When Your Partner Tries to Stop you Growing

Our partners are usually the sources of encouragement and development, but there are times when - for a variety of their reasons - they would prefer for us not to grow, not to develop, not to change. We should explore the fears that lead them to stop us becoming who we are.

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Nick Hilditch

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[nathandear]

I've notice this doesn't just happen to romantic partners but also with family and close friends.

[jenohogan]

Oh snap, I've kind of done this to certain friends.. Time to stop that. I'm glad I saw this. This is really good, not for just romantic relationships, but all relationships.

[Inerize]

*If a relationship is not interdependent - which means both are helping each other grow - maybe it's time to stop. Healthy relationships are based on trust and a willingness to see the other grow and become their best self.*

[_..-.._..-.._]

Like ships in the night, some people are only meant to spend a short amount of time together on their journeys, but when you find an island, you’re home.

[zedex]

"no dear I don't want you and me to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to grow and change and learn and become new people and I want to share that all with the person you become along the way"

One of the sweetest things I've ever said to a person. Bummer she only listened to the first sentence of anything I said.

[wvvwkx]

Wow that's totally my mom, always bringing up ideals or habits I had when I was 8 and still thinking I'm the same person, despite me being completely different and showing it.
Pretty irritating; luckily my partner doesn't do the same

[りなりな-gp]

If you aren’t growing with your partner then what are you doing?

[rascallyrabbit]

I've been single 53yrs still happy; I'm alone but not lonely. Good luck to you couples too.

[JaneyImaaniEmotionalAwareness]

There is nothing scarier than not growing 😬

[yaminijaswal]

Set them free and let them become their best selves.

[ossen]

*When your partner tries to stop you from growing, it means that you are developing in different paths and that the map that your values was drawn on, is getting remodelled. That's the circle of life, people come and people go. We always attract what we become and repel those who stop mirroring us. Embrace it and continue your journey to meet people who have same goals in life.*

[fraggzbN]

I live alone and only have few but therefor very good friends. Never felt more freedom and happiness.

[HumansOfVR]

*we should strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too*

[debbiemoore]

Learnt the hard way most people will see you as you were and no matter what you do it makes no difference to a fixed mindset as they are incapable of change they think the same of everybody else

[_..-.._..-.._]

My wife hates that I read self help books, funnily enough, she hated my anger and childhood abandonment issues too, and now I’ve worked through both and she says I’m not the same person…well duh! I’m proud of not being an angry guy all the time and bitching about everything. If I suddenly like coconut, she says “no you don’t” as if people can’t change, or that she believes I would lie and eat coconut just to mess with her! Maybe she knows that eventually I’ll realize I’ve outgrown her, she does have self esteem issues, so I guess I’ve answered my own question 🤷🏼‍♂️

[beth-rgbm]

I just got rid of a partner last month who was trying to impede my healing from a broken back!
Best decision I've made this year!

[majesticdarkhorse]

Growth is constant and the best relationships are those in which both partners understand each other & embrace mutual growth in every aspect! 💪

[Bea-fcsn]

I was in a three year relationship that ended last year, and I’ve been looking at it carefully with hindsight. I first thought that it became toxic due to distance and deep seated jealousy, but now I see it’s also cause I was growing, as was she, and we both had this idea of who we once were and didn’t want to change that. Since our breakup we’ve both grown as people, and I’m now much happier with who I am, and who I have become.

Thank you School of Life for your insightful videos.

[coachbahman]

*Sometimes partners are selfish.. they outgrow their partner and don't motivate them to grow with them..*

[MelissaHogwood]

This isn't so bad. Just tell the person you're trying something new.
They're just happy to think they know you.