around people who drain me, have used me, or that have broken my trust is draining. I prefer peace from people who constantly attract drama.

[JuliaNoemiCamacho-sklk]

My trauma talking is like: I'd rather be alone

[prettylou]

To be honest I’d rather be alone and feel safe, than continue to be around people and having my stress level increased. I don’t think anything’s wrong with that.

[homebaseincome]

No way. The peaceful enjoyment of not needing to be around many people is wonderful. I never want to go back.

[stephanied]

For me, it’s not just childhood trauma. But also lifelong trauma, still continuing now in my early 50s. Along with lifetime trauma, I also was born with a severe facial birth defect which affects the whole right side of my face and my front teeth. I’ve been stared at, pointed and whispered about, laughed at, treated much different than “normal” people, bullied - yes even now, mean girls/people never grow out of it, and I just can’t continue going through that everyday of my life. I live a solitary life with my many rescue animals and I work a solitary night shift job as a Pediatric home health nurse.
I do crave connection but I have learned it comes at such a cost to me, and 99% of people aren’t truly safe. So I continue to have a life with my rescue animals and just deal with the isolation.

[kashesan]

I very much relate to this. Another painful part of this feeling is that when I do hang out with folks (at the gym other athletic pursuits) is when I say something stupid (or it seems stupid to me) I beat myself up for days. Its exhausting.

[Doodlefisher]

I can see isolation as a stress release instantaneously!

[Knight-gkok]

Most of my working life was dealing with the public. I've just reached the point where I find people are generally annoying and I'm fed up with all the hypocrites, users, backstabbers, and narcissists (especially narcissists in today's age) and many of the so-called "friends". Those trustworthy and close to me are now all gone and it's just a matter of when it's my turn. Sorry, Anna, I appreciate the advice, but that's just the way it is for me.

[dkhbskdnrr]

I think there is a period in life where you just constantly meet people who are shitty so you need to go hide...I really wanna break out of isolation but seems to me that time hasn't just fully come yet

[natsusou]

"You're meant to be a part of this world" the biggest words I've heard in my life, I think.

[hillbillyherb]

Very timely, I've become an expert isolator. Went to my first social event in 5 years this weekend. The hardest part is definitely committing to go, but then so many triggers, drunk folks with no boundaries, loud noises, multiple conversations at once, trying to eat food to be polite when you wanna puke. But on the other hand, found some amazing support I never saw coming and was truly seen by people who are good and care. Still so hard to get out there...

[danielcowan]

It's not that I'm afraid of people, or hate them. I'm afraid of and hate the overwhelming feelings that get triggered when I'm with them.

[janegerow]

People exhaust me. At 57 i chose peace. I do get out. On my own terms. And that is a beautiful thing. ❤

[stephanie]

Definitely took myself out of the circle of life. Would have loved a family and some friends. But, I managed to be completely alone.