How Long Can You Survive In Super Mario 64?

Raking every level in Super Mario 64 Based on how easy they are to live in during a survival scenario.

Super Mario 64 for the Nintendo 64 And Nintendo DS and I guess the Gamecube, Wii, Wii U, and Switch too technically, sees Mario forced to go to go his girlfriend's house and confront the guy she plays tennis with.

We don't really care about that though. We just want to see how well your average human could survive if they were just dropped into Bomb-omb Battlefield randomly with no perpetration ahead of time.

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[grfrjiglstan]

All these “die of dehydration” scenarios are eminently more survivable if you just assume Goombas can be milked.

[jr-]

Fun fact: a Nintendo employee responded to a fan letter about living in Peach’s Castle by explaining that she has two castles: one for living in and one just to store her art. Peach is Marie Antoinette-maxing.

[rylanpeepee]

What if you sun dried the goombas to make goomba jerky

[paperip]

Goombas having teeth implies a skeleton - probably made out of chitin rather than bone. So you're probavly looking at only around 70-80% of the goomba's volume being edible (although chitin could be useful for making some basic tools)

HOWEVER, if we're operating off the assumption that the goomba's flesh is otherwise identical to shitake mushrooms, thats really good news. Shitake mushrooms are extremely easy to preserve with sun-drying, so as long as you can find a sunny spot free of dirt, you can massively minimize any loss due to rot.

[EvPath]

I know a way to live longer off of Goombas. You base your calculations on how long it would take to a Goomba to spoil after being killed... but you can harvest Goomba flesh without killing them. You could dig a hole in the ground or build a small fence area with the trees and trap a goomba before cutting off a small amount of it for each meal while keeping it alive. You would have to figure out which parts of the goomba are safe to cut off without killing it, I would go for the feet and parts of the head first. As they are fungus, they might have the ability to grow back limbs (feet) and could potentially be infinitely farmed. Fungus have to be fed, but that can be done with decomposing plants and even other animals, so if goombas are a super food you could use them to supplement your diet even when other food is available.

[LamarjorieQueen]

Remember: fungi are decomposers. They do NOT grow just like plants, and are technically closer to animals. With that being said…what on earth is keeping these things alive?! Honestly, the idea that this just takes place on some boiling isles-type giant corpse horrifying XD

[GuidingLightAngel]

There's a cheeky little cheat you can pull off in regular Hazy Maze Cave.

The entrance to the metal cap stage is located within the level itself, all you need is have Dorrie carry you to the metal cap cave entrance and jump inside, now it may seem like you just trapped yourself somewhere with no food, which doesn't solve your situation, but you can fall down the waterfall back into Peach's castle.
The fall is relatively high, but as long as you don't drain the moat's water, it could be survivable, if a little painful.

Now you would have access to 3 separate areas since they're all connected, you can, quite literally, loop peach's castle to feed the fish and get water, go to hazy maze cave for bug meat and go down to dorrie's location, leave through the metal cap stage's water fall, and repeat the process.

There's another thing, the metal cap stage has minerals, which means, eventually, you could mine them for resources and make better weapons and tools. One could assume that the crystals in the metal cap stage are actually made of metal, as not even metal mario is able to damage them, if you were able to find a way to break them, you would gain really powerful stuff to use, and since the crystals would regrown after you leave the metal cap stage, that's an infinite resource of crystal metal ore, which in time, you would be able to create structures to make hazy maze cave less of a hazard to navigate.

This would then grant you access to 2 extra levels that also loop back into peach's castle, dire dire docks and the vanish cap stage.

With the new resources obtained, you would be able to visit those two new levels for more resources, although getting out of them back into peach's castle is more difficult, as you would need to bring climbing tools to descend to the vanish cap's depths and get warped back to moat, although that would require you to drain the moat, making your trip to and from metal cap stage more dangerous because the fall is now way higher, plus there's not really anything to do there.

The second one however, Dire Dire Docks, if you're able to break through the submarine's door, you'll be able to navigate back to peach's castle, and with the metal tools from the metal cap stage, you likely could, this gives you access to the fire spitters, which means you'll be able to take them with you, and since they would reappear once you enter dire dire docks, you would be able to get an infinite amount of them.

