Connie's FULL recovery story from CFS & CIRS - and why grit is overrated

Connie was the person who inspired me that recovery was possible. Connie shares her full recovery story from CFS, CIRS, and mold-illness through brain retraining and explains why grit is overrated. Starts at 0:23. TIMESTAMPS below.

OVERVIEW:
Dr. Connie Boczarksi was a master at pushing through, until her body said no more. Connie had moderate Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and severe Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome for 5+ years, though had health issues bubbling under the surface for longer. Her key symptoms included brain fog, debilitating fatigue, crashes, light sensitivity, mold sensitivity, nausea, dizziness, and more.

Connie was the recovery story I watched on the DNRS website that convinced me I could heal by retraining my brain, since our stories had so many overlaps. She shares her authentic experience about brain retraining and answers questions like “do you need to move out of a moldy place to heal?” [Disclaimer: Nothing we share is medical advice. We're just sharing our own stories and observations.]

We talk about the “achiever” culture in brain retraining, and why that isn’t always a good thing. Connie shares brilliant wisdom on how resilience is more important than grit, which I think could be a TED talk.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:23 Intro and full circle moment
1:16 Connie’s purpose for sharing her story
1:47 Connie’s life before she was struck down with CFS and CIRS
3:05 Onset
4:30 Connie describes her former job as a chiropractor
5:13 Connie moves into an even moldier office, and this happens
6:00 Connie describes her most debilitating symptoms; which symptoms had workarounds and which didn’t
7:20 Do I shower or do I eat?
7:43 After her tipping point, how she still tried to go to the gym. The phone call she gets from her doctor on a Sunday, and what the biggest lab in the US said.
10:03 Why her functional doctor said she needed someone else
10:52 Things took a sharp turn – seeing a chronic fatigue MD who tried the kill approach.
11:37 Connie’s big realization about the kill approach.
12:04 How other specialists in the traditional medical system gave her PTSD
12:55 Finally finding a doctor who knew about mold
14:04 What was validating about CIRS doctor, but what was the challenge
15:31 Do people need to get out of the mold? Our reflections, not medical advice.
18:11 Epigentics – and PhotoShop adventures with her friend Mark
18:58 Walking on eggshells
21:07 Rock bottoms
22:30 Why I am mad about medical extremes!
23:49 Diet changes?
24:17 Why she lied to her CIRS doctor about not having MCAS symptoms
26:27 How Connie found the modality that worked for her – and what guy bought it for her
28:18 Reading the book first
29:32 What part of this new modality made sense to her?
30:45 Connie’s experience with the DNRS DVDs (it’s only available online now). Getting back into a familiar pattern. What symptom immediately went away.
32:20 Connie describes ebbs and flows of brain retraining
33:07 What was Connie’s favorite aspect of DNRS – Connie had this real-talk answer!
34:32 Nuance between pushing through and doing the work. Doing the full hour?
37:02 Learning to be gentler on herself. There is a funny quote in here.
38:44 Why how measuring success through symptoms and then through achieving can have drawbacks
40:23 Grit vs resilience
42:23 We reflect on Phil Murray interview who said this.
44:19 Timeline of how long she was sick + how long it took to recover
48:01 Connie’s advice about people who are anxious about being anxious once they realize it’s the nervous system, based on a recent YouTube comment
49:23 What inspired Connie to change her career
50:13 How she's helping people now beyond just brain retraining. And how she's helping friends and family get on board.
53:04 Common misunderstandings people have when doing a brain retraining program
55:46 Connie’s views about the positivity approach in some BR programs
59:34 How do you retrain on mold?
1:01:57 Connie’s life now. While healthy and well she still has to remind herself THIS.
1:02:51 Connie weekend volunteering to hike with rescue dogs
1:03:48 How to find Connie
1:04:12 Connie’s final words of wisdom
1:04:48 Goodbyes – what about Connie’s testimonial helped me keep going
1:06:51 Pictures of rescue dogs Connie took on hikes and now with their forever homes
1:07:23 Outtake

Other video mentioned in this chat:

DNRS recovery stories:

*Independent Programs Guide:*
Lindsay Vine (host of the Post-Viral Podcast) and I (Liz) published a 190 page guide containing an in-depth analysis of 25 Lifestyle & Nervous System Regulation programs. Get your copy here:

[JanaWellbourn-ssps]

DNSR is great. I’m 3 weeks in … also a moldy. Thank you Connie for your story. Also thank you Liz

[lisabennett]

OH MY GOSH!! Thank you for saying that Connie!! I have never looked forward to doing the practice either! I thought it was only me!! That is SO DARN helpful for me!!! Thank you!!!

[lisabennett]

This is excellent and I'm not even through it yet! The self-compassion part. The "achieving" part. So much good information that you do not get from DNRS. One of the best interviews on this!

