I Almost Quit Writing (an honest conversation)

Why I Almost Quit Writing //I recently had what I'll call a mini-crisis because I was struggling to make things work as a full-time mom and business owner. I needed to take care of my daughter, make YouTube videos, write books, and promote books online, but I couldn't do it all. No matter how hard I tried, something was always slipping through the cracks, so I thought to myself, what if I just chose to stop one of the things. What if I stopped writing my fiction books and just focused on non-fiction which felt easier and sold better because of my YouTube channel? The possibility of quitting my fiction writing sent me down into a long spiral, and in today's video I'm talking you through that thought spiral and why, at the end of it all, I chose not to quit.

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Mandi Lynn published her first novel when she was seventeen. The author of multiple books, Mandi spends her days continuing to write and creating YouTube videos to help other writers achieve their dreams of seeing their books published. Mandi is the owner of Stone Ridge Books, a company that works to help authors bring their books to life through cover design and digital book marketing. She is also the creator of The Book Launch Planner, a planner designed to help authors publish and market their books. When she’s not creating, you can find Mandi exploring her backyard or getting lost in the woods.

#writingadvice #novelwriting #bookwriting

DISCLAIMER: This video and description contain affiliate links. By purchasing a linked product or service, Mandi Lynn will receive a small commission at no additional fee to you.

[wordcharm]

Maybe this is an almost too simple idea, but rather than "quit" writing novels you simply allow yourself to write them at a much slower pace. Let's say you normally write a novel in 6 months, now you give yourself 12 months. Or if realistically, it takes a year to write a novel, now you aim for 24 months. Rather than try to write, I don't know, 2k+ words a day, you write 200 words a day. You just make everything SMALLER and SLOWER. In terms of "income, " you prioritize what works, which is youtube. You can still have your "vlog videos" but just with smaller milestones.

[KatAdVictoriam]

I have a 15 month old, 4 year old, 6 year old, and 16 year old. I have zero social life, and my only hobby is writing, which is something I obsessively work on daily. I am always working so that I can put out my work, and have work that I am proud of. I haven't even begun the enormous work of marketing, building a website, or alternatively, attempting to query. All of the business side is yet to come. When my little ones are older and I can focus on it as a full time job. IT IS HARD. I really feel your struggle. But children do grow up, as people often remind me, also. Haha. I'm glad that you are not giving up and ultimately, perservering and being flexible is all part of both parenting and trying to write and run a business on your own. You seem like an incredibly hard worker! Bless you!

[HollyJoFlora]

I’m an author with a 12-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. Because of their health problems, we have to homeschool. Even with homeschooling and their doctor appointments, writing got easier as my kids got older. About two years ago, I really noticed a change - they were more independent, and I found more time to sit and write. Also, I write children’s novels so I’ve included my kids in my writing process. I write a chapter and then read it to them before bed every night. When I finish reading the chapter, they give me their feedback. It’s so fun! They help me choose character names and let me know their feelings and thoughts on the chapters. We’ve done this process on five books now (two will come out this year), and it’s been a huge help. They cheer me on when they see me writing, and they also leave me alone to write so I can focus. They know they’re about to have my attention and that they get to help me so they’re all in on the process. So author moms of babies and toddlers, be encouraged - it does get easier. And during those years when your children are little and you can’t focus on writing like you used to be able to, don’t worry - that time isn’t “wasted” creatively. I saved up so many story ideas when my children were little that I now have tons of storylines to choose from. For years, I’d just run to my computer or notebook and type/write one or two sentences for every story idea I had. Now, years later, I have PAGES of ideas. Mandi, you’ve got this! I believe your next books (whether they come this year, next year, or ten years from now - like how long it took me) are going to be your best!

[ChristineAlexandraPhD]

Mandi, those of us who have had children will advise you to take a deep breath and just stop. Not stop writing with all that is entailed, but just give yourself time to rest. Children have a way of touching our souls we question our hearts and journeys. Concentrate perhaps on the easiest genres for now, and return to the fiction in a year or so. Once you offload these pressures, you’ll feel less consumed and stressed, and more inclined to focus on where your soul is leading you. This confusion is simply your higher self telling you to rest and enjoy your life as mom! There’s no pressure, other than what you place upon yourself. So, don’t put that energy in this beautiful time. Do one thing and focus on that!

[DeborahPettit]

Yes, you’re right. It’s okay if things are hard. I’m right there. I always say, “The best things in life are the hardest.”

