The Painful History of Lloyd Webber's Crazy Train Musical

All aboard! As we continue forward on our journey of theater history, today we'll be making a stop to look into the painful spectacle of Starlight Express. Fresh off the success of Cats, Andrew Lloyd Webber would follow it up with a musical about anamorphic trains. What could go wrong?

Special thanks to Robert Torti and Josie Campbell for helping me learn the story more!

Executive Producers 🎭 ($10+ on Patreon):
Defunctland
Riley McMakin
Brent Black
NoxieZeBat
Nate Gardner
Ethan
Julian Dene
LAZTM Productions
Tommy Kindall
Abigail Verzella
John Fogg

Best in the Biz 🎟 ($5+ on Patreon) :
Sarah Hammer
Max Rohtbart
Anon
Clarissa Wee

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Great Research Sources:

"Starlight Express Alumni Podcast" with Peter Liciaga

"Skating the Starlight Express" by Michael Fraley

"The Megamusical" by Jessica Sternfeld

[selectedshipper]

I can’t believe they made a whole musical based on ALW’s Thomas the tank engine fanfiction

[raphaelmarquez]

I want to see a live action adaptation of Starlight Express, using human faces on CG trains, to just to watch the world burn.

[elise]

The absolute dedication of the cast members is a feat of it's own. No matter what you think of the show, you cannot argue that the sheer force of effort of the team is unfuckingbelievable!

[gemmakendall]

Andrew Lloyd Webber: makes one of the most dangerous shows in musical theatre history. Julie Taymor: ‘hold my drink.’

[HeyItsOlive]

"at the end of the day when they would take their skates off, they would find bloody socks!"

Ballet dancers: finally more people to join the club

[MsDaphne]

It's so weird that some people view this musical as a flop when it literally hasn't stopped being performed professionally since 1984!

[ceruleancraftshop]

True story: my dad was the lighting technician on this show on west end for years, and my mum was a massive fan. They met over this show. It holds such a special place in my heart

[flippyfan]

what tf do you mean what went wrong this is glorious

[starsINSPACE]

Somewhere out there, there's an alternate universe where a Starlight Express cartoon movie with merch as successful as the Cars franchise.

[casualcyberguy]

This musical is like a David Bowie song
Without the subtlety

[averyeml]

That Robert Torti guy was just PAINFULLY familiar and after a google I’m blown away to discover he’s the guy who played the dad of Zack and Cody on Suite Life.

[TheMildlyCoolMinocat]

I cannot fathom the amount of cocaine Webber was taking to not just think of this, but to spend 3 years working on it and never hesitate. What a mad lad.

[LegitFUry]

WitW: “He could sing three notes at a time.”

Me: “WTF, no he can’t?”

*singer becomes train*

Me: ”…well I’ll be damned!”

[JamesBerkley]

Fun fact, I have been in 5 productions of STARLIGHT EXPRESS and I have never been injured in the show. I would do another production in a minute!

[jadehamilton]

Storytime: I was in a school production of "Starlight Express" at my special school in 2002 (I played Control in tandem with a girl from the year above) Our music teacher knew Richard Stigoe (because disability arts is a VERY small world) and he came to our public performance of the show and gave a speech before curtain up. He said: "This is the version of Starlight Express I've been waiting to see for 20 years." It turned out that, when ALW suggested the idea of the show to him, Stilgoe said: "Fantastic idea, let's do it with people in wheelchairs!" ALW looked at him like he'd taken leave of his senses and said: "No. We'll do it with people on roller-skates."

[BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

I really love that the jock found out he loved theater more, lol. It's literally the plot of High School Musical.

[rosebyanyname]

“Starlight Express is the perfect gift for the kid who has everything except parents.”
STOP! STOP! HE’S ALREADY DEAD!

[doctorwholover]

I'm obsessed with the concept of this musical - the sheer balls to go "okay, hear me out; what if we put a roller derby team on a broadway stage and made them sing ballads about being trains?!?" 👁👄👁 where does this shit even come from? God, the recesses of his mind 💀

[DrawnByDragonfly]

Man I really wish there was some form of professional recording of this show. It sounds insane.

[scootinand]

Anytime this show gets brought up, the back of my brain is filled sith Peter Griffin, skating around in circles, repeatedly saying "Starlight Express."

Truly. A legacy.