[Mamoo]

I’m still doing dnrs. It’s been two years. I have gotten a little better so I k ow it works but the visualizations everyday for an hour starts getting on my nerves. I imagine if I was more consistent I would be a lot further along by now.
Great interview!
Thanks

[aynapaisley]

I just started practicing my full rounds and I noticed that the feeling of serenity and happiness that I exercise during visualizations tend to make me teary. This is also true in real life - the moments of great satisfaction and happiness even when very low key coming from mundane things can make me tear up from overflow of feelings and gratitude. Does it mean I'm doing something wrong? It fills me with happiness and joy, I'm not sad or mourning. But should I stop trying to feel it on such great level and create more calm and leveled visualizations?

[spruceysarah]

Loved this interview so much! Such a great point about learning to stay regulated in the presence of stress and negative emotions -- just like we eventually want to eat all the foods and smell all the flowers again, we also want to be able to have all the emotions without symptoms.

[homemakersheart]

Thank you Liz for this interview, you do such a great job doing this. I am at 7 mths and have had that focus of 'what did I achieve vs how am I doing this in a more regulated state'.

The resilience piece was huge for me, pushing & rushing are such pests aren't they?!

Connie, after 7mths of training, and 18 yrs of CFS, I have had no idea of what my "goal" was or what I wanted to "do". So many folks talk about travel, I'm not like that. I love my home and garden, some crafts and friends and church. It was your description that opened my eyes to - my goal can be "to be able to do my day to day activities with ease and grace and out of a choice (sprinkled with self compassion through my day)" rather than I want to see the world!

I've never been that person, but all the years of "managing" I have had trouble dreaming up something. Now, with Grace and Connie's story I can see I can LOVE my life and not be afraid to do things in my day to day life. What a shift! Hugs to you both and a warm cup of tea.
PS I have to rewatch the last 20 min a few times, there was so much for me in that, I took notes on 3x5 cards of what it brought up for me.

[synnevashaustveit]

This is SO great with this honest DNRS/neuroplasticity talk! Thank you! (And Connies story was also the reason I chose DNRS 🌞) much light to you beautiful souls 🤗

[HealwithLiz]

Hi everyone, the timestamps are now up! Please leave any comments if you found it resonated! Sending good vibes.

[justbecauseican]

Thank you liz for all of the effort. Interview like these give me hope in times where i feel desperate. I will recover for me and my little boy.

[RaelanAgle]

So incredible!! Both Liz and Connie share such inspiring insights. I complete agree that there’s hope for everyone ❤

[lynnlasak]

Yessss! Restorative yoga has been so helpful during my journey with brain training.

[gailivey]

I have CIRS, and a friend recommended DNRS while I'm going through treatment. I'm a little concerned about spending that kind of money considering what I'm going through with remediating my house. I've always been very good at visualizing. I go to sleep at night writing stories and movies in my head. I used to close my eyes and actually feel like I was riding a horse when I was a horse trainer for a living. So, I think DNRS would really work well for me. I just have to find a way to add that into the expenses I'm going through when I'm not working hardly at all and watching the mold company eat my savings.

[nazishkalaniofficial]

Oh my God! Thank you so much liz. Whenever I see a video of yours I feel this light of hope inside of me. And that smile of yours makes me smile. Thanks to both of you for sharing. ❤

[honorburza]

Great interview 👏

I also don’t watch the news for the past several years probably since my first child was born, I didn’t want that in the house.

[lynnlasak]

Thank you, I’m currently doing brain retraining and I’ve had a couple setbacks, that can be bit scary and discouraging, so thank you for saying all of that. It is hard work and dedication

[hugbloom]

Thanks for this interview! You are both inspiring and a ray of light when the way gets foggy. Plenty of things that Connie spoke about resonated with me and felt reinforcing of what works for me. Liz you asked some great questions. It gave me a giggle hearing hiw going to the gym was going to heal you Connie 😂 and I did a similar thing before finding out what was going on with my body, by taking really long walks!
I appreciate the interview being mainly about mould illness and getting into some of the details, because it's the next piece of my puzzle to work on. I've healed about 70% from ME (😄) while living in a high mould exposure house amazingly, so i think I'm doing ok in terms of the stress response, but want to remove a lot of that mould exposure (especially given very toxic mould species). faced with huge costs to get proper remediation done on the house. Did you notice a difference once the remediation was done in your case Connie? Liz it sounds like you moved house? I guess I'd just find it helpful to hear what this is like for other people. Thanks again for this video interview legends ❤

[Im_Bennythebooman]

Does anyone have a link for a recovery story from a mom with multiple small children and zero family help ? I’ve been watching recovery stories for years and have yet to see one.

[jamieessex]

19 years a CIRS patient. 10 years OF TREATMENT WITH A CIRS DOCTOR. bought DNRS 2 years ago. But im frozen completely alone . Is this common? I just wanna die. What to not do? What to do?

