is comp-het why I'm attracted to masculine women?

Hey, skullies! I wanted to do something different on my channel and share with you all a DM I got which posed a great question. Is compulsory heterosexuality seeping into her relationships with women via her preference in masculine women?

If you ever have any questions or video suggestions feel free to DM me! My Instagram is @sapimij.

💀 who am I? 💀
My name is Savonne Pearson, a 22-year-old who loves to tell stories and challenge perspectives. Whether it be through commentary or a series, in each video, I aim to teach you something new or tell a story. I’m passionate about normalizing mental health within the black community, challenging stereotypes within the LGBT community, and bringing awareness to those who often become forgotten.

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💀 connect with me 💀
Instagram: @sapimij

💀 Check out my other content! 💀
Toxic Mental Tuesday (TMT), where I discuss anything having to do with toxicity and or mental health:
Toxic Mothers: Our Experience featuring my two oldest sisters:
The Lesbian Masterdoc Series, where I explore the lesbian masterdoc discussing compulsory heterosexuality (comp het), my experience with it and coming out as a late bloomer lesbian:
The Forgotten Bunch series where I discuss Black cases that haven't gotten as much media or police attention and or remain unsolved:
My interviews and discussion where I bring very different people on my channel to discuss LGBT and Black topics:
My commentary where I talk about controversial topics, both alone and with guests:
I'm a filmmaker and I've been creating videos since I was nine years old, here I react to my video archives:

💀F A Q S💀
age: 22
where am I?: the Midwest
when did you start uploading consistently?: May 17th, 2020
when did you come out?: I'm a late bloomer lesbian and I came out at 21 years old

💀 equipment 💀
camera: canon c100 mark ii
lens: nifty 50 mm & the pancake lens 24mm
lighting: ring light & occasionally my studio GVM lights

Sub count: 1225 skullies

[SavonnePearson]

Thoughts? Have you guys worried about this as well?

[storiesofacloud]

oh my god this is so me, i'm 25 and have been slowly coming to terms with my sexuality/coming out in the past 4 YEARS, yet i'm still here, questioning it, because right now i'm into more masc women and find weird the thought of being with a femme (even though i've always had crushes on them the most way back when i didn't realize it was crushes lol) because i want to feel the more feminine one, even though i'm not that feminine and i am more like a casual sweater girl (i dont know if thats a term lol but i like it), i'm taller and bigger than most girls i'm around and recently i've felt this intense attraction for a taller and more tomboyish girl, it felt so different, so intense being around her...but since it didn't go well with her (as in it wasn't reciprocated), ever since then i see the qualities that i liked in her in men more than in most women that i meet, who are usually femmes, and this is sending me back into the loop of "so maybe i am attracted to men" (which i thought was over when i first had that attraction for her, i had no more doubts back then, oh how nice that was), but the thing is, as soon as i see this attractive men and think okay he is attractive, i'm not indifferent about his appearence and/or his body, the thought that that means i have to get into dating men and actually be with them literally makes me so depressed, and it's not like i'm not aware of possible psychological problems linked to trauma, i went to therapy for years and right now i'm always checking in on myself and healing past traumas, i know that in the past i've had some uncomfortable/scary encounters with men in the street who followed me, but the thing is...otherwise i have no problems being friends with men, i enjoy being around men, i'm actually more extroverted with them and joke around more with them - so it's not like i always feel threatened - and i actually resent the idea that i don't want to be with them sexually and/or romantically just because of past uncomfortable encounters...i want to don't want to be with them just because i don't want to be with them, period! but the hypotheticals are always there, the fact that i like women who "look" like men (but what i like about them is that they're a woman!!! who expresses herself the way she wants outside of stereotypes!! and yeah the balance about their masculine and feminine energy is what attracts me and what i also want to embody!!!) still makes me feel invalid and like "then i should just be with a man" . the main problem at the end of the day is, i could maybe be more confident in my attraction towards women if i'd ever been able so far to actually be with a woman, even just kiss one. instead i get very rare, very intense "obsessions" with one particular girl who never reciprocates my feelings, and the time in between is me questioning my own sexuality because i don't have one person to focus on and everyone is potentially attractive and viable, but never the right one. still i want a girlfriend, my fantasies have only exclusively included being with women ever since i realized i was gay around 4 years ago, i never fantasize about men, yet in the "real" world they're everywhereeee, and i'm so scared, i'd be so disappointed to end up with a man, even if they're attractive and i could potentially be with one and potentially enjoy it somewhat :'( but the more i can't get with women the more i feel like an imposter, like i'm just fooling myself and it's not really for me, but on the other hand the more i feel like that the more i'm not able to live peacefully my being gay, which makes me freeze around who i actually like... so it's a constant loop of...ugh

[augusta.]

i agree so much w/ the person who sent you that DM like, , it feels So Good + validating to hear you talk abt the Lesbian Experience (TM) esp. as a late bloomer. i feel like it's so hard to figure out what you're feeling when you're a gay woman bc there's hardly any information i relate to as someone who didn't like, immediately Know growing up (or at least to me i can't really find much info!) -- so w/ your videos i'm always like "oh !! someone else feels the same way" 💕

funnily enough when it comes to the topic of this vid i'm femme and mostly attracted to woman who are Even More feminine than me and i've had super similar worries! in the past i've been like, , "is this internalised misogyny bc of media?" / "am i just viewing myself as The Man or something?" it all seems a bit like, people will just criticise lgbt women no matter what 😭

[Michelle-ojwv]

Okay, so I’m a little weird. I love sleeping with feminine women, but I prefer to date tomboys. I find that I tend to be a little dominant in the bedroom, so when I’m with femmes (I guess since I’m feminine but not like femme femme) they see me as the more masculine one and I don’t enjoy being placed in a masculine role. And I don’t date studs, cause as I said in the last video, they internalize the toxicity. But girls that are a lil tomboyish (stems if you prefer) are perfect ☺️ in my experience they are open in the bedroom and are willing to explore, while letting me take up my space as a feminine woman in the relationship.

