Do I Really Need To Own A Home? | Asked & Answered

This is the fifth episode of our 6-part capsule series, Asked & Answered. Co-hosted by TFD founder Chelsea Fagan & Erin Lowry of Broke Millennial, this series is dedicated to answering your personal money questions, from budgeting and investing basics, to navigating the financial headlines of our current political climate.

[Coreythegreyhound]

Please extend this beyond 6 weeks. It’s so calming to my spirit. If you don’t I will settle for rewatching this series until I can recite it verbatim but I’d prefer new content. Also I now have 15 secret bank accounts!!!!

[smilesdays]

As a lesbian, I cant really give an opinion on how women decide to navigate their financial relationships within a hetero partnership. However, i feel like a lot of people are missing chelsea's perspective on gender roles and financials. In a political, financial, and social system that historically has protected men and expects women to provide more labor in the household regardless of income level, chelsea is saying that women need to protect themselves first not only against the man, but against the systems in place that will screw her over if shes not careful. Maybe you dont agree with all the details but I feel like a lot people are missing the point of making a relationship equitable and safe for both partners where theres a real or perceived power imbalance.

[angimurphy]

Asked and Answered needs to STAY!! 6 weeks is not nearly enough!! 🥰 The two of you together make for literally the BEST possible financial advice and are such a pleasure to watch/listen to!! More please!!! 🤩 (From a Gen-Xer who has learned SO much from you both, and shared with my Millennial sisters) 😊

[diospyrose]

“You don’t know the person you’re divorcing” is such cutting, prescient advice. Erin is 🔥🔥

[yusufibrahim]

The issue is that either the renter or the owner must in some way pay insurance and property taxes if they want a "permanent roof" with utilities like electricity, gas and water. Because of this, many people—at least in California, where I currently reside—are living in tents. No taxes, rent, mortgages, or insurance. The number of people who tell me they live in their car that I meet amazes me. Its crazy out here!

[cdrhom]

As a member of the LGBTQ community, I prefer the security of buying rather than having to constantly worry that the landlord will randomly decide not to renew my lease because they perceive me as an undesirable tenant.

[ear]

In a time where Dave is still saying “rent is throwing your money away” and “you’re stupid for paying for childcare” this channel is so refreshing. I love this asked and answered series ❤

[Kaiplaylists]

As someone who well and truly can not afford a house, but whose rent costs less than 30% of my income, I really appreciate this.

[thetaarakian]

The thing that was always taught to me. Buying a home isn't about a financial investment. It's about retirement. It's about having a paid off home when you retire, because you won't be able to afford increasing rent once you are on a fixed income. Or at least it would be incredibly difficult compared to if you had a paid off home. Rent never ends, a mortgage eventually does. Now, when rents were low, I would say that this wasn't exactly true cost wise. But my last apartment tried to up my rent by 800$ a month on the second year of my rental in 2023.

[everyusernameistakenomfg]

I'm 25 and I've lived in 5 apartments. Every single one of them was impossible to get someone out for maintenance. I've dealt with mold, icicles INSIDE, leaking roof, abhorrent It costs me SO much to rent, and I never get my money's worth. I want to have my own home with my own problems and my own solutions. I give up with landlords and rental companies.

[Novatrixs]

Speaking as a female homeowner, it would be a dealbreaker if a partner demanded equity in my house.
I would expect no different from a male homeowner.

If they wanted to move into my house, we can negotiate a below market rate rent. Or, if we were to purchase a house together, I would be willing to sell and put up an equal amount of downpayment to what they bring to the table for a new property. But I am not giving up any of MY financial security that was earned prior to the relationship just because there may be a perceived power imbalance.

[lizziebirch]

I find the getting married before buying together debate very interesting because in the UK its more and more normal for life partners to not bother getting married because there's no religious pressure anymore. But lots of people still buy houses/have kids together/stay together long term without marriage

[kimstryitchannel]

I had the opposite situation of one of your questions here. I owned my home and my boyfriend at the time, now husband, moved in with me and I charged him rent and half of utilities. It was still a better deal than he would have had if he got his own apartment so I felt it was fair. If things hadn’t worked out between us, yes he helped me pay my mortgage but he also had a place to live for that time. I see no problem with someone paying when they move in with a significant other. If the tables were turned and he owned the place, I’d pay something towards it and help with utilities and I wouldn’t think twice.

[rosagudny]

I feel very seen with Chelsea's comments about moving in with a guy into his home, wish I had gotten this advice sooner. I ended up being an unpaid maid plus full time studies and work because "I wasn´t contributing to it financially". It is so important to chose your partner wisely.

[MissiveCauseIMissYou]

My siblings and I purchased a multi-unit home. We treated it very seriously and all signed contracts with each other with a lot of contingencies in place. Interest rates and prices were high, unfortunately, but we decided buying was for us because 1) we found an "ugly" property with good bones in a great, stable neighborhood with a lot of space for the city, 2) buying the property allowed one of our siblings to move back into the city and go back to school, 3) the location and space allowed another sibling to expand her small business and make a more stable income, and 4) we are planning to be here for the long run, possibly as a forever home, therefore we knew we could wait out the high interest rates. And there's a competitive rental marker so if one or all of us decided to move out we could rent out one or all units. In the end it's worked out for us well, but there are SO many factors for you to consider!!!

[monicafred]

I don’t agree on the whole “never pay rent to a partner” thing. I think it depends on the details of the situation. If it’s market rent, then no, unless they sweeten the deal with something else. If it’s significant below market rent and the person genuinely wants to live there, then why not? Create an agreement regarding how things will work with regards to chores and cleanliness standards, property issues and maintenance, what expenses are shared and at what ratios, how move out will work at the request of either party, and any other issue (private vs shared spaces, or clarity on pet ownership for example), and then honestly you’ve mitigated a lot of the usual issues.

I’ve known quite a few people who did this. Some stayed together, and some didn’t. Most people on both sides seem happy with the decision.

[Christophe-Manga]

What ever happened to buying a house because I love a community and want to stay in it for the foreseeable future? Everything's a market to be timed and speculated against that you need to use to get ahead or fall behind 😭

[shef]

Everyone is talking about houses like an asset and it’s a risk and the cost, etc. but I’m terrified to survive in retirement without one. I am lower income and have no clue how I will afford healthcare, food, utilities, long term care insurance AND rent after I retire. I’m fewer than 30 years from retirement and no clue how I could buy a house now to survive in a future with no social programs.

[skylarnicole]

My fiance (boyfriend at move in) (M) moved into my house (f) and it bothers me that I'm told that he is free loading off of me (I make double the income he does). When we had the conversations of money upon move in, he didn't want any legal rights to my home. He is legally my tenant. He pays 30% of his base pay plus half utilities. He is paying less for rent than he did living alone. He also has no debt and I have a large amount. His contribution has allowed me to pay down my debt as well. I find there to be a lot of double standards on this topic when the woman has more money and assets in a hetero relationship. I would like to hear your perspective on this role reversal

[boroqcat]

Until the tax code is fundamentally rewritten to not incentivize the exploitation of depreciation (largest and simplest tax shelter), government subsidized home ownership will always be the most readily accessible generational wealth building tool available to the working class and above.



Tax wealth and not work!!