Top 10 Dating Mistakes Christians Need to Avoid!

Did you know that we have bad marriages because we have bad courtships? It's true. The better we get courtship and dating, the more successful our marriages will be. In this video I want to give you what I believe are the top 10 mistakes Christians make when dating.

Dating as a Christian can be tricky but hopefully you will be able to avoid wasting time, money and heartache by minimizing the mistakes outlined in this video. If you know someone who is dating, please send this video their way.

DATING VS. COURTSHIP

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[thebeatagp]

Hey BEAT singles! I hope you REALLY tune in and listen to this video AND share it with someone who needs it. This is some of my best advice to singles who are dating. Enjoy and share!

[rajhansakima]

Excellent! I'd add two things: There must be a consistent (not perfect) agreement of 1) morals and 2) theology. From experience, I can tell you that to disagree with MOST things morally and theologically is not only heartbreaking, but frightening when considering raising children in the faith.

[aainx]

There's another big mistake that I've seen a few christians make: "Moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend before marriage". This complicates the relationship, especially if you eventually decide that you don't want to marry this person.

[gigahorse]

A huge red flag: showing disrespect or disregard to family members.

[KS-rbqf]

-accountability: no one outside of relationship to provide unbiased advice.
-authenticity: don't be pretentious.
-comfortability leads to complacency.
-sexualizing the relationship.
-settling below your standards
-having options.
-overlook red flags.
-not dealing with YOUR baggage.
-not defining the relationship. what are the parameters? communication 👀
-no intention.

[FreedomPrivilege]

One of the things I enjoy the most of The BEAT and Allen's messages like this is his openness about how it also has applied to him. His transparency is very a refreshing one among pastors.

[emilyoglesby]

Something I see in my church a lot is single people (even when they are out of college and have stable jobs and a heathy relationship with God) just waiting for God to drop a person into their lap. People, ESPECIALLY women, if you are at an age and stability where you are ready to start looking for a marriage, you HAVE to put in effort. Be mindful and prayerful about it, but don’t expect God to do all of the work in this situation! Be prayerful in guidance when starting to go on dates, but GO ON DATES AND TALK TO THE OPPOSITE SEX.

[mtngrl]

I'm going to sound old school ( Skool) but stay off dating sites, it attracts Narcissists, Players, and people already in relationships. Meet people the old way from church, groups that focus on other Christians and activities. When I got transparent that I was looking for a mate, it was that it was similar to finding a job, having that level of focus.

Can't stress enough being equally yoked. Under no conditions consider anyone who isn't a Christian who practices their faith. Having their religion stated on a birth certificate is not the same as living and breathing it. Yes, it reduces the number of people one meets.

[gospelfreak]

A mistake I had made in the past was staying in a relationship I knew God didn’t want me to be in, with someone who wasn’t where I was spiritually. There was a point I was so convicted I had anxiety and I actually felt pain. So it’s very important to find someone who you can 100% say is Christian and has the same goals as you. Also don’t date young. I don’t want to date again until I know I can or am close to be able to provide for a family

[jessitabonita]

As an only child of a Roman Catholic mom and “lukewarm” LDS Mormon dad: *NO WONDER* they didn’t work out! 🤦🏻‍♀️
(It was obviously lust, since they fell for each other based on looks/personality.)

I now make sure to focus my attention on standards first _then_ physical/personality preferences by relying on Four Foundational F’s:

1. *Faith*
(Already theologically equally yoked so values are the same, not trying to convert them for my own desire.)

2. *Family*
(more than if you agree on wanting children, do you want to _BE_ a parent? How much do you want to be actively involved with them or would you prefer to outsource parental responsibilities to strangers at some day care for us to both work?)

3. *Fitness*
(Do they treat their body as a temple or a trash can? What about what they allow their mind to consume: junk media or edifying media/books? Are they dogmatic with their diet, like a vegan vs. carnivore?)

4. *Finances*
(debt slave impulsive spender or actively investing for your financial future to hedge against inflation? Selfish or giving? Do they even have a desire to learn/grow or do they choose to have a “poor mindset?”)

[lovenakesner]

To add a few more..
*not knowing who you are before getting into a relationship with someone else.this one is so vital because you'll start losing your self little by little.

*Thinking every Christian man / woman is "the one".

* Poor communication skills.being able to communicate well is not just for marriage, it starts in the dating phase.And it can either make or break your relationship.


*Just a few things I've learned along the way.

[nakitaj.]

I've always made the mistake of being unequally yoked, overlooking red flags and settling for less. I wised up by seeking God and staying alone until God is ready to send me my husband.

[lukiekeyz]

*pops out notebook*… thanks for this Allen.

I’ve made quite a few of these in my seasons. Another thing we have to watch out for is allowing our emotions to convince us that this is what God wants… sometimes even to the point where we literally say “God told me this is the 1” etc. I’ve seen that happen before. One person was convinced this relationship was it and the other person was on a whole different wavelength.

[amandarecoveryjones]

his wedding pictures!!!! so beautiful!!!!

[janellestoermer]

This is really good. I'm happily married, but when Iw as single in my 20's, I had a lot of issues with guys not wanting to do the Defining the Relationship. It was so hurtful and confusing. My husband was the first guy who actually defined things and was clear that he wanted marriage (as I did).

[latresemilton]

Great video! Definitely made some of these mistakes. Dating with no intention was a repeat offense. I'm nearly 40 and haven't been on a date in 5 years. I've grown to love my singleness and if that's what God wants for my life, I wouldn't be mad at Him. God bless all of you who are actively dating. I know it's not easy out here in times such as these....

[michelleadebiyi]

3:54 good point here. Even in friendships. I told myself that if I feel like someone is doing something that I don’t like, or doesn’t make me comfortable, i am going to address it idc how it makes them feel because my feelings matter and I’m not responsible for how someone reacts to what I say.

[hwd]

Elisabeth Eliot said, Never tell your date you love them, unless the next words are, Will you marry me?

[thebrokeentrepreneur]

If I may add, I was watching a Dave Ramsey video, and he said something relating to this topic. You have a winner relationship if you both can agree on these 4 things. Money, How to raise the children, Religion, and how you are going to deal with the in-laws. If two people can agree on these 4 things, the both of you are headed in the right direction.

[STRENGTHFROMABOVE]

Quit being discouraged because something didn’t work out the way you wanted. Don’t live frustrated because somebody left that you wanted to stay, a door closed that you wanted open. God knows what He’s doing. He has your best interest at heart. You may not see it now, but one day, you’ll see what He was up to and you’ll be glad He closed the door. You’ll thank Him for not answering that prayer.