Borderline Favorite Person Tantamount To Being a Stuffed Animal

Borderline Favorite Person Tantamount To Being A Stuffed Animal

Borderlines (many - not all) seem to really NEED and feel entitled to have a favorite person. Not all, but, oh so many of them. Like any other relationship types with an untreated pw/BPD the favorite person is a transitional object and thus tantamount to being a stuffed animal. pw/BPD NEED and untreated and not taking personal responsibility they will use you right up.

Borderline Favorite Person Tantamount To Being A Stuffed Animal

#BPDFavoriteperson #TransitionalObject #ajmahari

0:00 Video Intro
0:24 BPD Favorite Person Intro
0:50 BPD Act Out Videos On Favorite Person
1:00 Untreated Borderlines
1:44 BPD Favorite Person BPD Unhealthy Narrative
2:23 Borderline Idealization Phase & Codependents
2:46 Codependents Need Therapy
3:21 BPD Favorite Person All In One
3:42 Codependents Lack of Self
3:57 BPD or Codependent Unstable Relating
4:31 BPD Favorite Person Stuffed Animal
5:00 Favorite Person All About BPD's
5:56 Favorite Person BPD Transitional Object
7:00 Being BPD Favorite Person Impossible Dynamic
8:50 BPD Favorite Person Persecutory Object
9:55 BPD Favorite Person Dynamics Devaluation Split
11:09 BPD Favorite Person Being USED UP
11:34 BPD Favorite Person Newer BPD Getting Worse
12:18 Unhealthy to Be BPD Favorite Person - RUN
13:05 Have BPD? You damage Favorite Person
14:05 Codependent as BPD Favorite Person
15:19 Borderlines React Extremely to FP Videos
15:50 Codependents Don't Be BPD FP

[survivingBPDbreakup]

T-Shirt Translation: "Hell is other people" Jean-Paul Sartre. See Chapters in Video Description above!

[Toothpirate]

My ex would literally call my her “favorite person” multiple times a week. She broke up with me out of nowhere, burned 3 sweatshirts and a hat, and filled a police report against ME. To make matters worse, she started idealizing my best friend (of 4 years) and he totally turned his back on me. Never again

[emilyslopez]

Your videos made me realize what a stuffed animal I was to my uBPD ex friend. It was so draining, she needed so much validation and constant admiration for the smallest things. ✌ goodbye, I couldn't do it anymore, my soul was being eaten up.

[sarah]

Hi A.J. Yes these relationships for one who is a favourite person for a BPD is a horror show. My severe codependency and other factors kept me playing along as his thing for many years. It did cause me pain when I realized why he was so distraught when I left. He lost himself, as he lived thru me. I didn't even know he cared for me when if fact he felt he felt he couldn't live without me. So much grieving and reflection and healing and joy in life for me now. It takes time and one must make time, and not rush, the healing or work on yourself. I don't want to go down that road again, and certain parts of me are still so vulnerable and emotions are raw.

[curtiskd]

Hi AJ, this is a great and insightful video. I can relate to 99.9% of the video for both myself and the undiagnosed ex-bpd.
Ex-bpd- little capacity to see and hear significant other on stressful and emotional mutuality.
Myself. Not being seen and heard and the building up (creep) frustration, exhaustion and eventually walking on eggshells/broken glass. Your videos answer a lot of the relationship dynamics for both the ex and myself. I still have trouble w/PTSD and all the invalidations that were projected at me and I believed (loss of self)
Control struggle——> end.
Love the teddy bear/toy analogy.
Love it!!!
CD

[beautifulspirit]

Why they NEVER take responsibility for the pain that they’ve caused others is beyond me. All I was to him was an object for his sexual gratification and abusive behaviour. He used me like a stuffed toy for sure.. like he said he had no problem throwing out his teddy as a child. Very traumatising people. They need mothers not partners. Get

[boggeddown]

“Being a stuffed animal” Wow! I relate to that! Glad your back A.J.! Very helpful video. Spot on! I finally booked sessions with A.J. and she’s fabulous! I highly recommend A.J. to anyone wanting to truly heal! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[tmtsniper]

Absolute facts. As a recovering codependent realizing that I could never have my needs met plus getting blamed for childish misconstrued perceptions of his endlessly was my final straw. What you explained here is the lived experience of most non BPD ex's.