This gives you the technology to produce infinite fire, alongside the already infinite food and water sources along with ores from metal cap stage.

Even without being able to get into dire dire docks, looping the castle grounds, hazy maze cave, and metal cap stage gives you access to infinitely respawning 1-up mushrooms if you can make it up the castle, and with enough resources, you could craft yourself a ramp up to the castle's roof.

As we see in mario sunshine, 1-up mushrooms will fully replenish your water tank, meaning that not only are they full of nutrients (they give you an extra life after all) but will also prevent you from suffering dehydration, that means you would be able to grow more of them, giving you an infinite supply of lives, nutrients and water.

[absollnk]

46:35 I feel like I, as a normal human whose movement is not bounded by game mechanics, could relatively easily traverse slopes like that without helplessly falling to my death

[ArchipagoLPs]

47:15 But sir, you are failing to consider the possibility that you befriend Dorrie and train her to weigh down the switch on command

[ivanbluecool]

Guess next we'll see how long you can survive on Mario Galaxy. That'll be fun

[turntoyou]

Oh Peach definitely has castle areas you can't access! I insist there's hidden/locked areas for sleeping, cooking, chilling, etc. She says come to THE castle not A castle and you go into the same castle to have cake AGAIN at the end. Lol

[Uniman-dhge]

32:58 You do not want to eat an eyeball. Getting through only the first layer with a surgical scalpel takes about a minute on a normal sized one. And then after the first layer, the rest of it is just globby glibby slimy stuff. Nothing you could eat.

[Agarillobob]

you dont need the metal cap to push down the switch in hazy maze cave, you can do it in game by bouncing off the wall and just hitting the switch real hard by landing in the warter, considering a human being taller then mario you should be able to stand on the switch and press it normally

[cornesalvo]

I'm going to be completely honest I've thought about this many times as a kid and was waiting for the eventual 1-hour-long video on youtube discussing it. Thank you for delivering.

[silverbeach]

I'm contesting Big Boo's Haunt.
There's a lot of doors you could easily dismantle. You could break into the second story by taking the door off its hinges entirely.
Use wood from doors or walls to make fires and dry the meat to preserve it. You could also bash the boos with wooden planks to get rid of them.
The basement is likely cool enough to act as a fridge, with how it's totally closed off and insulated by stone. The moisture would be a problem, though, so drying meat would be better since the area looks relatively low humidity anyways: the house isn't rotting or molding, even though the basement is flooded. Burst pipe, I guess?
The killer piano is fleshy and would be easy to kill with a spear since its mouth is so large. Drying an entire grand piano's worth of meat would likely feed you for the rest of your life. The huge eye on floor 3, also, but that'd be less satisfying than getting one over on that piano.
Your biggest enemy in Big Boo's Haunt would be vitamin deficiency from a lack of sunlight.

[guyrocketram]

why not ask the penguins of Cool Cool Mountain for help with the igloo? they seem friendly enough, and can even speak human understandable languages, and seem to have no problem in the cold. im sure theyd be willing to help you, they might be way more valuable as allies then as food.

[nerddwarf]

This would be the topic of an early 2010's Game Theory

I love it

[wingbeltcreations]

For Dire Dire Docks, it connects back to the Castle's Moat if you go back through the door in the later stages. So, if we're assuming the lake and moat were fresh water, this would mean that this stage's water is fresh as well. Granted, we still have the fire to disinfect the water at least.

[SeleenShadowpaw]

oh my god, the part with the 'goddamn cognito hazard' and 'the sistine chapel that kills you' really sold me. Good poignant satire :D
I already was engaged by your delivery and the editing, but have a like and a subscribe early after 23 minutes, you earned it :3

[wurtknurte]

29:09 If you had the lung capacity to swim to the underwater caves, you could potentially harvest wood from the chests in the cave, using the goombas inside to feed you while you set up a fire. Even if the wood is a bit damp, it's going to be much less wet than the wood outside due to being in the cave. Alternatively, you could live in that cave until any wood you left outside is dried, and make a fire outside, but I think being in the cave protected from the elements is a better option.