How to Weaken the Hold of Addiction

The triggers for addictive behaviours are always rooted in painful, self-critical emotions.

FURTHER READING

“Many of us are prey to addictive behaviours which we know run contrary to our deeper interests but which we find ourselves entirely unable to desist from at key moments.
Let’s pick three of these:

— Bulimia
— Porn addiction
— Alcoholism

We will appreciate, as soon as we come out of the tunnel of addiction, that we have neglected our interests and harmed ourselves. And yet we are at a loss as to what we might do. What, if anything, could help?

One kind of answer is this: we should try to notice when the desire to regurgitate food or watch porn or drink strikes us.

Though this might sound strange, those in the grip of addictions seldom do notice. They don’t pay much attention to what has immediately happened before their desires strike; it doesn’t occur to them that anything has…”

MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:

SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to follow us at the links below:

CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Provincia Studio

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[l.z.]

for sure. whenever i get that urge to gamble or to drink, it's usually because i feel bored, sad, lonely or stressed. then it also feels comfy to self sabotage.

[mercenaryeyes]

Today i decided to quit watching porn, and i was so close to give up and then this video came up on my screen, its been so long i feel unworthy, alone and sad but i never demanded help, idk why but i feel like i encourage myself to going even deeper than rock bottom but more importantly i always find myself OUT OF CONTROL thats the part which hurts me the most.
Your video definitely helped me alot thank you for being the best school of life.

[NobodyGuy]

A therapist taught me the most common triggers in an acronym B.L.A.A.S.T (bored, lonely, angery, anxious, sad, tired)

[dimlighty]

Summary (4:56):

The route to stopping addictive behavior is,
• To ask oneself how one is feeling
• Realize one is probably feeling very bad
• Grow curious about and sympathetic to the causes
• And then ask, "What would be a better, kinder way of handling this sense of awfulness?"

Knowing that there is room and love for the feeling that provokes addiction is the key to weakening the hold of and one day overcoming of what we're addicted to.

[Jhawk_k]

I've been using two questions from a Ted talk:

1. Is this thought useful
2. How is this thought behaving?

It allows you to detach quite quickly and smoothly from negative self talk

[Job.Well.Done_]

A lot of people are hurting out there and I’m so sorry 😢

[nancyaustin]

"Almost certainly in early life no one had much sympathy or the remotest bit of interest in our feelings of loss, self-hatred and abandonment--that's why we find it so hard to get interested in them ourselves." I love that thought--it's so true.

[trevscribbles]

Literally since this morning, with the help of prescribed Librium, I've been drying-out again since my first relapse due to alcoholism. It's still too early for me to feel remotely positive about this decision as I'm withdrawing, but this video popped-up at a very apt time for me.

[sebastianwaukazoo]

Porn, masturbation, video games and gore (yes violent gore content) im 23 and realizing now that since I’ve been doing these unhealthy habits since a young age 13 I always felt like a lower class being and never until now how to love my self. I watched this and a Jordan Peterson video and I cried my eyes out. I have so much emotional build up that I feel I’m at a tipping point. Where I keep hurting the one I love so dearly because of my nasty habits, she still loves me and says it but I just have more self hate then love it’s hard to really get there or believe it but now I feel my eyes are open and I’ve felt more emotion than I’ve felt in months. I’m human and I know that now I’m not an auto pilot machine I have to love myself in order to truly love someone.

[CuriosityIgnited]

Recognizing the emotional triggers behind addictive behavior is crucial in breaking the cycle. The emphasis on self-compassion, understanding, and slowing down to truly analyze our emotions is enlightening. It's important to remember that we can replace addiction with healthier coping mechanisms and that there is love and room for growth in overcoming our struggles. To anyone else battling addiction, remember that you are not alone, and that understanding the root causes can be a powerful step towards recovery.

[kanishkkun]

I pray and hope that we all loosen the grip of our addictions and eventually set ourselves free ☮️

[SearchOfSelf]

Addiction runs deep, but so does the power to overcome it. Someone close to me struggled with their demons for years, but with patience, self-reflection, and a lot of hard work, they were able to break free. Keep strong! ♥

[Brilliant_Smoke]

This is one of the best schools on earth. Love from 🇿🇼

[cameronis]

As a porn addict who, like many of us, feels lonely all too often, this video really helps.

[kellykang]

I heavily struggled with an eating disorder. A sense of impeding doom, the constant voices in my head, telling me I was not worthy of love if I ate was impossible for me to comprehend at such a young age. Eating is nourishment but rather in my addictive state of mind, it was punishment. A punishment I self-imposed over and over again.
A pivotal event I so intensely remember is my mind spiraled down so deep, it reached the point far beyond daily coping. That moment to me was life or death. So slowly, I decided to try living again, frankly because thought, if I died and had gone to hell and it was EXACTLY like this now, eternally, I did not want to be there.
We are all addicts to something, some labelled as "healthy" and some not, but when it becomes a pattern where it disrupts what is actually important in life such as self-compassion and loving the ever-so-small amount of people who can call family and friends, it should be re-visited. Human experience is to find peace in the mundane and balance in chaos, that we call life.

[aitordotco]

As a person that has been fighting with addictions for years, I think this information is very well put

[sergioazor]

I have been addicted to evasion through the internet in all its facets, so as not to be with my thoughts and emotions. I realized that lazing around and not filling the silence with random impulses is a luxury that we have decided to lose with these powerful technologies. So I have limited my own access to the Internet, marking an access time and buying an old phone to supply the basic functions.

[arielsong]

I was trying/struggling to understand my best friend's addiction to alcohol and drugs before watching this video. I used to think she was insane and ridiculous, as I assumed people should be able to control their behaviors fully. Now I think it's because she has been through something horrible that I was fortunate enough to not have been though (loss of her loved ones when she was very young, and didn't get the support she needed, and other stuff..)

Huge thank you to TSoLfor sharing your perspective and insights, so that I can be more compassionate to her feelings and be supportive in the right way. And thanks to everyone in the comment section, your sharing of personal stories and vulnerability help me learn what it's like to suffer from addictions. I might call her later....❤️

[laurensbabushka]

This video came at a good time. I had a talk with my partner the other night about how I know I shouldn't drink, but I don't know what else to do. It feels like I've tried everything. My life is too chaotic right now to make time for other forms of decompression. Towards the end of our conversation, I realized all I wanted him to do is hold me in those moments and see me as someone who was deeply upset and needing comfort. I hope he's able to do that next time and I hope it helps. Thanks for this video, I hope the reminder helps keep me on track ❤

[capimsi]

Love how you conceptualize addiction as a symptom of deeper, underlying pain