How Our Past Influences Our Present

A lot of the way we see reality has been influenced, and often distorted, by our past. Our childhoods, which went on a long time, have shaped how we assess other people, ourselves and our prospects. Knowing about our innate biases allows us to liberate ourselves from certain settled but unhelpful habits of the mind.

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[Plinious]

It's painful to hear because I had a terrible childhood and I still feel it today.

[Chiradori]

My past influences my present so much I often lose myself in hours of relieving the past instead of doing something. It mostly happens after I wake up, following a realistic dream. Because of that I don't even know if what I think happened in the past really happened or was it just another dream...

[bolivar]

1. Michael Jordan once said that when he plays basketball he sees patterns. So he sees where every player stands in that moment and where the ball is and then he intuitively recognises a pattern he had seen before, then he senses where the ball will go and reacts accordingly and gets it! I thought this was so fascinating and may be we could have this in mind as a metaphor when we look back at our lives:

So if we could recognise the " repetitive patterns" in our past, ( especially around relationships ) we could surely gain more power over our future. Let's say you had an abusive parent and therefore you always fall for the same kind of abusive partner, because, as sad as it sounds, he makes you feel " at home". Then, just by recognising this, you can be more "aware" next time, and keep away from that type.

Psychologist William James said:

"My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those things which I notice shape my mind".

Looking at your past properly, gives you the clues about what you should attend to in the future. So the more " aware" you are of what had been done to you back then, the more you can free yourself from the curse of the past and take better, healthier decisions.

What Kirkegaard said makes a lot of sense:

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards"

2. And Eric Kandel says:

" We are what we remember" .

At this point, especially those of us who had a very troubled childhood, do need help.

Because even if you remember every situation of abuse years later, you still don't know what to do with all that.

Wittgenstein says:

" All I know is what I have words for".

But we don't always have the words to describe our sorrow and pain.

Sometimes it takes the wisdom and compassion of another person, to make sense of your own story. He may be the one to find the right words to describe your suffering.
This is such a wise proverb:

" You can't read the label from inside the jar".

That's why from all the psychotherapy books I have read, I am convinced that a good shrink can change the course of your life.

If you have doubts about it I highly recommend you the books by Irvin Yalom and Gabriel Rolon. They simply tell you the stories of their patients and in which ways they could help them.It is always very touching to see how much one man can help another...


3. There is an incredible, unforgettable " Radiolab" podcast about the ways we remember our lives. The episode is called " Memory and Forgetting".

4. " On Being With Krista Tippett" podcast with the trauma expert Bessel Van Der Kolk as guest is also full of valuable insights. The episode is called " How Trauma Lodges in the Body".

5. Meditation helps enormously. What we need the most on earth is clarity of mind and compassion. Because as they say:

" We don't see the world as it is, but we see it as we are".

So if you wish to start meditating I highly recommend you a lecture from Yale University which is on youtube. Just search for:

" Yale, Human Emotions, Mindfulness II "

The professor there recommends the following guided meditation podcast which you can find on Itunes for free:

" UCLA Hammer Meditation".

Thank you for this very valuable lesson!

[binauralmindmusic-relaxing]

So, our present influences the future.

[cloudyreader]

I love your work. It has helped through a really tough time. I feel like I have grown up more once I have started watching you than ever before. Thank you for the great work. <3

[m.offord]

My past has made some parts of my present life so difficult. I wish I could wipe the slate clean and be happy and carefree again. I wish the video could give me advice on overcoming these issues.

[a.d.b]

Don"t limit our impacting experiences to childhood; the 20's and beyond can be very inpactful, especially with a protected childhood.

[SweetLilWren]

So often your videos move me to tears with epiphanies and revelations about myself.
Thanks(?)

[Geordina]

Fits well with an essay I'm currently trying to write on Good Will. It doesn't however go enough in detail to how sensitive we as people are to our environment. Someone who behaves badly isn't a bad person, they are most likely in unfortunate circumstances of high stress / anxiety, and are overwhelmed by their environmental and historical pressure.
Combining meditation and self analysis does help me a little with dealing with the stress and allow me to formulate strategies to change my environment or my own attitude.

[Maracujakeks]

The voiceover and animation of this video was so soothing!

[theresistance]

Our perception is not always reality....and sometimes...it is. Everything is subjective to personal experience and trying to understand another is paramount.

[johnfalconer]

I had a difficult childhood and adolescence, made lots of mistakes, struggled with addictions etc.I got into recovery and did quite well for 12 years. After a very destructive toxic relationship ended over 5 years ago I relapsed and have a criminal record that prevents me getting work.
To say I have regrets is a huge understatement.Thanks for sharing this video.

[shannongriffin]

Our past is our present since we only live a mere 70 years of age. This is why we should try to ALWAYS do good

[Hyperions]

But we can’t let our past ruin our present.

[adammitchell]

Everything is BRAND NEW ALL THE TIME!!

[jintymcginty]

These videos should be shown to people from 15 years old daily instead of/along with going to school

[adammitchell]

There is no thought there ...only perception ..only harmony ...only the absolute ..it is beyond concious communication of thought ..

[AlizaJayne]

This lady’s voice is so wonderful!! I’d love to hear her do a soft-spoken or whispered ASMR vid!!

[aldelgado]

rough childhood makes you very doubtfull about everything

[kallemick]

Wow this really made me think about how much the past has influenced me.... I am very obsessed with the past and everything and everyone in it but the test near the end actually made me realise how... Dark everything is in my head... It feels as though i just about hate or get annoyed by everything but this video actually made me think of WHY that is rather than "That is just how it is"