Men Don’t Get ‘Me Too’

Author and social commentator Fran Lebowitz says men still don’t get it. In today’s deep dish, we weighed in on whether or not men understand the ‘Me Too’ movement.

[CaesiusX]

In general, I must agree with Fran. _Intellectually_ I felt I understood what women deal with. But it took being with my fiancé to finally understand it at a _visceral_ level. What she goes through is and has been maddening. She is constantly stared at. Men treat her like an object, sometimes even unknowingly. They behave as if they are owed something from her. That even what she is wearing is for _their_ benefit (e.g. shorts on a hot summer day). She has constantly been harassed and followed home, and has even been assaulted multiple times.

She has asthma, as well as other respiratory issues, and she had trouble breathing one day. She it was out of her oxygen, so she went outside to get some air. Her neighbor saw her distress and came outside. He is a paramedic for the Air Force and told her he had some oxygen in his garage. Of course you expected something in return. This happened often. Whenever she had any kind of difficulty, men would offer to help _"if she would be willing to. . ."_
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Most men just simply wouldn't understand. When they see women bashing men, or trying to point out inappropriate behavior, the men feel victimized themselves. They don't understand why a woman would react so aggressively to some small slight or joke, as the men may feel it wasn't necessary to make a big deal of it. Because they don't understand what it is like to experience this treatment _all the time._

I say I now understand it more at a visceral level because of the times that I've either been texting her or on the phone with her directly and these events are happening. At all levels. I'm infuriated at the behavior, such as men expecting a hug or outright putting hands on her and thinking it is no big deal. And of course I'm scared to death for the safety of my fiancé when she is followed, or she's home alone and three men come to her door. I was even on the phone with her when she heard noises outside of her house and a stalker was finally arrested. Someone she didn't even recognize as ever having seen before. It's that fear that women experience all the time.

[garethmorgan]

Some great points from the chap in the middle. I haven't heard of this channel before but this was such a refreshingly intelligent, good humoured and positive discussion about a contentious issue .

[emilycross]

My sense is that Fran is saying “start by agreeing with me” in other words, don’t wait until you fully and completely understand to start taking me seriously. I doubt her meaning was don’t bother trying. My interpretation would be she meant “hear me now, believe me later”. Like the host said, have empathy.