Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan

The irreverent letter the Cossacks wrote to the Ottoman Sultan in 1676.

Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks depicts a supposedly historical tableau, set in 1676, and based on the legend of Cossacks sending a reply to an ultimatum of the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, Mehmed IV. The original reply, has not survived; however, in the 1870s an amateur ethnographer from Yekaterinoslav (today Dnipro), Ya. Novitsky, found a copy made in the 18th century. He gave it to historian Dmytro Yavornytsky (1855–1940), who by chance read it to his guests, among whom was the painter Ilya Repin. Repin became curious about the story and in 1880 started the first of his studies.

Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire, also known as Cossacks of Saporog Are Drafting a Manifesto (Russian: Запорожцы пишут письмо турецкому султану).

According to the story, the Zaporozhian Cossacks (from "beyond the rapids", Ukrainian: za porohamy), inhabiting the lands around the lower Dnieper River in Ukraine, had defeated Ottoman Empire forces in battle. However, Mehmed demanded that the Cossacks submit to Ottoman rule. The Cossacks, led by Ivan Sirko, replied in an uncharacteristic manner: they wrote a letter, replete with insults and profanities. The painting exhibits the Cossacks' pleasure at striving to come up with ever more base vulgarities. During Repin's time, the Cossacks enjoyed great popular sympathy. Repin also admired them: "All that Gogol wrote about them is true! A holy people! No one in the world held so deeply freedom, equality, and fraternity."

Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:

As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians – I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

— Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV

The Cossacks' reply came as a stream of invective and vulgar rhymes:

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.

Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

— Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host

(From Wikipedia)

Movie: Taras Bulba (2009)

... #sickburn

[nomisunrider]

My favorite part is the guy writing the letter who is clearly sober and just smiling quietly in the midst of the chaos, but is writing down everything they're saying. It's like that one quiet kid in class who could get away with murder and knows it.

[G-Mastah-Fash]

The Repin painting of this scene is one of my favorites. The guys on there look so alive and so friendly, you really wanna party with them.

[fotppd]

I pity the poor soul that had to read this to the Sultan.

[Michael-kdho]

Historical accuracy aside, the reply letter in popular culture is entertaining. Paraphrasing the numerous titles of the ruler of the Sublime Porte, the cossacks address the letter to "accursed Sultan, satan and serpent of the world and brother of the Devil, shoe merchant of Stambul, winegrower of greater and lesser Egypt, cook of Babylon and barrel maker of Assyria, pederast of Mecca and perfumer of Medina, grand cobbler of Jerusalem and beggar of Antioch."

[toha]

When you forget to upgrade diplomacy skills

[Norrikan]

In the grand tradition of Zhuge Liang's _"And now I will write him such a letter that he will die."_

[dirckthedork-knight]

Worth noting that all these rhymed insults are ment to mock all these different fancy titles the Sultan gives to himself in his own letter to them (which their letter is ment to be a responce of)

[Tarkus-Ivalice-dweller]

It's always nice to remind yourself that people always had a sense of humour, many want to push history as a horrible thing filled eith grey, humorless people.

[torinoherrera]

Sultan Mehmed's deserved this letter. After having been defeated in battle, the Sultan had the gall to ask the victors to submit to his authority.

[justin]

Roasted so good even to this day we’re still talking about it

[Lea_Kaderova]

Legends says that the Mehmet tried to kill hedgehog with bare ass few times, but was unsucessful and as such, he was never considered as knight in the eyes of cossacks.

[virgiliustancu]

For the Ottoman Empire, the administration of the northern regions of the empire was always problematic because they were forested areas, without roads, where the locals hid and waged a guerrilla war.
Most of the time, the Turks preferred to leave the locals alone in exchange for a tribute.
The movement of the army in these areas was expensive and ineffective from an economic point of view.

[angusyang]

Interesting thing is that Mehmed IV himself was part Ukrainian via his mother Turhan Sultan and his Hurrem Sultan.

[spetsnatzlegion]

People with sweet moustaches roast the ever-living shit out of the Sultan, circa whenever this happened

[A-Forty]

This brought the painting to live and i fricking love it

[immanuellth]

Smoking and laughing with the boys, it's just perfect👌

[ogladaczr.t.]

and because of this, to this day "hardcore" translates to polish as "kozak"

[mr.raslyon]

I wish they would have put "pulled into the world from the womb of a pig" in there.

[RealConstantinusMagnus]

Me and the boys responding to an IRS audit

[BlueMorningStar]

I'm a writer. My career aspirations are that one day I can be half as happy writing anything as the Zaporozhian Cossacks were writing that filthy letter.