Overcoming Approach Anxiety - A Paradoxically Scientific Solution

Approach anxiety is one of the most common issues preventing men from meeting and dating the kinds of women they want to have in their lives.

But a fear of talking to women doesn't have to stop you from approaching women.

Unfortunately, most men think about approach anxiety the completely wrong way, they get fixated on trying to fix or abolish, or destroy it, rather than learning to work on your willingness to approach women even when you're feeling scared.

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School Of Attraction

Dating And Relationship Coach

I've been doing cold approaches (mostly day game, but night game too) for nearly 6 years. I had approach anxiety for the first 5 years, especially my first 2 years. Now, I barely feel anxious. Do what scares you first, the confidence comes after. I repeat, do what sacred you FIRST, the confidence comes afterwards. Keep taking small steps forward.

[TheTurbonisse]

Thanks Damien! I think this is a real good advice. Feels like it impossible to just fight the anxiety, Iwill try your approach !

[caitlinvenespanol]

Me encanta tu enfoque. Deshacerse de la ansiedad es un proceso y a veces es algo con lo que aprendes a vivir. Eso no quiere decir que no puedas atraer mujeres (como bien dices).
Gracias por información tan valiosa :)

[AaronD]

Whatever you resist, PERSISTS. I cant recommend confidence hypnosis/meditation enough, its calmed down my nerves on a deeper subconscious level. Most of us grow up with very disciplinary parents that make us question ourselves and in turn we lack the confidence to be well rounded men. Meditation addresses your issues at the root instead of using will power to push through. Its changed my life and can change yours if you're open minded and vulnerable enough to try.

[stevenhs]

Like Sir Lawrence Olivier who said he never overcame stage fright but still managed to be a great actor.

[BangMaster]

Detach your actions from your feelings. Act based on what you must accomplish regardless of how you feel.

[dreplays]

I went to the club the the other night for the second time ever and I failed to dance with anyone because of approach anxiety and felt so defeated. Damian is right but it’s still so hard sometimes

[philochristos]

This is basically exposure therapy. I read about it in a book called _Face Your Fears_ by David Tolin. It's good advice, and it really does work.

[adambaker]

I've never felt more called out in a youtube video in my life lmfao

[christopherbowers]

Super great video once again Damian I love the content helps me a lot

[BryJovi]

I don't go on most theme park rides because I suffer motion sickness 🙃 The tiny miniscule moment of fun is not worth the long enduring lethargic feelings I have after them. So similarly, unless there is almost a guaranteed greater level of fun to outweigh the amount of anxiety and negative feelings by approaching women, it's something that's very difficult to navigate

[jirkazalabak]

I don´t actually feel much anxiety when going on theme park rides. It´s all on rails, and as long as you hold on and keep some tension in your muscles, you will be fine. Also, the feeling of speed, or even zero gravity, is just awesome. It also happens every single time you go, although admittedly, it gets less awesome with repetition. In other words, you get a reliable result each time you go.

Approaching is completely different. You have to go through an extremely uncomfortable experience only to get a negative result (rejection) most of the time, which makes me feel even worse afterwards. Honestly, the chances of any positive result are so small that I wonder what the point is sometimes, especially compared to how horribly I feel after failing at it. It´s like gambling with the bet being your own mental health.

[martintheguitarist]

Social anxiety is the most stable trait over a person's life. Even 50 years later people score about the same. See the research on the MMPI social introversion scale.

[georgekomarov]

It's all good, but can we take a minute to appreciate that deer animation?

[exnihilonihilfit]

For those who want more on this idea, and much more, buy and read "The Confidence Gap" by Russ Harris (or anything else on Acceptance Commitment Therapy).

[adambaker]

So to comment on exactly the 2:19 question

My initial response out loud was "well sure but that is unlikely"

As the idea of continuing to approach even with the anxiety I feel? Impossible atm simply put.

[elijahdickhaus]

I can approach women when they are alone...but if you are talking "out" in a nightlife situation this is like... you might see this one in a thousand nights and she likely isn't pretty....I can't imagine ever being able to approach an entire group let alone successfully taking one of them home.

[redsky]

Any chance you going to bring back the 3 month program? Was thinking of doing it but looks like I am late

[redsky]

Any tips on how to develop social skills? At the moment, I try to do as many meet up groups as possible - soccer, drama, hiking. Do you guys think it is a good strategy to develop social skills?

[grawakendream]

i dont trust people who say they have no approach anxiety. that may be true but then i cant relate to them so their advice has no value