[thewisemattimus]

Thank you for opening up and putting this out. I love writing and my dream was to be an Author and struggled with my insecurities. I finally got the courage to self publish my first book and your videos have helped me every step of the way. But to hear your own uncertainties and your own insecurities gave me more confidence because I realized that everything I was feeling was normal, becoming an even bigger inspiration to me to go for me dream. It gives me a fresh breath of confidence. Again, thank you!

[thepurpleufo]

Mandi, you are amazing, and I know that you are getting this all figured out...and it will all be great.

Part of what is amazing about you is what I discovered when I scrolled down through your list of videos, and found that you have been doing this since you were in high school and in college. And not just "making YouTube videos"...no...you were creating videos at a professional level. Your old videos that I watched showed what a thinker you were (and still are)...a level of thinking and planning and enthusiasm that is rare for someone at that age.

And even more surprising is that you have kept that up through high school, college, early adulthood, getting married, and now having a child...you really have what it takes to be successful. The drive, the intelligence, the enthusiasm, and even "that certain something" that sets you apart from the rest. Very impressive.

No matter what you do or what direction you go in, you are going to be at the top.

[storiesbydesirae]

Thank you for sharing, Mandi. You touched on a lot of points. From having to have conversations with yourself, to realizing you are choosing the hard route but it makes you happy. And discussing not wanting to be a full time mom, but you took the time to consider it. Plus the up and down feelings and realizations. I appreciate hearing this and I'm glad you're enjoying your current romance book you're working on.

[wordcharm]

You ARE good at writing and writing IS your passion. Let's just put that aside. Also, you are a GOOD mother and you are giving your child a lot of your time. However, you cannot give that child ALL of your time. First of all, you will not be as happy and fulfilled without the things that make you you. This means the time you give your child will now be impacted by feelings of depression or sadness. In addition, other people in your life, husband, extended family, should be used as a support system. Especially "dad" - get your husband spending more time with the baby while you work or rest if he's not already contributing.

[MaryaKostakova]

Sending you hugs Mandi! I love all that you do :)

[susanmckenzie]

So glad you've decided to keep doing what you love.

[charlotteboland]

Mother of a 11 month old here and hoping to publish my debut this year. Thank you for sharing your thoughts as a writer/full time mom. Something I wanted to offer since I found it to be somewhat comforting when I struggle with similar worries is to remember that the majority of "here's how to be an author!" type content out there isn't made with mothers in mind. That requires a shift in perspective about what success as an author looks like for you verus what others are saying. Personal example; I simply don't have time to both write my book and do all the things required to pursue it as a career, which was hard to accept at first because being a fulltime author has been my dream job since I was a teen. (I've been a silent watcher of your channel for years now and you've been very inspiring, thank you!) The thing is though, that I'm learning it's okay to slow down and the early years of motherhood is the perfect time to embrace that change of pace. YES KEEP WRITING! The joy you felt reading your own book is such a big sign that it's something worth doing! But perhaps you might need to change your idea of what a successful fiction writer career looks like? Publish your series at your own pace. You likely won't sell as well as the other authors knocking out books rapidly as you mentioned is the norm in romance, but THAT'S OKAY! Loyal readers don't mind waiting (I've got several authors in mind whose next book I'm still eagerly waiting for despite it being a few years) and the awesome thing about good stories is that they don't go bad, heck often they get better with more time to develop. I wish I could say more to encourage you but my little one is getting fussy (wrote this during lunch haha) so main point is just that you are doing a great job and I hope you're able to see that about yourself. :)

[HaveSomePlaid]

You’ve got this! I completely get where you're coming from. I WFH full-time while caring for my toddler and apparently decided I needed to find a time-eating hobby like writing haha. Everyday is a struggle to find the time to do my paid job, be a present mom, and pursue becoming a hobby author. The stress you feel over this as a career and business must be overwhelming. Don’t listen to that negative voice, you are doing great. A coworker of mine with adult kids said "it doesn't get easier, but it does get better". My son is 3 now and I can definitely see how true it is.

[ashkairie.author]

This video is the most relatable video and I appreciate you for it. I haven't published yet, I have been working on the same book for 2 years. I am a homeschool sham of 2 and gosh do I love being here with them but i can't just be a mom either. I understand much of what you said. Thank you for opening your heart.

