But I feel JOY when I am with the narcissist...

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[bofflewaffle]

“A lapse in cruelty is not evidence of kindness.”

[carldaniels]

This joy tricks you into staying longer with the narcissist. It gives you hope that things will be better someday. It makes you feel guilty for standing up for yourself because you think this relationship is not that bad. Those precious little moments are what they hold on to. In their world, you were happy with them. They never see the abuse.

[susanbradleyskov]

Um, Dr. Ramani? “I’m not very creative.” You are, you’re just doing collective art with groups of people who feel like something thrown away until you help them understand and heal. That’s art, and it’s beautiful. ❤

[costelloandlizzievolk]

‘When not drowning feels like a good life, that’s not great. Survival is not joy’ …So true.. Focusing on reality with knowing the difference between joy and momentary relief. Working on my well being finding authentic joy, radical acceptance realistic expectations and less guilt. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

[youngblood]

"THE JOY" you get from the narcissist is equivalent to eating fast food and any kind of junk food high in sugar, everyday. It makes you feel good for the moment. But eventually it accumulates and before you know it, your health is in trouble.

[monikaschoeler]

This is sooo validating. I use to tell my ex that whatever he had for breakfast to keep having that when he wasn't being mean. And the mother thing, just wow! It all just makes sense now. Thank you so much🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[kira]

Absolutely. When things are good, they are amazing! When they are bad they are awful. Also, some feel joy when the narcissist is hurting because they hurt us so much, that's a guilty kind of joy. Narcissists are very addictive and dangerous. No matter the relationship.

[GailLaskowski-xq]

Yup! Yup! Yup! I think it’s just a moment that I can just finally breathe.. versus holding my breath around the person ….

[amandaliverpool]

Periods of less tension and not joy made perfect sense to me and was a light bulb moment 💡🙏

[WithAnEss]

5:58

A day without abuse is NOT joyful or feeling happiness-
The relationship is like drowning, and a day without abuse, is when your head is out of the water and you can breathe, except you have to hold your breath, again, because youre back under water, And the cycle continues.

[costelloandlizzievolk]

This also reminds me of the abusive family members, who do horrific abusive things with no accountability then are suddenly nice and give gifts so then I’m expected to be grateful and pretend everything’s ok when it is not. I know the truth and I deserve better. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

[mariavelaora]

This "joy" is the basis of addiction and co dependency.. thank you for ever Dr Ramani

[IAPPC]

We feel relief when our needs are finally met and, if we’re just surviving instead of flourishing, we may mistake that for joy. True joy is much bigger than that.

[poojamalhotra]

Yes! You feel relief. Sometimes it can also be 5 days and they don't show the bad behaviours and then you feel foolish for wanting to cut ties

[costelloandlizzievolk]

It reminds me of breadcrumbing…being so grateful for any little good thing we think it overrides the bad or is better than nothing. It’s not. I’d rather not accept breadcrumbs and experience real healthy mutual reciprocal expansive joy and love. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

[kimberleyhartley]

Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Your explaining various manifestations of narcissism in relationships is quite clear. You are right. As you discussed in your video, we cannot deny reality in thinking that a temporary relief of chronic abuse from a narcissist brings joy. Repetitive cycles of abuse cannot be normalized. There is something wrong when a person is driven to torment another person on a continual basis. It is unlawful to disturb someone who is doing no harm to anyone. The absence of moral absolutes in my opinion is what is causing willful disregard toward another human being. Man's inhumanity to man. Chronic narcissistic abuse is unacceptable in a free world economy. Urgent humanitarian intervention is necessary to restore order in a society of cancel culture and disrespect. Tolerance, mutual respect, and dignity have to be restored to relationships. These factors should become stabilizing forces for continuity in all communities.

[maddiesyoutube]

It's so true that it's just relief, not JOY.

[mohammednasir]

Cheers to everyone who is still struggling to heal after years of... remember you are not weak keep pushing

[carolynkepler]

That is the hardest thing about my relationship with my brother. He was the one who took care of me(I was 3)at our father’s funeral. He had just turned 6 and was the only “adult”. I’ve always looked up to him and wanted his approval.
As we got older, after awhile, I came to realize that he was bread crumbing me. I was SO desperate for his attention that I would take any scrap he threw my way. I kept trying to get his approval until I realized, with your help, that he was playing me. He may even be jealous of my artistic abilities because his praise sounded like something you would say to a 5 yr old. Very condescending and patronizing. I listen to other people now. They are genuine and don’t make me jump through their hoops.

[ianfraser]

Merry X-mas Dr. Ramani and all the people helping others. Even if you don't believe like myself, its a time to thank those that help us and appreciate those around us we care about and love..
Be safe, I hope you all enjoy something special and get some relaxation in..