[heatherrhodge]

I've watched half of this so far & already, SO MANY things she described are identical to my experience.
The way (after getting to the point where you KNOW, "something HAS to be medically wrong with me").. That looking back, I also realized I'd been sick for as far back as i can remember.. Even as a young teen, I never understood why i couldn't seem to keep up with my friends..i didn't know why my energy levels were lower.
The years and years of constant stress preceeding the point when I realized i felt too bad for there not to be a physical medical issue causing my issues.

The having no energy to keep any friends.. Trying all sorts of supplements.. Having EVERY Dr treat me like I'm an idiot &/or blame it on depression. Also only ordering tests that weren't helpful & all came bk normal. None of my Drs have acknowledged the severity of my symptoms or how disabling they've honestly been and continue to be.
After i told my current Dr, I believe I'm suffering from CIRS & tried explaining it to him, he insisted there's no way I've got inflammation in my body, cuz he's given me every test there is for inflammation & even autoimmunity & everything was normal. I proceeded to tell him some of the markers that needed to be tested for CIRS & he said he'd never even heard of some of em and that others were "just proteins" that "couldnt tell you anything"..
I could keep on about the similar experiences, but I'm exausted alrdy from typing.

The differences...ive been sick so long & to the point where there's no possible way i could do any kind of work, I can't afford to see a functional medicine Dr. I don't have family that's supportive.. Not for emotional support or financial support. They all think I'm crazy and just lazy, even after I've read them stuff about the illness. I have no one i can move in with to get outta this moldy environment.

I see no light at the end of the tunnel. My plan is to print a research study article by Shoemaker & take it to my next appt.. It's one with all the tests they gave study participants, further broken down into which ones showed no differences in patients and controls, then the tests that did show differences. I'm also gonna print the basic info about cirs & hope 2 God he'll at least order some appropriate tests. If he does, i have no doubt my results will show how sick i am, then I need him to either write me an Rx for binders, or help me get disability. Hopefully both. After that, I'd (at some point) be able to feel a little better, enough to get a job and pay to see a shoemaker Dr, or if i cld get disability, then save my money and finally see a shoemaker Dr.

I've taken the VCS test and failed. I've also got nearly all the symptoms... Not just the clusters, but individual symptoms. My entire neighborhood is VISIBLY moldy! I've never seen any place even close to as nasty as the houses look around here (as far as being just COVERED in mold!!

Ive been tempted to try calling the EPA to come check it out, cuz it's so bad and i can't afford to buy even basic essentials, much less pay a mold specialist to look into this area or order the environionomics tests. I can't even buy razors 2 shave, a toothbrush, anything!!
My mom's too busy babying my narcissistic brother, 18yrs older than me, who moved here to use her til she dies. She's terrified of him, so won't speak up, stand up for herself or disagree with him in any way. He literally keeps her debit card and spends whatever little she has left every mt after paying bills. Since he's been here, my mental health is much worse & my mom's health has steadily declined. She's 84 now & IDK how much longer she'll be around.. So i really gotta find a Dr to help ASAP, or I'll end up on the street with my young daughter in foster care or something.

Since i mentioned my bro, I might as well add... The years and years of stress i spoke of earlier.. Was thx 2 him.
I trusted him back in 2009, when i planned on filing bankruptcy due to medical bills with no ins. He convinced me that in court they could force me to sell my car & buy a cheaper one & offered to let me put my car in his name, so that didn't happen.

Well, i trusted him at the time & had no clue of his narcissistic tendencies, so I put my car in his name the day i went and paid cash for it (following my previous car being totalled). Not even 3 mts later, he took over the car and left me with no transportation at all. I'd just had to quit my job as a hairstylist due to injuries from a wreck and move back in with my parents. I put every penny i had into that car, so i was broke with messed up credit. After he tore my car up, my parents let him "borrow" their car. Needless to say, he never gave it bk. All my dad rly wanted from him was for him to take them to church on Sundays, but he was too busy playing golf every Sunday. My dad said he'd prob never get to go to church again in his life. He passed away in 2016 & he was right, he hadbt been taken to church once.
I HATE my brother, esp now, having to watch him take advantage of my mom like he does. She literally goes behind him & washes his dishes, bc he won't clean up after himself or even take out the trash!!

I want to be able to get my daughter and i outta here so bad! I believe she's suffering from CIRS already. I know she IS depressed for sure. She cries at least once a wk bc she's so unhappy being stuck here with no vehicle.
Oh yeah, he sold my dad's car b4 he moved here. He had a van when he moved in, but a month afterwards, he hit something and popped a tire. He never bothered getting it fixed & has left the van sitting out there, not paying taxes on it or even considering getting it bk on the road for 4yrs or more.