Overcoming Negative Thought Patterns to Find Joy

What if we didn’t always have to be as sad and as anxious as we usually are? What if we could more properly appreciate the beauty and the potential that lie all around us? What if we noticed the trees and the interesting faces of strangers? What if we allowed ourselves to connect more deeply with the people we meet? What if we let go of our normal reserve and suspicion and fear? What if we surrendered to loving and to being loved?

FURTHER READING

“Very occasionally, we get a glimpse of what it might be like to be truly happy. Maybe it’s late at night on a summer’s evening; perhaps we’ve just recovered from an illness; we might have been deeply affected by a book or a piece of music and have gone on a walk on our own through the city or the countryside…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Natalia Begaj

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Graeme Probert

[harmenbreedeveld]

I recognize much in this video. I was raised in a household where most emotions were suppressed, and joy was surely among them. I can remember so little laughter, giddiness or joyous foolishness. But I do remember the anger in the house, the feelings of hurt and of being alone.

As an adult, I struggled greatly with the shockwaves from my youth. Depression, anxiety, not knowing myself, desperately seeking for joy, things, something.

Eventually I crashed, and I began a long way with ups and downs. I tried to choose for and listen to myself. I went to therapy, lots of therapy ... and I worked damn hard at it. I chose anti-anxiety medication and I got love and support from friends.

Slowly, I begin to blossom. I do now often find myself genuinely loving the day. The Sun that shines brilliantly. The trees that are so green or now (in the fall) so golden. A quiet street, an adventure in a town nearby. A walk along a beautiful river or a piece of cheese from a farm that I discover.

And I begin to meet new people and new ways of life. I volunteer at movie festivals. I dream more often about the years ahead. I dare more. I love more.

I often feel anxious. Unsure. Darker thoughts may seep in. But I am no longer so afraid of them. I can love them for they are a part of my story. I can listen to them for what they tell me that I need, like a good night's sleep or a day of rest or a hug from myself or a talk with a friend. And as I can welcome these thoughts without being overtaken by them, so I can say them goodbye as they recede.

It is a work in progress. But it is also a work that is progressing.

A warm hug and ❤ to all who recognize themselves in some ways in my story. I love you.

[ggandei]

Hey this video is out at the right time for all the sensible Americans.

[SnorEnMat]

10 days ago, I decided I wanted to be less depressed and anxious, and more happy. To focus less of what I don't have, what doesn't go well and what bad things can happen in the future. And focus more on things that do go well, what I do have, what I can be thankful for, proud off and happy with, and that things can go right in the future. So far, it worked: I'm more happy and satisfied with my life and myself and less anxious. Nothing changed in my life and the world, but only the way I look at it. And that was already very helpful. Of course not all days are good, but that's also fine :)

[markofkv]

I've just had one of the most difficult weeks, with today being even worse than usual. Thank you for uploading this just in time 💝

[terrancekayton]

This hit the nail on the head.
The thing about being joyful is we have to be protective of ourselves as well. Many people are energy leaches and attempt to suck that joy out of us in ways be if unprepared ways that may seem and be okay at first.

And people see joy in us and like to try and make us stumble.

[jomorris]

Turning on the news this morning in the UK and feeling utter despair about the future of humankind made me feel glad to watch this Alain. Thank you for putting it on.

[danny_jarratt]

In a breakthrough moment in therapy - i was reminded, in learning how to care for oneself there becomes a sense of obligation. I know when i sleep right and eat right and have some time to relax, i can be a bit more stable and a bit more happy. But sometimes - life changes and we have to adapt, we dont have time for a morning walk or a meditation or we get a bad nights sleep.

I think i am learning that this obligation to self-kindness, while helpful - can sometimes by necessity be inconsistent. Sometimes when our world is on fire, escaping the flames is more important than meditation.

[sophier]

I love the message of this video I've interpreted it as: your joy comes from your mental attitudes and beliefs, not your external environment and by consciously choosing to view the world, yourself and the future in a more positive way, you can live a truly happy life ❤

[LaFlame-]

It's all about our decisions and what we do. Discipline is about making decisions that are aligned with our intentions. Inspiration may get us started, but it's the habit that keeps us going. Habits stay with us even when we don’t have the inspiration. All of it I grabbed from the book Unveiling Your Hidden Potential

[nabieladrian]

I've seen so many of your videos for years, but truly, at last, this one is for me.

[paintboxplayer]

PERFECTLY TIMED for the aftermath of a significant political election. Many thanks.

[michaelacarr]

Absolutely brilliant. Resonates with my recent realisation that I can choose joy/peace even in the darkest times. External events and other people’s behaviour are largely beyond my control but the choice of what I focus upon or reside in inwardly is totally mine. This is utterly empowering for me. Thank you for this excellent and affirming film. 🌈🐞

[Leo-mrqz]

My mother was an alcoholic. At exactly 5 pm every.single.night. she would start to drink. She would drink until she passed out on the couch. Usually, I had to take the wine glass out of her hand, cover her up, & let her sleep in her own miserable way. She'd pop up at 6 am. and run and teach first graders. This went on all of my formative years.

Now, I have my own children. Both my husband and I abstain from mind alternating substances. I still have a tendency to isolate. I have to make a conscious effort to not give in to the negative feedback loop that runs in my head. My daughters have brought me back to life, in a sense that they show me every day that we all need each other through the good and the bad. Without them, I would've never seen the light. 😇❤

[heartofdawn]

Definitely struggle with leaving the past in the past, especially when I see young people getting to enjoy the youth I never had.

Am slowly learning to find joys in the little things like the birds in the trees, or a nice hot coffee on a rainy day, and it definitely does help

[PaulThronson]

Find your gratitude before you find your bearings

[ddiana]

Stage 4 cancer survivor and fighter here. What I've learn since my diagnosis, almost 3 years ago is that is better to simply not worry too much. I know what anxiety is, I know what fear of death is but I've realized that if we keep our bodies and mind busy with a personal purpose (I have children) it's like pure energy. I don't know if anyone will get this but I now truly believe in Jesus. I almost believe I am a miracle. I also believe in angels like doctors. Life is beautiful ❤ and more peaceful now

[schoolneverteach]

Such an important reminder for self-compassion and compassion for others.

[amandajephson]

De Botton has such a compassion for humanity! ❤

[nathan_gk]

Just when we needed it, thank you School of Life

[Lupine.]

I've lost a family member and am going through a divorce this year. What broke me is my dog passing away last month. It's given me perspective on how mentally stuck most everyone seems to be. I no longer want to have an Identity and "build Character". It's been a form of self-punishment.