6 Subtle Body Languages That KILL Attraction

Do you fear that your body language might unknowingly be putting a damper on your attraction with your crush, and now you're overthinking about it? Don't worry. We got you covered. In this video, we will be discussing the subtle body languages that could kill attraction.

#attractive #bodylanguage #attraction #relationship

Writer: Brandi Ortiz
Editor: Sidney Thompson
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Maggie Wehler
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong

REFERENCES:

[bluefox_]

My issue with eye contact is that it feels intrusive and intimate. So as much as I know people look for eye contact naturally, it feels deeply uncomfortable because I feel like I'm having my privacy invaded or like I'm invading their privacy oddly enough. I try to make eye contact with people but then my eyes end up bouncing all over the place so it's easier for me to just directly say "I am paying attention, I just have a lot of difficulty with eye contact"

[BrokenHeartedVS]

"Don't be afraid to use your hands to tell a cool story!"

Yeah, that was kinda beaten out of me and is likely why I keep my hands in my pockets. My entire family made fun of me as a child for using my hands to talk... Working on it with my therapist, so I'm happy to hear someone else say the same thing. <3

[stevethomas]

I had a traumatic experience with my father when I was a boy that resulted in me being unable to look people in the eye. Ultimately if I looked someone in the eye I would get yelled at. Fast forward 30 something years, after a stern my eyes are up here, I've become much more comfortable looking people in the eye, yet I still struggle with groups of people.
I also find anxiety to be an overload of emotion and finding a way to dial it down a bit is important. Lately I find that if I ask myself to turn it down my body becomes more relaxed, and the anxiety goes away.

[becker]

Me watching this to learn how to be as unaproachable as possible...

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Where are you looking at 0:33
2). Tech neck 1:32
3). Can stretch supporting muscles 1:59
4). Human fidget spinner 2:39
5). Show me your hands 3:26
6). Frozen 4:31

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[raspiankiado]

0:34 I think a lot of us, had parents, that would force us to look in their eyes when they were mad, and yelling at you.

So, as kids, our brains absorbed that, as, "looking into the eyes is bad, because you are getting talked down to, berated, etc."

And then it developed into, "I should not look at other people in the eyes. Why are you looking in their eyes?!"

[kiki-miee]

1. practice keeping eye contact (how?: practice with TV show characters, people close to you, pets)
2. don‘t hunch, work on your posture (how?: yoga, running, walking, sitting upright)
3. don‘t fidget with your hands (how?: try being aware of your hands)
4. don‘t hide your hands (how?: use your hands to gesture while talking -> builds trust, is more engaging)
5. try not to freeze (how?: identify what is making you uncomfortable/nervous/anxious -> are you really in danger or just nervous?)

Hope this helps 🥰

[Perrypool]

The Sans eye at 2:03 had me laughing for no reason 😭

[Katastrphic_Katicorn]

As somebody on the ASD/ADHD/CPTSD spectrums... Yeah, I don't make eye contact unless I *really trust someone*, and i'm really comfortable in situations. I also have a significant issue with people, men primarily, thinking that i'm flirting with them simply when I have made eye contact.

I'd honestly rather die alone than be constantly mistaken to be flirting or attracted to people.

[gandalfthedank]

I think it's also important to remember that human beings are complex, and just because we have a social standard doesn't make anyone "incorrect" for doing things differently.

Trying to act like the majority or status quo can help, but we really should be learning to understand that everyone is different and learn to accept that some people operate differently in terms of body language specifically, and in turn, putting less value on unnecessary assumptions made through interpreting body language. All it takes generally speaking is understanding the body language tendencies of the person you're talking too which is necessary for most occasions beyond brief encounters anyway(if there's a behavior we don't understand, we should discuss it with them. Doing so should be encouraged rather than making unnecessary assumptions), and I fear that unless properly specified, videos like this can make people anxious and put added pressure to act like others unnecessarily and unfairly.

It should be an equal effort for both parties, and the way this topic is often framed only pressures those who have differing body language rather than those interpreting, and on top of that, it's so often discussed as if it's some kind of defect, when in reality, it's just as natural as any other differences in people. Humans are different.

