UNACCEPTABLE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO SINGLE WOMEN

Asalamualaikum all. On the journey of finding the right spouse for you, you will encounter many and experience much and hear a lot of things. In this video, I discuss a few of the unacceptable things people feel they have the right to tell a single muslim woman and how she can adopt a different mindset t help her cope insha'Allah.

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This video is created with the islamic perspective in mind however, whoever finds it relevant and beneficial is also more than welcome to take lessons from it.

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[salamyall]

I'm 39 and never married. I simply haven't met anyone I'm compatible with in deen, goals, values, etc. The idea that women over 30 who aren't married are somehow "at fault" is no less absurd than pressuring women in their 20s to "hurry up and get married." Allah doesn't work on our arbitrary schedules, and when we try to rush and make it happen, we often end up regretting it. Allah told us that not everyone will get married in this life, however much they might wish to, just like not everyone will have kids. It's their qadr as decreed by Allah and they shouldn't be blamed for it.

Sisters, marriage is not the purpose of our lives, no matter what society says. Your value isn't determined by being married and having kids, your value was given to you by your Creator.

[Halo.H]

Jazakhallah Nafisa, for making this video, you are married Ma'shAllah, yet you are still fighting for us single women.

[Fanaya]

Thank you for this video. Takes me back to when I was single. I was told by many people mostly family that my educational level and career will intimidate men. In addition my decision to wear hijab and dress modestly will make me unattractive. Alhamdulilah, I got married at 32 years. Marriage is not easy, takes A LOT of patience and like you mentioned marriage is not perfect. Some spouses will really test you while others will be the coolness to your eyes. May Allah make it easier for us all.

[ramatouliekonateh]

Some people do it intentionally just to hurt you, especially married sisters

[faizahzubairu]

Assalamualaikum Sister, I just wanted to say that I love your channel for being such a safe space. No clickbait, no drama. Just chill beneficial videos. Allahumma Baarik 👍

[moominpug]

I found this really helpful- Jazakallah hayr. I'm male, 46 and looking for a partner. Events in life have precluded me from entering marriage and I pray that all our duas are granted by the Almighty.

[sadafahmed]

Alhamdulillah good advice. Been there done that so know how tough it is yes agree, age, career, meeting toxic men and biological clock ticking... thus single life can be tough. One had to meet alot of frogs before you meet your one prince. Trust me, I came alot of emotionally unstable mental rubbish men, verbally abusive unstable, not practicing dodgy, promiscuous, no personality whatsoever, stingly, not real men not practicing this I'm glad I didn't end up with them! Bye to trash for good. What you want is out there - don't settle for less!
But yes, people can be insensitive culturally and say inappropriate things, especially the older generation - knew one in particular!
Been married before personally one does look back now at your youth /single years life the carefree and simple days. My advice to single sisters never settle for 'trash or toxic men' trust me it does destroy your life your better of alone - big problem in our culture, they just want to 'settle' girls to psychos, know many in that situation. Never settle for a mentally unstable man or as a 'second wife'. No. Never rush into a marriage either or you will end up marrying trash. Coming into pressure is not a good thing either. In the end you have to be in the right frame of mind to attract /the right man person in the first place. Work on yourself. Want is meant to be is meant to be - your time will come, Qadr Allah. In the marriage is only good if your are in a happy marriage with the suitable person for you. Also know some divorcees....who decided not to settle now, I guess getting married a second time around can be tougher!
However, I do know single sisters who never got married who are practicing, happy had two aunties who never did get married not meant to be! In the end everyone has someone in jannah, as long as your aiming for jannah! Purpose is to worship Allah!

[abokiyanalove]

There isn't any reason I'm not married. If I was married, then maybe I wouldn't have come to Islam. Living in the south I'd probably be married to a guy of different faith. Allah is the head of my life, no man can beat Allah loving me.

[samia]

Nafisa, may Allah bless you and your marriage. It is difficult to be a single Muslima. May Allah make it easy on us to find the right spouse. May I look back and laugh at how dramatic I was, till then I have to honor my feelings and not let others hurt me over not being married. I trust in Allah alone to bring him to me.

[Freedom_for_Palestina]

Sometimes when you interact with people you are reminded that you are not married yet )but you should, as though you do not know about it.

[umikw]

I started watching you a long time ago... mashallah, you gave me strength. Somewhere along the way I gave up hope of marriage and lost all patience...Inna lillahi wa Inna ilaihi rajiun. Today I only have many regrets... Still not married and in my mid thirties... Please make dua for me sisters.
Apologies for venting in public.

[versatileenigma]

Thanks for the encouraging and understanding words. It really takes a toll on one's mental, spiritual and even physical health getting the wrong person into your life. May Allah Bless us with the goodness of righteous spouses in this world and Akhirah.

[behumble]

I am from Uzbekistan, your words relate so much to our culture, when even your close friends are starting to say that you are gonna left alone till your 30s, thank you sister, may Allah help all single muslimah❤

[hadyasan]

Opps great topic sis
I was first married at age 17 which lasted for 3 months, two of wish I had to live with his little sister due to everything 😢we lived together for a month and that was it Subhanallah the questions were abusive and demeaning but Alhamdulillah am now married with two beautiful kids
Prayer and fasting became my everyday normal and continue ❤

[sherrytolani]

I don't know why am teary while watching this😢... I pray to Allah I do tahjjud but the men am meeting mock me for not been married at 32 and they are deceivers they also act in a manner that is unpleasant telling me, I have no choice that if I leave they get a younger lady... I still have fate that I won't marry wrong in Sha Allah.
Thank you for this Nofisah❤️

[muritalaakande]

More wisdom and knowledge to you nafisat.
Sigles should not give a room for anyone to make them feel that their way of life is odd, as long as they are striving to fulfill the half of their faith which is marriage rather than being of the view that marriage is optional.
But we shouldn't be desperate about it and we should be prayerful.

[TheAYESHAUZMA]

I never click this marriages topic videos, but when you mentioned in specially for SINGLES . I just clicked it but not because it motivates me to marry.. Good jokes "Marry my Husband" BTW from teenage i have migraines and it was nearly for 10 years soooo never thought of marriage because i was not healthy due to migraine, and i thought i might go away from Duniya in young age. ALLAHAMDULILLAH I am healthy now but still never feel that " why i am not married yet" . I am really happy ALLAH SWT is taking care of my health. Even i am not married am very much happy. ALLAHAMDULILLAH. Its good topic you made this video " how to speak to Singles". From India Walyekum Assalam Waramathullahi Wabarakatahu. Its soothes me when i see your videos.

[daisylilies]

Hi sister 💕
Thank you for the video.what people say hurts especially from non muslims Especially those with boyfriends they pick at you for why you don’t have anyone in your life.I’m a picky person and I can’t change it Inchallah I’m waiting for the right Muslim man.I had many disappointments in my life unfortunately.. but I’m still holding on 🙏🏻
may Allah bless you and your family 💓

[MissUnderstood]

My SIL: Have you thought about getting married, it will make things easier for your mum
Also SIL to the other SIL about me: she will never get married

This SIL herself had been married to my brother for almost 10 years before she had her forst child and I never once said she will never have children. Some people are just evil, love to backbite and don't realise their words just like nazr can impact people. Why not say in sha Allah she will get married or its in Allah's hands.

[norinbegum]

This just came at the perfect time Alhamdulillah May Allah reward you Ameen