How To Combine Finances When One Person Earns More

[Faben]

We combined our finances since day one of our 21 year marriage, and wouldn’t have it any other way. Doing life together includes finances.

[quietferocity]

Honestly, I don't understand how a marriage with split finances is even a marriage. It's roommates with benefits.

[keishrich]

My husband and I have always chosen option 2.

[Lillith.]

There's a ton that goes into it. If one is financially irresponsible, I wouldn't merge. That's only more money the irresponsible one can waste. If there are children, there cannot be separate finances. Children cost money, and those "little" things the one person gets for them quickly add up and you breed resentment.

[marykaitlynclark-joseph]

Good one to post after Geena & James, since that was a clear example where they should combine finances.

[Violinstef]

We each kept a separate pre-marriage account but combined all of our finances going forward. The individual accounts give us peace of mind, and the combined account makes life easier.

[IMBLESSED-oedl]

We eack keep 20 to 25% for personal spending n rest goes into to the household.

[theoneders]

I do 50% split to keep it simple and still each person manages their own money and spends their own. The problem with proportional is, it makes the person earning less too comfortable cause they'll feel like they'll be fine and not need to contribute/earn more or manage their money better. I made this mistake with my girlfriend, spent years being the one having to stress about self-improvement and working longer hours, trying to earn promotions at my job because she was just fine and dandy working her 20 hours a week at much less pay barely contributing anything. I recently told her she's going to have to carry her weight and I am done picking up her slack, now she's starting to realize that she actually should be earning more or doing better at budgeting her money. People like that MUST be placed in an uncomfortable position, otherwise they'll keep riding that cushy wave to the end. I shouldn't have to literally pay more of the bills, just because I put effort into self-improvement .

[Doc-fwg]

Combining it all makes the most sense.

[mustafaaydntepe]

We have combined finances. It totally depends on how much you trust the other person and how much are open to the other person. She has full access to my accounts, I have full access to her accounts. All we earn is ours. It is a simple and powerful way to manage the money. It makes our relationship more powerful.

[rjatn]

Why didn’t you give option 2 advise to your 10x earning couple?! Rather than go after the poor musician chap to stress over not earning enough when the household income was absolutely huge?!

[Gioli]

I remember you and your wife did percentages, the way you are changing your tune and liking combining completely is much better. Hope you do it too. Marriage is about being a team and being fully in. Have side accounts for each partner for guilt free spending. That’s what we do. Works great.

[lanadecker]

My husband and I both contribute half of our income to household. It allows us to handle raises and bad times better but also have independence financially

[kingsofbattlegaming]

I’ve always respected your view on combining finances in marriage. I know in this day and age it doesn’t seem like the progressive thing to do. And I may be criticized for saying this, but I believe that combining finances into one is one of the major points of marriage, because the couple becomes one unit no longer to separate individuals, but one family.

[jeztravel]

That is what my wife and I are doing. We combine our income together, no hers and mine. We have a single account and both our incomes go to that account. I am the one managing our money even though for the first 10 years of marriage she was making 6x more than me. But now since my business is doing so much better it is reversed. I am making more than her but we still put our money in the same account. This will only work if you trust each other with money.

[brandondelgado]

Lucky those that have spouses that see this making sense and not one that stays with “my money, our money… don’t touch my money”

[FunStuffBuddy]

COMBINE IT ALL. Hands down. Except in certain circumstances like remarried and older and already have tons of assets going into the marriage

[mmp]

Option 2 is more simplified and better if both parties are on the same page and communicate well. 👍🏼

[sihr]

Grew up under the premise of ‘being independent means doing everything alone’. Although not combining finances with my ex-husband was not the reason for our divorce I’m pretty sure this contributed to our distancing…How to truly feel like a couple when each one is pursuing their own thing?

[bmcla]

We just combined it all, way more simple to deal with.