Reactive Abuse

[Understandingnarcissism]

Reactive abuse is a toxic pattern of behaviour often seen in relationships where emotional manipulation is prevalent. In these situations, one person, often a narcissist, provokes the other into reacting negatively in order to gain a sense of power and control. The narcissist will escalate the situation, pushing the victim's buttons until they lash out in frustration, only to then turn the blame back on the victim for overreacting.

Victims of reactive abuse often react out of a sense of self-preservation. They may feel trapped, belittled, or gaslighted by the narcissist's manipulative behaviour, and their reactions are a way to defend themselves and regain a sense of control in a situation where they often feel powerless. However, these reactions only serve to further empower the narcissist and perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

The effects of reactive abuse on the victim can be devastating, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-doubt. Over time, the victim may begin to believe that they are the problem rather than recognising the narcissist's role in the cycle of manipulation.

One way to defeat the narcissist and break free from the cycle of reactive abuse is to no longer be emotionally reactive. By refusing to engage in the narcissist's games and remaining calm and composed in the face of their provocation, the victim can regain control of their emotions and begin to set boundaries to protect themselves from further manipulation.

However, when the narcissist realises they are losing their power over the victim, they may resort to more extreme measures to regain control. This could include love bombing, gaslighting, or even threats of violence. The victim needs to recognise these tactics for what they are and continue to stand strong in their resolve to break free from the cycle of abuse.

In the end, breaking free from reactive abuse requires courage, strength, and a commitment to prioritising your mental and emotional well-being. By recognising the signs of manipulation, setting boundaries, and refusing to engage in toxic behaviours, victims can begin to reclaim their power and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.

[yolandaz]

Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your knowledge & wisdom🙏💜🙏💜🙏

[MENTALHEALTHWITHLUKE]

Most of that. I am currently in therapy, and it's really helping. As are your shorts. Very helpful, thank you 💙

[Denise-yc]

Definetly have experienced this cycle. Been attempting to stop this cycle from continuing.
Can only work on myself, my responses or rather not giving any response. It can be difficult. Not caring to get caught up in whatever devious
plot the narcissist is concocting is one way to just ignore them. You are a blessing
in my life. Thank you.

[a.williams]

Totally true. Therapy and mindfulness meditation among other disciplines are so helpful to keep awareness of oneself, to set and guard personal boundaries at all times. All what narcissists want is a reaction from their victims to control and abuse them through their manipulative tactics. Understanding their dynamics is key to avoid falling for their ill game. Refuse to engage with them and take your own power back, you're the only one really in charge of your own self mindfully. Thank you, Elizabeth 🙏🏻

[psalm.]

experienced everything you listed because of the abuse amd gave the Narcissists exactly what they wanted so they could "prove" their slanderous smear campaign.
there may always be regret at not recognizing what was happening but I thank God there is no more shame knowing that I was Not the only one they did it to and for people like you and others helping us survivors come out the other side.🙂

[sandradamen-fwzy]

In my case: therapist was needed. The crazyness of a mother is shocking. ❤

[cadmium.sulfide]

And this is why I have a domestic violence charge to my name.

Over a decade of emotional, psychological, mental, and other abuse (including physical) - but who is going to believe all that? - from my narcissistic ex-wife finally culminated in me exploding and throwing food at her. She charged at me to physically retaliate, and I pushed her away repeatedly. Because I instigated the physical altercation, I was arrested for domestic violence: restraining orders, supervised visits with my kids, court appearances, child services, personal counseling, anger management, probation officers, the whole nine yards. And STILL I couldn't gather the strength to leave for more than another two years. We've been separated for two and a half years now, and in the midst of a nasty divorce, but the damage is done.

For what woman will EVER accept a man with a domestic violence charge? What woman will hear those words not run - RUN for the hills, and NEVER look back?

She did her work well.

[dw]

Tell this to the judge who didn't grant the restraining order

[JoAnnChamness-xflq]

This was my son’s song while he was in college. He never had a home 🏠 I was never allowed to buy a house in the San Joaquin Valley in which I lived since 8 years old and married for 21 years with Excellent Finances in my marriage. Embezzlement 😢and other Fraudulent internet crimes happened with our accounts. Destroying our ability to buy a house.i am now divorced at age 60 without a house I believe due to illegal immigration and legal immigration. I have 3 degrees, law enforcement, Administration of Justice, & Liberal Arts all in Associate of Arts degrees from 1998. 4 children who are Targeted as well as me during Governing Newsome Aera . Way to go GOVERNOR NEWSOME‼️🇺🇸🙌🇺🇸

[chasradcliffe]

Yes yes and yes again. Evening elizabeth.💜

[Ni-wluh]

Thank you ❤ another important one to know. 🙏

[JoAnnChamness-xflq]

Yep . The Right Step Parent to fatherless children makes ALL the difference 😢A good Man to FATHER fatherless children is hard to find. 🤔

[lesabrydson]

Elizabeth, thank you for sharing your wisdom and support 👍. Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🙏🇯🇲👑🙌👍

[kingaberlakovich]

Sometimes it is the anger what the narcissist feels inside, but you play it out

[robertovss]

Would it be incorrect in saying, Reactive Abuse' is not right however when one is being faced with ongoing yelling, belittling, manipulation by the narcissist it is natural? My experience was I reacted to her yelling at me, belittling me, threatening me on a daily basis, she then twisted everything

[CedroneTravels]

Can you slow it down so some can read them in entirety? Thanks

[siddharthp]

True!! But how I can I do this in my family!! My father is a perpetrator and my sister in law is doing tue same! Maybe her family had one phychopath so what do I do?? No therapist is available in my place and I don't have too much of resoirce either!! Kindly suggest!!

[yenfr]

I think I just had this episode. No matter how much I told him to leave me alone and years of stress and his anger issues. I'm not even allowed to get cooking pans that are pink because he lives in the house too and it's not going to be all girly when a man lives here. When he has an issue when I talk to my mom or brother or just anyone because I make him look like a bad guy without even trying or making it look like we are poor and he can't take care of me. There is always something and I just can't. Today he got mad because I told our daughter that she will at least do 30 min during the weekend of school work. So basically everyday, but Monday-Friday is an hour. He had an issue with it and got mad at me. He always has the final say. I can't vent anywhere and can't talk to anyone. So who am I suppose to talk to how am I suppose to vent all these emotions. I've been feeling like a horrible person because I am always mistreating him. I feel guilty and horrible. It's always me and I can never do nothing right. I got so mad today that screamed and my body began shaking uncontrollably. I even pushed him I have never played my hands on anyone. I even started hitting myself. I felt out of control and now I'm just so embarrassed and I just can't believe this even happened. Sometimes not being on this earth seems like such a peaceful solution. I acted like a crazy person. Maybe he is right I'm just so dramatic and overact to everything. He tells me I have to stay with him. That if I live I'm breaking up the family our daughter doesn't deserve this. That I'm not trying in this relationship because my solution is always to leave. Idk I'm so confused and feel so exhausted.

[Dmachine]

I have to leave my house at 6:15 am sharp every day. There is hell to pay if I am late. I am also the controlling one. Apparently