AITA for refusing to change the date of my daughters bday party to accommodate my SILs baby shower?

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Dusty Thunder narrates stories from Reddit, follower submissions, and other sources and provides reactions.

AITA for refusing to change the date of my daughter's birthday party to accommodate my SILs baby shower?
Follower Submission

#storytime #redditstories #storyreaction #voiceover #asconscale #aita

[Rose_Nightingale]

Dusty, the fact that you're struggling on this one surprises me! SIL went no contact for 11 YEARS out of blue by HER choice, and now, all of sudden, she wants to pop back with the "I'm pregnant. Your 16 year old child's birthday doesn't matter, and it should all be about me and my new baby, but mostly me." OP is nta for refusing to change the date of her daughter's birthday party.

[Tempted_Lotus]

Didn't the baby sister ghost everyone? Why should she be accommodating

[wezzie]

NTA. She has been M.I.A. for 11 years. As far as I’m concerned, the sister is a non-factor. Also, the older I get, the less concerned I get with situations like this. People will show up to what they want. The events are not on the same day (I believe). I’m sure, most of the people planning on going to a baby shower aren’t the same people wanting to be at a sweet 16 party. I would think the kids friends being there would be the most important. That aunt hasn’t been around since the kid was 5. She won’t be missed at a party

[yentledyas]

The fact that the family is torn between someone who ghosted them and a child who has always been there is wild to me.

[tabbie-gmn]

NTA* No, I'm afraid I have to disagree. SIL has been in NC for 11 years-her choice. Randomly??? Reconnecting with the ENTIRE family, NOW, to bow before her & her new baby. SIL still has 2 mos before birth; SHE HAS TIME. Sweet 16 is the priority; ONCE IN LIFETIME, RIGHT OF PASSAGE, & MITZFAH. SIL is maliciously attacking your firstborn for taking her brother's/her dad's affection. Dig.

[merlinathrawes]

NTA! SIL hasn't been around for 11 years and is now suddenly demanding everyone cater to her?!? Nope, not happening! While either party could be rescheduled, under the circumstances SIL needs to be the one to be accommodating in changing dates.

[BeforeTheFit]

Sister went no contact for 11 years and then randomly shows up again? OP is NTA. People knew the daughter is turning 16. I’m sure OP didn’t purposely plan it for the same day.

[bbayley]

NTA…I have a hard time believing that the SIL’s friend is only available that one day. 🙄
That being said…I disagree with you on whether she should talk to her 16 year old daughter about it. I personally don’t think that she should, because the 16 year old might feel responsible for any backlash that occurs. It’s an adult problem…not hers.

[jambalie]

Why in the world would OP change her daughter's party, when they didn't even tell her until 2 weeks ahead of time? I'm going to assume that a Sweet 16 means all the daughter's friends have already been given the date and invitations. What if her friends can't be there because OP caves to the ghosting SIL and enabling MIL? HELL NO. That kid will be way more upset if her party gets bumped and her friends can't come than if the MIL who didnt care about her birthday doesn't make it.

[silentlyjudgingyou]

This isn't adding up, we need to know where sis has been.

[mLify]

People are so weird about baby showers. I had a friend refuse to come over to say goodbye to me when I was packing to move to another city because she had to go shopping for a baby shower gift for a baby that was being adopted and wouldn't even be in the country for another year. It took me way too long to realize she was a former friend. I definitely think SIL in this story is intentionally trying to sabotage the daughter's birthday.

[SheSheBoom]

7:28 there shouldn’t be a compromise. She just popped back up, saying look at me and look at me pay attention to me after 11 years of no contact? Nah she has no say in anything really honestly.

[C_the_hard_way]

I'm so glad we all in the comments agree. Baby sister is playing games. She went NC for 11 years and I am supposed to forgo MY daughters birthday party?! Nah! Act like the last 11 years and act like little sister doesnt exist. Thats what she wanted. Dont ask the 16 year old to move her party for her aunt who ghosted the entire family for 11 years! OP is NTA! Little aister can go right to ascon 1!

[arreed]

Change the date of the birthday party but don’t go to the baby shower. This way the daughter still has her family there and makes them the good guys and the sister the AH .

[annabordelon]

If you were curious about who was the golden child even after years of NC...it's SIL Can OPs family fill in the gaps caused by hubs family?

[ivylovesrunning]

NTA

I would not change my child's party. I do not care. She can have a family baby shower another day or I would send a gift if I felt inclined to do so. She chose to go no contact and only came back when she is pregnant. Now she wants free stuff because she is having a baby!? It sounds entitled and audacious to me.

[carolstettheimer]

I mean, sounds to me like she only showed up because she wants presents.

[ebbss]

First come first serve doesn’t apply here . The SIL hasn’t been around at all. So she can respectfully stay gone.

[imartinez]

NTA speaking from experience Sweet 16s at typically planned a year or longer in advance to get venue and vendors and of course saving because not everyone has the budget to pay it all as soon as they start planning. So regardless of when invites were sent out they probably saved the day before SIL was even pregnant.

[kmbaldwin]

NTA. You can’t ghost you’re entire family for years, and then swoop back in and expect everyone to rearrange their plans to accommodate you.