For a personal example, my partner sometimes has what would be considered atypical body language at times, and once I understood how she really felt during those moments(through conversation and discussion), I learned what those body language signals actually meant for future occasions, and sometimes it was the direct opposite of what I initially thought. Obviously, it's not always necessarily that easy, as sometimes in emotional situations I can forget about what certain things actually mean, but we work together and there's no negative pressure. That's just how she shows her emotions. Additionally though, it's not one sided the other way either: she makes an effort to notice certain behaviors and verbally lets me know while also making an effort to adjust(for example, saying she's listening or adding little "uh huh"s, "yeah"s, or similar contextual responses if she's fidgeting and/or looking away so I don't think she's not paying attention).

We live in a world of oversimplification and I don't want anyone considered atypical to feel like they don't belong or are "wrong" because they very much do belong and aren't "wrong" at all. We are all different, some ways being more noticeable than others, but we are still all human and deserve to be respected as such and not be discriminated against. We need to take some pressure off of others by acknowledging and understanding their differences, rather than just forcing them to assimilate. This is a fundamental concept that applies to literally everything relating to human behavior, and I would hope that further explanation is seen as quite unnecessary in regards for why forcing someone to act in a way unnatural to them unnecessarily is generally harmful, especially in an environment of shame and an unwillingness towards sharing the effort of communication an interpretation.

I do however like that the video brought some awareness towards how and why some tend to show atypical body language/behaviors, and I do think it had quite informative content in general. I just wanted to discuss this point because I didn't necessarily like how it was framed. It definitely was clearly intended to be presented respectfully, but I think more could have been done to specify that these are just behaviors seen as typical with extra emphasis on ensuring viewers don't feel pressure or anxiety regards to behaving "typically", just simply due to the sensitive nature of such a topic. Additionally, I would have liked to see what I discussed here within the video: equal responsibility in effort of understanding atypical behaviors, rather than just "corrections" towards said behaviors. I still acknowledge and appreciate the efforts made towards being respectful and informative within the video; this is just constructive criticism and a message for others to hopefully reduce anxiousness and spread understanding.

[hotpotato]

My biggest problem is definitely freezing. I’m actually surprised by myself, I managed to figure out and begin to address the rest of the problems before this video.

[CACgaming]

I'm autistic, so when I avoid eye contact, it's usually not cause I'm anxious. (Sometimes that's the case) its usually cause I get easily "distracted", I'm still listening and processing your words to make a response, but I'm also looking around, being observant. If anything, that should be a trait to praise, not put down.


Like I said, I'm not ignoring you or getting sidetracked. I'm holding on to most if not every word you say, and i still come up with a response without much delay. I'm just seeing things around me, glancing down at my hands or looking out a window, keeping an eye out on someone acting "sus"

[CharlesChacon]

The mindfulness advice is so key for me in so many areas of my life. It’s helped me process emotions more easily, resolve anxiousness at times, fix stress injuries (pinched nerves in my neck and shoulders as well as sciatica), soothe headaches, and more. I’m just a type of person where I can’t help but let lots of things stress me out, but getting better and better with mindfulness has been making my quality of life so much better these past few years and I will always be a proponent

[aldenmonroe]

Love the "Adventure Time" and "Undertale" references!

[turtlejeepjen]

*when you realize you have ALL issues* 💀

[leonkuwata]

2:04 I love the references in your videos!! I'm happy to see him here, because i was just playing the game💀

[leecha]

You changed my life by educating me on tech neck. It's a wonderful change to see in the mirror, how more confident i look when my head aligns correctly with my spine

[VindicatorsPledge]

Maintained eye contact is a very ethnocentric take. Someplaces eye contact is considered offensive and even antagonistic.

[mentalwellnessdaily]

Body language can provide some insight into what someone may be thinking/feeling at the time, but quite often we tend to misinterpret those nonverbal signs. When someone crosses their arms, they may be closed off. Or maybe they're just cold! As you mention, it's not a foolproof method and the various possibilities as to why someone is acting a certain way should always be considered. It's a tricky area of research!

[tulsalien]

Every time I hear these list of these things, I recognize that almost all of these are traits that autistic people or can have. I must say it’s a little disappointing that the onus seems to usually fall on the person who is behaving “differently” to change their behavior to appear more normal, when people could also be more understanding of difference.
For this Audhd-er it’s simply to exhausting so I gravitate toward understanding people. 🖤