[learning]

Very insightful and as always super relatable and helpful video! I was the favourite person of 3 Borderlines. It was horrible and in my codependency I felt too guilty to take care of myself. BPD’s “use the favourite person” is 100% accurate!

[LiquidSnakeSSJ]

Thank you for your valuable wisdom & knowledge, A.J. Many thanks 👍

[jkumadapharaoh]

I was the one you were talking about at the end.

I wanted to be in a relationship with my bpd woman counterpart. We had a relationship prior during the beginning phase but it ended after I actually made error. I reached out and we got back acquaintanted. Never dated again but we were together all the time like we were.

Just recently she discarded me or basically just cut me off randomly. Literally last week we were cuddled up and making out. This week there was little to no contact. No physical intimacy. Anytime I’d try to bring it up it was ignored.

It hurt like a mf. Never felt so worthless. Hearing this stuff helps a lot tho. It makes it easier to know that this was something that wasn’t largely personal. It’s a person who needs help. They know not what they really do honestly. My anger and sadness slowly is turning into pity. It’s still hard but it’s easier. Just gotta let go.

[dougstevens]

AJ you are a Saint! Thank you for your continued insight to those of us "nons" involved with someone with BPD. I cannot thank you enough for the knowledge you impart, helping me to understand myself and my uBPD wife of almost 19 years. Bless you!

[jackjohns]

Spot on video A.J. Love your “keeping it real!” Look at your YouTube “Buddy” troll with the 👎🏻 You are #1 on this topic on YouTube and engagement is still engagement. Glad your back A.J.! Missed you! Great info 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[christinagaetano]

Thanks AJ, great and helpful content as usual. PS You were missed and look great, be well !

[Ib]

It's been 1 year and 5 months since I left my bpd mother who kicked me out, I never looked back she kept calling for 1 year every other month but I have put her on block and never spoken to her once. Your right she never cared about me I was just a emotional tampon, I suspected she had bod but felt guilty leaving her because I was the only son, I kept coming back and forth and the same cycle would take place over and over. February 2020 when she called the police on me while I came home from work trying to sleep in my room, she fake cried and told the cop I hit her trying to get me shot. That's the day I made up my mind nobody and figured anybody that loves you wouldn't call the cops in order to get you shot. All the people who are in these BPD relationships please I'm warning you before it comes to this "get out while you still can". These people are a volcano ready to bust and once they feel any abandonment they will try to destroy you. I must say coming three with my Narc family plus these bpd mother I have came out on top, I work in the city shes lives and never once visited her once.... his time it's not like how it was being codependent I have truly changed and beat the cycle. I also cut all my Narc father and the whole family I dont talk to them or even visit them once lol truly would never. I must say my mental health has improved I longer care or to miss anyone a quiet life is the only thing I'm running too, this wasn't easy it took 9 years. Glad I came out of the other side tho.😁

[samanthagrave]

So accurate, I've even said this, you treat me like im a stuffed toy!

[atiger]

Another very insightful video you've made!
Very clear ideas put in words in a well articulated manner.
Thanks A. J. I hope you are doing well!

[nancygillespie]

Another excellent lesson!
Thanks for all you do 🙏

[ericaharris]

Haven't read the comments. Just had a huge breakthrough. I'm absolutely codependent. I have been FPed by a married dude who works outside my house and it's a nightmare.

He mirrors me down to the way he speaks on the phone. Didn't know what it was and I had told him to lea eme alone. He changed his whole look. Now he's back to mirroring the male version of my look and just always needs to be in my presence if I'm outside.

He has a wife and kids but spends 13 hours a day at work when he can be there for much much less.

Learn the signs. I didn't. But if this hadn't hapoen, I would not have embarked on this journey of self healing. Even still. It sucks. I can feel my energy being drained even from 100 feet away.

When I tild him to leave me be he spent two weeks sitting and staring at me gaze unbroken for as long as I was nearby.

I plan to move.

[seventyinside]

Excellent video m! Very helpful info 👍🏻