[destresswithyoga]

Being a full time mom and a writer without childcare has to be the most difficult thing. When I had little ones, I would go to work and had a “break” each day from the kids. I still had a hard time because after work, I was exhausted and couldn’t enjoy my full attention to my little ones. I joined a once a week ceramic class to “refresh” myself. In your case, you are the caregiver and a working mom, who doesn’t have a babysitter. I commend you on what you have done! The great news is that you can fully embrace being with your little one and see the moments of watching her flourish. Each age of your little one will change the balance of every day life. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but it is also the most fulfilling. Don’t worry about the house so much. I can’t be more proud of you for everything you have done e so far in your life! You have done so much, not just writing! Don’t worry about the deadlines for writing. It takes a long time to write a great book. You have the power to publish it at anytime. As children get older, they need more attention and discipline to handle everyday tasks and situations. You are remarkable! You are an incredible mom. Give yourself permission to enjoy life…. Things you enjoy…. Once you have a child, even children, you are the person who is responsible for them until they move out. All great parents go through this. I am so fascinated by all that you continue to accomplish. Dad and I are so proud of you! I remember you making videos even before you had a YouTube channel. I’m glad you posted this as others are going through the same thing. Love, Mom❤❤❤

[C.F.Claire]

Thanks for sharing, Mandi. ❤ As a full time mom of two young ones (4 and 6) who has also always wanted to be a fulltime writer I really appreciate and value the struggle of being both at once. I love all the writer content out there but there is a significantly higher percentage of authortubers who dont have children (which makes sense! 😅) and its so refreshing and affirming to hear an experience much closer to mine. I remember very vividly the first few years with my kids and how absolutely difficult it was to not be able to write or to feel guilty for writing when there's such an expectation that as parents we should give 100% of our attention to our children nearly all the time and certainly not be on *screens* when they are awake, but at the same time writing is such an identity that to not write feels like an unacceptable loss. Your daughter is young for it now but something I ended up trying which helped me a lot was beginning to introduce mini writing slots for myself throughout the day to help my kids get used to the idea that Mom Writes and Its Good For Everyone Because When Mom Gets That Writing Time Then She Says Things Like Hey Who Wants to Go To The Playground or Play Hide and Seek. Five minutes here, ten minutes there...they add up eventually.

At the one year old stage I think I often hung out in the playroom with my laptop and would write *very* slowly as my kids played with/around me. It's not easy to concentrate or make progress but it did help stave off the utter mAdNeSs of not writing at all and building the expectation in my kids that writing time needs to be respected has been lifechanging honestly.

I love when people give advice to mothers of children under two thats like oh get up early or stay up late. I dont know who can do that??? My kids were both solidly into their twos before they slept through the night and I have borderline insomnia anyways, but I feel that's a fairly common experience for moms of those ages. Like we are always freaking tired. But damn dude yeah lets expect ourselves to get up early or stay up late as well as work through any actual break we get when they nap or feel like we aren't trying hard enough. 😮

Hang in there! You're certainly not alone in feeling that way! I swear, this video was like listening to my own struggles five years ago. It does get easier as they get older despite how it feels at the time. ❤

[holagloriayasmin]

This is so relatable. It's like everyone says, "sleep when they sleep, " but those are the moments when we can stop 'momming" and do OUR things. It is hard but it's a matter of trial and error until you find the schedule that works. For me it got "easier" 18months but then we had our second and it went back to square one. Which is why im replyinf weeks later. I wanted to watch this when it dropped, but theres a million other things I have to do. But im glad you're persevering

[AuthorJCCarpenter]

Mandi Lynn I think it is so wonderful that you made this video and was vulnerable enough to share this with us. I wish that someone had made a video like this back when I had my daughter (because I'm a lot older now) because I was spiraling trying to balance everything along with some of the same emotions you're sharing and there was no one who understood how I felt, or if they did, they weren't sharing. You are amazingly talented and the balance will come and it will shift as your daughter grows older but please never give up doing what you do. Take care of yourself!

[jkszootales]

You are encouraging and I also hope to encourage you as well. I work full time, my husband and I are building a BBQ business, raising two kids, and trying to write books. It is hard trying to find time to fit it all in, but you can do it! Cooler months write when you can, and keep producing educational videos to educate others and relate to others who are playing multiple roles!

[maggiet]

Thank you for sharing Mandi-Lynn! One thing to keep in mind is that as writers, a lot of the things we do that are unrelated to writing are actually building up our understandings and experiences that will not only enrich ourselves but also our writing.