The 3 Most Common Reasons For Breaking Up

Ladies and gentlemen, I am Brad Browning, YouTube’s #1 most trusted breakup expert. I’m a Vancouver-based relationship and breakup coach, and I’m the author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide to getting an ex back.

Welcome to this brand new video, in which I’ll be sharing the three most common reasons people decide to end a relationship. If you’ve been dumped recently, then chances are at least one of these 3 things led to your breakup… or at least contributed to your ex’s decision to some degree. I know this because I’ve been a breakup coach for the past 12 years, and I see these three issues arise among my coaching clients on a daily basis.

Before I dive into the first common “Attraction Killer”, there’s one thing you need to be aware of… and that is that, in at least 90% of all breakups, your ex is not going to tell you the truth about their reasons for breaking up. Often, they’ll give you a “partial truth” rather than a blatant lie when they explain their decision… sometimes it’s a subconscious thing on their part, and sometimes it’s completely intentional in an attempt to avoid hurting your feelings. Regardless of the details, just keep in mind that whatever your ex has said was the cause of the breakup, it’s probably not the whole truth… and it could be a downright lie. That means that any of these 3 things I’m about to cover may have contributed to your breakup, even if your ex hasn’t mentioned it specifically.

So, let’s dive straight into the first common reason people break up…

Reason #1: Boredom and complacency.

Pretty much everyone has a desire for fun and excitement. No-one wants to be stuck in the same boring routine forever. Every relationship needs to have some element of fun and excitement… you don’t have to go bungie jumping in the nude every weekend or anything ridiculous like that, but you do need to keep things interesting and avoid being too complacent in any relationship.

Often, when the “spark” fades and the honeymoon phase of your relationship ends… things stop being “new and exciting” for your partner, and neither of your will make any real effort to keep things interesting. Needless to say, this is definitely a big mistake that can lead to breakups. You need to make sure that your partner is having fun and maintains their interest in you and your relationship.

Even the healthiest relationships require some maintenance and work to keep things interesting, so it’s always important to put in the work to keep the spark alive and avoid falling into a boring, passionless routine.

When you think back to the last weeks and months of your time together, do you really think your partner felt that “spark” and excitement that’s necessary to keep things interesting? Or did you both fall into a comfortable routine and let the passion slowly fade away? Be honest with yourself and you may recognize that things just became too dull and routine to keep your ex invested and engaged in the relationship.

Reason #2: Jealousy and/or overly controlling behaviour.

Oh man, if I had a dollar for every time I worked with a coaching client with jealousy issues, I’d probably be recording this video on my private jet…. Because really, this is one of the single biggest issues people have in relationships.

Jealousy is a very natural emotion that affects almost everyone, so don’t beat yourself up if you realize now in hindsight that you were overly jealous in the days and weeks leading up to your breakup. But it is important to recognize when you’re being unreasonable with your jealousy, or letting it affect you to the point where you’re trying to control your partner’s life… managing feelings of jealousy is a critical relationship skill that you need to learn in order to live happily ever after. Jealousy can lead you to be controlling, as I just mentioned, but it’s also just a very unattractive trait in general that screams of insecurity. If you recognize that you were overly jealous or controlling in the past, then that’s something you can easily address and work on to ensure the same problem doesn’t lead to future breakups.

*** More from Brad Browning:

[racheyg]

I purchased your ex back guide 5 months ago and got my ex back.
I was a mess, things are going well now,
Thank you so much Brad!

[frenchiegonewild]

Let's see...
1) Loss Of Attraction
2) No more Loyalty
3) Arguing out of nothing which hints once again the initial one which is of attaction

[maansichooramun]

I used your method of no contact and in 21 days he came back and we are now together! Ty❤️❤️
And it feels more strong and romantic now😍🔥🤞.

[shortblossxm]

My ex left me a week ago because his friends kept telling him to leave me cause they didn't like me. He still texted me that he loved me but a day after that he got with a new girl. It's been 3 days since they got together and the new girl told me she doesn't think it'll last longer than 3 months. I'm really hoping it's a rebound and I can win him back

[peppermintcookie]

Don’t forget that the other reason for the break-up is because of the distance between the two of you (only for those who went to a Long Distance Relationship)

[saoturboto]

The biggest factor in my opinion, and it is something I've see countless times, is not knowing what you want out of a relationship. The fear that the relationship will suck out the air out of your personal time, and you need to invest your free time with another person. In other words, not knowing if you really are ready for a serious relationship or not.

[MikeMethot]

Hi there, my issue isn't exactly a breakup but she did however mention needing some space and time to think. She mentioned having a lot of stress in her life and also said she didn't feel like I wanted to be a part of her life because I have put off meeting her friends and family for months and turned down her offer to spend Christmas with her family. I feel horrible as I didn't realize this was hurting her as much as it was.

[rajathchandran]

I shd have seen this video a 2months back... Boredom must have been the reason in my case.... Thanks a lot brad...
This video will definitely help me in future

[ThomasThomas-ulrz]

Hey Brad! My ex broke up with me because after 3, 5 years, because our relationship was boring, we did the same things for months. 3 weeks ago she wanted to break up, she told me that she doesn't feel the "spark" and she doesn't feel excited. When we said goodbye to each other she started crying because she won't bear that we won't talk to each other. We discussed that we give the relationship an other chance and try to fix it. Then we did a lot of activities, but i felt she didn't want to talk me as much. She broke up with me last week, because the relationship didn't work. I haven't talk to her since. I don't want to loose her, but I don't know what should I do... Please help!