[GLamoRousCooKie]

Savonne I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for these videos. Your videos are the only thing making me feel validated and less alone. I'm in my mid 20's and I grew up (and still live) in a very conservative, religious, rural area. I've always known I had some level of attraction for women, but I always repressed it and thought of it as a phase or "not real". During this pandemic I've slowly started coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably a full blown lesbian. Every single video of yours hits home. Thank you again.

[celinegarcia]

I have recently subscribed to your channel, and I really love your videos, this is no exception. I’ve been out as a lesbian for almost nine years now, for me my preference has constantly evolved, but when I first came to terms with my attraction to women, I definitely had a major preference for masc and androgynous women. Now I find I’m attracted to fems as well as butches/studs and am open to having a relationship with either. For me my almost exclusive attraction to butches and masc women was a transition into being more comfortable with my attraction to women. So even if my attraction was influence by comp-het initially, as I’ve gotten older and more comfortable with my sexuality, comp-het eventually has less of an influence over my attraction to women and my sexuality. So I would say to the person who sent the message, even if it is comp-het that’s contributing to your attraction mostly to masc women and your lack of interest fem women. There’s nothing wrong with that. And as you are more comfortable in your sexual identity, your taste might evolve and dating a fem might seem more interesting to you. But there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to masc women cause they’re hot. Why wouldn’t you be attracted to them?

[nonamity]

Damn I never really thought about it. It might be true for some, but gender expression is completely different from gender identity, so I don't think it would be true for most stud attracted lesbians

[Onelis.Rosario]

Finally found what was wrong with me, thank you so much❤️ Keep doing what you do!

[thekittykatie]

ur my new fav youtuber haha thanks to contrapoints to opening my mind up to all of this because I was MISERABLE when I was cis and straight lmao

[laela]

I’m so glad we are having this conversation tho

[uvedeuv]

Kind of off topic but I've recently watched your series on the masterdoc, and in general the whole comphet thing gives me biphobia vibes. I also read about the woman who came up with the theory was a bit of a terf and biphobic. I still find the concept useful in some parts and it has helped me understand some of my behaviors in the past with some of my relationships with men. IDK, it left me a feeling of aiming for people to focus on their same sex attraction by putting down opposite sex attraction through extreme rationalization. I feel like the experiences present in the master doc are kinda universal, even for straight people because heteronormativity is a thing, and I do not see the only option is disregarding male attraction. I'm all for questioning our reality and our feelings, but pushing a label so much is counterproductive. But I guess its identity politics?

[zeehyde]

i needed this video so much, thank you <3

[Antaeres]

I'm never attracted to butch women, but I like feminine women who are muscular and strong.
I don't feel like it has anything to do with comphet, as most of my ex partners were femme.

However, being with someone who is too girly makes me feel off balance. I see myself as non binary with feminine energy, and enjoy masculine energy but not the butch look

[YKikii]

Very interesting video! For myself I consider myself femme to butchy femme and I'm most attracted to feminine women or in between fem and masc but leaning fem?

For men I've always liked fem and masc men about equally. Nb people more on the feminine to equal side. I wonder if people who are more "equal" tend to be attracted to the same and people on further ends of the spectrum like the opposite the most ? How does comphet fit into that? Especially if you already prefer more fem energies like yourself ?

[thebrightestrainbowever]

To be honest I have wondered and worried about this too!

[MoonshineMetal]

I came out as bisexual when I was 15 and later found out in my twenties (still am in my twenties) That I was actually a pansexual and I feel more free with myself after I came out as Pan.

[kimsteinke]

I stumbled across your video and this is officially your white gay grandma and wait for it a wise one I'm 61 and y'all are very very intelligent and you're on the right track ask me any question and I'll try to answer you I'm the masculine born in 1962 I knew when I was five then I felt more masculine but I was also very pretty and feminine as well but more masculine My nature was geared toward mechanical I worked in electronics computers all mechanical electronics and retired in that field So it's not manufacture from a heterosexual normative I can see where you thought that and that's a good thought It's very intelligent but yes keep probing keep asking questions That's the way you break through I believe everything can be answered logical, and historical everything can be reconciled with biblical and theology it can be done I'm proof. 🌈🏳️‍🌈🇺🇲👍😇 Grandma Kim in Texas. I'm here for y'all You're not alone You are normal.

[chrisjenkins]

I'm learning... and still exploring both gender and sexuality.. and adding comments my therapist makes to me that polarity is needed for attraction.. something that doesn't make sense to me completely, but explains why I know so many people that live with mirror opposites of themselves... Maybe the key underpinning is seeking safety and acceptance?

[robertmoulds]

Being a good neighbour is a way to befriend a woman who prefers to literally wear the pants so I can wear preferable short dresses. We traded some of my pants for dresses and its the best we even go out together I always wear dresses and skirts and she wears pants it seems natural. We aren't romantically involved just friends we meet other people free of pressure or snide remarks about being transvestie and seeing underware. Deal with it in high school over 20 years ago even got in a fight with a prev lifting up one my short dresses.

[brmcney]

Idk, but this thought occurred to me. Because black women are typically hyper masculinized, do you think, in addition to comphet, some femmes seek out masculine women to look more feminine (especially in terms of stud femme relationships that adopt heteronormative dynamics)?