50/50 by Garfunkel and Oates

A feminist love song.

LYRICS

VERSE ONE:
Close your eyes, make a wish, picture your perfect woman
Now open your eyes and forget about her cause I’m here and I’m not it
And before we go any further
There’s a few things I’d like to admit

I’m a self-absorbed workaholic
My mind is always divided
My schedule is erratic, just like my thoughts
I’m easily depressed or overly excited whoo!

I can’t do anything around the house
If you want food you gotta cook it yourself
And if we stop having sex, I will leave
I have friends that give me everything else

I’ve got goals and dreams and aspirations
I’ve got shit to do
I’m not gonna change all my plans
Just to be with you

Yeah we’re a perfect couple
If you’re totally comfortable being alone
We’ll always be together
If it’s cool that I’m never home

If you like overcompensation for boundless insecurity
This is where it’s at
And if you notice I’ve been talking about myself this whole time
Well, get ready for more of that

And I’m like look at me look at me watch me watch me listen to me listen to this what do you think tell me the truth compliments only please
Oh man you really get me

CHORUS:
I’m gonna make your dreams come true
As long as they don’t interfere with mine
I’ll always be here for you
For methodically allotted amounts of time
I’ll be there to hold your hand
If I happen to be in town
And any time you need me
There’s a 50/50 chance I’ll be around

I know this all sounds bad
But you know what else is true
Every word that I just said
Could have also been describing you
Yes every word that I just said
Could have also been describing you

VERSE TWO:
You just don’t feel don’t feel bad about it
It’s never even occurred to you
To not go after all the things
You’ve ever wanted to

You weren’t subconsciously conditioned
To give up your dreams for me
Or that loved and ambitious
Were mutually exclusive things to be

It probably didn’t cross your mind
That your mom had goals too
That had nothing to do with getting married
And nothing to do with having you

Can we stop pretending
That it isn’t kind of sad
That your mom never pursued anything
With the same intensity as your dad

And right now you’re thinking
Not my mom, that was her decision
Okay, sure, but all our moms
That’s what they all envisioned
So therefore…

CHORUS

CODA:
Look I’ll meet you halfway there
But I can’t give you more than that
And know it’s not as sweet of a deal
As every man ever before you had

All I want is 50/50
All I want is half
And if those numbers seem off to you
Why?

It doesn’t mean I won’t be your partner
It doesn’t mean I won’t come through
It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person
It just means I’m the same as you

So if you’re looking for an equal you found it
But if want someone better than you, try again
Cause I only have what it takes to be man
I’ve never had what it takes to be a woman

[tomnanD]

Few people write lyrics like these two. Super talents.

[RaptorRocka]

I made the mistake of showing my mom this song. She wasn’t mad but we just both sat in silence for a while. It was just sad I guess.

[AngelaIshere]

"No Kate, none of the moms." is basically always on loop in my head

[griffinbaker]

Finding this song a few years ago seriously changed the way I view my relationships with women and feminism. It's not inaccurate to say this song changed my life. Thank you.

[thekneesbee]

Unironically when I first heard this song it made me examine how much I was giving in relationships and start being a lot better with boundaries because I realized I'm not being selfish I'm just asking for half. I'm just asking to be treated like a person instead of a fantasy idea of a person

[robertwarden]

My mom did have to delay her aspirations unfortunately. But she did go back to school and pursued a nursing career as my father stayed home and helped take care of us kids, with some assistance from my older siblings, and my Mom now has her bachelor's degree in Nursing from Clemson University. I'm proud of her and her accomplishments and I'm glad my Dad was "woke" and supportive of my Mom.

[Thesappysongwriter]

This is how I have always felt about relationships. One person should never hold the other back. It should be comprise and working with eachother to reach individual goals together without one getting left behind.

[john]

The harmony on such a fast song that varies in pace is super impressive

[willvader]

This video genuinely and legitimately changed my perspective without making me angry or bitter, good job y’all

[frojoe]

Damn, roasting a whole generation. I'll take 50/50

[kristinwoebke]

I think this song just helped me unravel decades of pondering about bad relationships

[LorenaAbreu]

“ I have friends that can give me everything else “ *looks at each other* lmaooo

[highlycalm]

"Yes every word that I just said
Could have also been describing you"

I SCREAMED, Slayyyy

[williamduffy]

These two Ladies are not only hilarious but also very, very talented. 🥳😄🥰

[aislingilayne]

This is totally beyond just a humorous song. This is, like, rhetorically incredibly strong. This is art.

[mars-hfkd]

“NO KATE- none of the moms...” I’m dead, this is amazing

[skification]

You weren’t subconsciously conditioned
To give up your dreams for me
Or that loved and ambitious
Were mutually exclusive things to be

This is so well put and sincere that I'm stunned you guys could make a catchy upbeat song about it. But you guys keep doing it over and over. It's incredible, please keep it up :)

[hjelsethak]

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up because we both knew we were heading down separate paths. She wanted to travel the world and I wanted to finish my apprenticeship to become an electrician. We all have things we want in life and sometimes in relationships it's just bad timing, missed connections; different paths that converge for a time and then split apart. That is sad, yes, but appreciate the fact that in our day and age, you don't have to settle just because someone expects you to. Loved your song, gals. I hope you can achieve whatever it is that you want in life. ~Peace

[colinbraddock]

Just as I was getting ready to laugh, instead I found myself angrily agreeing.

[Seattleintherain]

The two of you are the cleverest act going! What you do takes smarts, talent, and a bloody lot of work. You’re my favorite American duo ever, and at 80, darling, I’ve seen most of ‘em. Great success to you both. Cheers!