[karanjulka]

Hey brad, so i am in college and i met my ex here only, we started dating 20 days after we met and had a really powerful relationship, after 7 months, we broke up because we were having too many fights, we hooked up again and got into a relationship again after 15 days, and we broke up again, this kept happening until she made a best friend, after our third breakup, she totally cut me out of her life and started hooking up with this guy who is the complete opposite of me and she made it clear that we are over and there is no chance she will get back with me, but after a few days we started talking again and got back together but she didn't tell me that she hooked up with this guy more than once, she was still very good friends with him and she used to say that she loved him as a friend. After a while i got to know about it and i confronted her and broke up with her saying that she lied to me about it, she begged me to take her back and she totally cut that other guy out of her life, i started the no contact then and after one month, we got back together, we were together for 8 more months until she broke up with me again after we had a fight saying that she doesn't feel the same way and that she is going out of the country for studies a year later so there is no point in being together, when a few days back, she told me that we will figure out how to get through it because we are forever.
After breaking up, a month later, she started to talk to that guy again and they have become best friends, she is acting very indifferent with me and is acting like she has never before, she seems at calm about the breakup and okay with it, it has been 2 months since the breakup and we still talk sometimes but just as friends and she is very defensive and it feels that she has moved on completely, she is not even angry or sad about it, last night i had a talk about everything with her and she told me that there is nothing going on with him and her but that she really love him as a friend, she told me that while we were together, she texted him then too asking if he missed her or not, now they are Best friends and always together, they are going to a trip with a group of friends, we were in the same college group.
I dont know what i should do and i cant afford your coaching, please help me regarding this.
Please reply here.

[rebeccaneko]

I've been lied to so many times that I became jealous and clingy. Things that were rules for me, were not rules for him. I was not allowed to have many male friends, especially if they were interested in me once, but he could do what he wanted. I told him, that it hurt me and he said sorry and did it again. I guess I was the reason we broke up and I am still in so much goddamn pain, but I feel like I was made this way. I was turned into someone I am not.

[danielleunderwood]

Please help. I was in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years (2 hours a part). Around Halloween he made out with a female friend. He gave me time to make a decision and I decided to give him another chance. I point blank asked him if he wanted a relationship with me and wanted to be with me and he said yes. Then 2 weeks after I gave him the second chance (after spending a normal Thanksgiving together). He says he wants to break up and that he loves me but isn't in love with me and that he isn't ready for marriage. He kept saying please don't hate me and please don't shut down. He also mentioned that he despises cheaters and now he is one of them. He told me I could call him that night after he went home but I haven't it's been 3 days no contact, I did not get my things when he came and broke up with me so I still need to contact him. I love him and want to work things out. (Also he is the rare person that does not have social media).

[sanketshahare]

hey brad, it's almost 22 day since we are broke up she dumped me we are in reletionship from last two year form last two months things are not good between us and also she moved another city for study suddenly she lost feelings for me and she had feelings from another guy they were meet up online litterly i feel like shit i beg and plead for 1 day after that 22 days we are not in contact next month is our anivarsy and my birth day also should i text her ? but she blocked me every where so what should i do brad please help me out as soon as possible !

[DeeallthewayG]

My ex has been quick dialing me, but hangs up before I have a chance to answer?

[matthewwarman]

Hey brad, me and my ex had been together for 3 years and had been best friends for 6. Im extremely close with her family and we did everything together. She broke up with me telling me she was unhappy and she needed to find herself and I agreed as I love her. She quickly got into a new relationship with someone and about 2 weeks later told me she still loves me and wants to be with me again. Me being excited, I jumped at the opportunity and took her back. A week later she told me “Things arnt working and I really dont want to try being together again.” Im about 2 weeks into no contact and I miss her like crazy. She posts a lot more on social media and I dont know if she really meant it when she told me she didnt want to be together again. I really want her back, what should I do? Please respond!!

[jan-harmduplessis]

Ey brad i actually just have one question
I have watched all of your videos and at the en of the mont going to buy your books and everything
But before i do some of these things and i am honestly hoing to try to do everything right well i am on ypur channel for a reason right and wouldn't be doing this if i really wasn't in love with my ex

But my question is won't some of your tactics be like pushing them away


Think you give great advice and hope you read this

[anuragjagtap]

Hey brad, as you said I was jealous and needy and she left me...could I get her back?

[chaiam]

Brad. What about when my girlfriend ended the relationship for pretty good reasons but it completely traumatised me beyond the ability to function at all let alone develop career, having fun friends, distractions. I can't do any of it. And she immediately went to have sex with someone else which broke me. And now we can't talk because I'm such a mess not even hypnotherapy works. Every day is just a nightmare. What then Brad? Fuck it hurts. 40 years and I never experienced anything like this. Damn that shitty childhood. Look after your kids guys.

[gus]

Why am I watching this I have always been single.

[Fashbees]

Hey Brad!
My boyfriend has ended the relationship by saying that he doesn't want to be in any kind of relationship with anyone.He wants us to be just friends.What should I do to get him back?