What Psychologists Can Tell You About Ghosting

Ghosting is when someone terminates a relationship by ending communications abruptly and without explanation. Whether or not you'd consider ghosting someone might have a lot to do with how you view relationships in general.

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[tokyobennet]

Who’s here because someone ghosted you and you’re in agonizing pain?

[michaeljerome]

in my opinion getting ghosted is most painful way to breakup with someone. theres no closure to where the person knows what they did wrong or where to improve. even via text, it atleast makes it "official" that the two people are done. but i feel like in an abusive relationship, ghosting is a lot more acceptable.

[whatsinadeadname]

You mention potential employees ghosting as if it was unusual for that situation. It's noteworthy that ghosting is very much a normal tactic for the other side of this relationship: potential employers. "We'll get back to you" at the interview is often followed by complete silence, and failure to respond to interviewee followup attempts.

[databanks]

When trying to escape a malignant narcissist or abusive partner - ghosting becomes more of a safety option. Speaking from personal experience here.

[AutobotChick]

I like the discussion of both how this isn’t exclusive to younger generations but also has been changed by advances in technology.

[thisiscait]

I was ghosted after a 7 month relationship. We were best friends, too.. We spoke daily, he told me he loved me, he had plans to move in with me and had openly discussed his desire for eventual kids and marriage... Earlier that week he mentioned looking forward to accompanying me to my friend's wedding in a few months. As of writing this comment, I haven't heard from him or seen him in three months. He didn't contact me for my birthday a few weeks after he went silent. It fucked me up pretty badly for a long time, so... If you're reading this and are currently ghosting someone, or if it crosses your mind in the future, I urge you to reconsider. The decision is yours, so please choose to end things properly, especially if it's a long term relationship. It takes strength, but a short period of discomfort is so much better than the extended pain, questioning, self esteem damage, feelings of worthlessness and lack of closure that ghosting causes. I am a very resilient person, but the "blindsiding" nature of ghosting completely shattered me.

Do the right thing and be accountable for your actions.

[kmerrillschaecher]

Honesty is a sign of maturity. Ghosting a sign of lack of maturity. Some I think feel easy come easy go. That is someone I don’t want in my life. I am worth being told. I can handle it!

[reyr.]

People are so bad at communicating. Ghosting is selfish, immature, and narcissistic. Someone ghosted me, came back then ghosted me again. I learned my lesson now. Whenever someone starts ignoring me or ghosts me, I'll just block them. I don't need this type of toxicity in my life.

[WeeWeeJumbo]

Be brave enough to be kind. Leave no wreckage in your wake.

[DJNHmusic]

I think ghosting happens for one of two reasons: one is that the ghoster simply doesn't care about other people's feelings (lack of empathy), and the other that they feel that they aren't able or are too afraid to properly communicate the end of a relationship and the reasons for it (a lot of people probably aren't even sure why they're ending it anyway). It's happened to me and it's quite cruel. If you don't at least get feedback what you did wrong, or even if you did anything wrong, it can haunt you forever. Everyone deserves an honest explanation.

[renatoloureiro]

The most difficult part of being ghosted nowadays is that social media allows you to see the "ghoster" carrying on with their lives while you are still trying to recover. This is horrible because you start speculating about the reasons for being ghosted in the first place

[missdoll]

excuse me.. employers ALSO ghost employee's and potential employees. don't put it only on employees

[jenniekelly]

I've been ghosted, and I think ghosting is an immature act by an immature person. If you can't break up with someone face to face or at least over the phone, you need to learn more about relationships....

[waxwinged_hound]

I'd rather someone TELL me that I'm awful and unloveable and they never wanna see me again, yaknow? It's something I'm used to anyway.

[naominekomimi]

Ghosting is kind of a monstrous thing to do. I seriously question the empathetic ability of people who can sleep at night after having ghosted someone.

[saddieahsan]

If you think about it, ghosting is selfish. Some people need closure and not having it can really mess with their heads

[amandalicorne]

I ghosted an emotionally abusive boyfriend before. I had already tried to break it off and he flew into a terrifying rage.

[mmilcz]

When I was severely depressed I was really good at ghosting. Trying to quit doing that. It’s a bad avoidance coping mechanism in my case.
Edit: I just want to specify that I’m not talking about romantic relationships and I never ghosted anyone permanently. I’m talking about not replying to family and friends for a couple of days, maybe a month or two at most. This has nothing to do with abuse or cowardice. It’s a bad thing to do but my family always knew I was safe. I’ve never abandoned anyone and left them to wonder if I’m even alive. I’m in a close knit circle of family and friends and everyone always knows how I’m doing. People deal with many difficult things so please don’t be rude.

[lovehandles]

A year ago I was ghosted by someone who I had romantic feelings for. We shared many special moments, and I really had hope that I found the one. Several months in, He started going silent out of the blue, leaving me on seen. Eventually blocking me on all platforms, , I was so sad and confused, and had no idea what was going on.

I eventually found out he was cheating on me and decided to settle for the other person. The whole experience left me with deep insecurities and lasting mental health issues, That to this day, I typed into YouTube the topic of ghosting, to come across this video. I tried so hard to be good
To him, because I really thought this could be a promising relationship,

Half a year later, I learned that the person he cheated on me with, cheated on him and dumped him. That made me feel a little better, because he experienced at-least a fraction of what he put me through.

I decided I will never ever ghost someone, because I know what it can lead to.

[chubtuggins]

Ghosting: a polite way of describing how cowards deal with adversity.