The TWO surprising reasons why your friends aren’t more supportive | Mel Robbins #Shorts

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When you start growing and changing, don’t expect your friends and family to be supportive.

Your changes force people to think about the changes they AREN’T making. And it’s easier to criticize what you’re doing than to reflect on the choices they’re making. For example…

When you stop drinking during the week, your roommate will feel self-conscious when she pours herself a glass of wine. That’s why she says, “C’mon just have a glass with me!”

When you get up at 5:30am and make it to the gym for a 6am class, it makes the person you’re dating feel bad about sleeping in. That’s why they reach for you as you’re crawling out of bed and can be kind of rude when you’re getting home.

When you stay in on a Saturday night to work on your side business, it makes the friends you normally go out with realize they don’t have a whole lot going on in life. That’s why they say, “You’re no fun anymore.”

This is normal. We all do it. Even me.

So next time your friends and family aren’t supportive, don’t be surprised.

Instead of being annoyed, take a step back and realize that your behavior is setting a positive example. They are just not ready to follow it yet.

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[scottgould]

There is a somewhat famous quote I have heard:
“You are going to tick off a lot of people when you start doing whats best for you.”

[tropicalladyj]

It’s so mind blowing when you learn who your real people are. They get fewer and fewer as you keep climbing.

[TheDriftwoodlover]

Absolutely! I got this when began losing weight. “You’ll gain it right back!” Guess what — been at it 4 years and haven’t yet. People hate when you succeed.

[laquesabe]

Some of us are actually happy when we see our friends and family evolve, succeed, thrive. Not everyone is envious jealous or feeling left behind. Sometimes we can see them as inspirational.

[KuroiFey]

People aren't only intimated by your ability to better yourself. It's because they know the old you better than the you you're going to become, and familiarity is comforting.

[ykykcvp]

"That's not about you. That's about them." 👏🏻

[purpleskies]

I never expected this and its very painful when the people you love the most who you want to be proud of you are the ones don't acknowledge or care about you reaching your goals.

[sockpuppet]

Go no contact with emotionally immature people.
Go no contact with problemmatic people.
Find individuality, independence, and freedom.

[expensivenoodle]

My life in a nutshell. If there’s one nugget I can share from this, is that the best gift you can give to someone is your genuine and unconditional support.

[anniess]

True friends and family that care about you will be supportive no matter what. High light that it took me over 30 years to figure that out

[sandra]

This is so true.. I’ve been going through this with my family. The criticism is so bad it’s making me think I’ve been doing is all wrong. Thank you I needed to hear this.

[beatsg]

That's opposite to me, I'm supportive! I get excited when people tell me they want to do new things!

[lilexisentialcrisis]

I NEED TO BE ABLE TO SAVE THIS😤THIS IS LITERALLY MY LIFE. I've been on a constant journey to break generational curses and cycles and I'm ostracized for choosing to get better and heal🙄thank you Mel❣️luv you and all your great advice!!!

[rhiannonh.]

You said it better than I could but 100% agree! When you ride up to change, everything that doesn’t match your current reality tends to fall away or try to push back you to come back down to where you were before.

Often people hate self reflecting when all they’ve known is the comfortable discomfort of their own chaos. They’ve normalized chaos and why they don’t realize it’s a problem and rather have you come back to buffer the problem out of their eyeline.

[Rose-gvff]

This is so true! I lost 45 lbs and it’s been a bit lonely, but I had to put time into myself to take care of me. I’ve had to say no to a lot of friends. It’s funny because I haven’t told anyone about my goals and now that they see me, they’re shocked how much work I’ve done on myself. They ask how did you do it? Well putting all my time into me!

[gailmccall]

I’ve experienced this most of my life because I am someone who loves learning, to grow, and live in a perpetual state of self-improvement

[c.h.r.i.s.t.i.n]

I just want to add
#3: Do it anyway. You can and will make new friends who support the you you're trying to be. Some people are in your life for a season, some for a reason. Some people might be a blessin' while others are just a lesson. And a good rule of thumb to follow is: if they want to be in your life, embrace them, if they want to leave it, show them the door.

Because the people who don't want you to change will keep you stuck by not letting you evolve. They're treating you the same or acting like your self-improvement is fake.

It's unbelievable the lack of support we will find in our inner circle but just like a prophet isn't appreciated in his own time, a different you isn't accepted by your own people. The most you can do is pray for their own evolution.

[rose]

Truer words have never been spoken. I have gotten nothing but ridicule, resistance and negativity from family who I honestly thought would have been the first to embrace my new perspective and it has been heartbreaking and disappointing. Thank you for affirming this behaviour by the ones that should be supporting us. Sometimes I feel like I am going mad because of the lack of support . But I refuse to let them think that they are right .

[llynnie]

It's also when you find out who your true friends are and which relatives need to go.

[Dr_Analise]

So damn true.
When I am chasing my goals of better degree and studying hard for it ... I always get to hear those friends give me crap about why I should just settle for the job around and take what I have cause they did it too and they aren't making any effort to work !
It's sad but it is true ...i know i m gona work on myself