3 Kinds of Friends (and Why 'Growth Friends' Matter Most)

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SUMMARY:
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To my continual surprise, most people don’t have a real grasp on how vital their friendships are to their overall mental health and happiness. In study after study, researchers from a variety of disciplines continually find that the quality of our immediate friendship-based relationships is one of the most important factors in determining our overall stability, mood, ambition, emotional range, growth, and satisfaction in life.

In our friendships, it’s useful to heed this warning: Be careful whom you surround yourself with. while that counsel seems like kitchen-table wisdom, you’d be surprised by who most people invite to their tables of friendship. You’d also be surprised how many people barely invite anyone to their tables. The average American has only one or two close friends. That’s unfortunate, but it does give us a ready clue to how they can immediately increase their life satisfaction.

Here, I share 3 types of friends:

Old Friends, who you had a great connection with once but you no longer need to feel guilty about not hanging out with. You had your time together in a specific part of your life - honor it but let it go.

Maintenance Friends, who you keep in touch with once or a few times per year just to "maintain" the connection. Set these folks up on reminders in your calendar but don't feel so bad you don't connect more.

Growth Friends, who you will continually deepen relationships with today and in the future - these are great friends you want more time and adventure with. FOCUS HERE!

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ABOUT BRENDON
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Brendon Burchard is one of the most watched personal development trainers in the world, and a Top 100 Most Followed Public Figure on Facebook. Over 50,000,000 people watched his videos in the last 12 months, more than 30,000,000 see his posts every week on Facebook, and 600,000-plus students have completed his online courses or video series, making him one of the most successful online instructors in history. A #1 New York Times, #1 Wall Street Journal, and #1 USA Today bestselling author, his books include The Motivation Manifesto, The Charge, The Millionaire Messenger, and Life’s Golden Ticket. Brendon is also the star and executive producer of the #1 self-help solo series on YouTube, and his podcast The Charged Life debuted at #1 on iTunes.

After suffering depression and surviving a car accident at the age of 19, Brendon began asking himself important life questions: “Did I truly live today? Did I love? Did I matter?” His intention to be happy with the answers led to his breakthrough and life's work helping others “live a fully charged life.” By the age of 32, he became a #1 bestselling author and a multimillionaire as an early pioneer in the online education space. Since then, he has dedicated his life to helping others find their charge, deepen their motivation and strength, and share their true voice with the world.

Larry King named Brendon "one of the top motivation and marketing trainers in the world." SUCCESS Magazine named him as one of the Top 25 Most Influential Leaders in Personal Growth and Achievement, along with Oprah, Deepak Chopra, Joel Osteen, and Arianna Huffington.

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ABOUT THE CHARGED LIFE
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[brandonwhistler]

I needed this! As I move in to a new chapter in my life focusing on personal growth and my passion I realize how many people around me aren't on my level. I have found happiness within myself and love spending time alone. I believe new friends will manifest when they are available to me without feeling like I had to go out and find them.

[shellbell]

It's so interesting seeing all of the comments below - I feel exactly the same. I think when you are in your 30's or 40's, sadly often it's hard to find people who are fired up about their personal growth. I know a couple of my friends are either bored or think I'm a bit weird when I talk about this stuff. I am soon going to start a learning program to become a personal growth coach. I'm hoping I meet some like-minded people there who become true friends.

[InnerHorizonLed]

As much as I HATE categories, labels and such, this video really helped out. My bond or relationship with each person I feel comfortable calling "friend" is different and does need specification. The guilt is not needed. And because change is always constant, any friend in any of the categories detailed in this video may move in and out of categories. Letting those changes happen organically, if they do,  is the real beauty of friendship and life in general. Thank you much for the insight you shared, Brendan.

[Logical_Motivation]

I let go of people who aren't serving me my life. Has we get older, we have to let some people go and move on for better things and new doors will open for you.

[Newfuturebuilder]

Quality friendships are excellent for a happy life. Keeps that balance in your life. I'm trying to do better with my maintenance friends and I want to make sure my growth friends don't turn into maintenance friends.

[AnnKleinOnline]

I have struggled with how to categorize my friends with out feeling guilty or burn bridges. As I move forward in this new chapter, your message totally will help me to create the boundaries needed to accomplish my goals and dreams others who have similar goals and dreams, without staying stuck trying to bring the past into the future. A light went on!

[wyethhan]

I realize that one of my growth friends would be my future husband.. True friends are hard to find!!thank you Brandon, God bless you.. Please keep on sharing with us..lovelots from the Visayas of the Philippines!

[ali_films]

Thanks a lot for the video. Very helpful. Unfortunately these days it's difficult to find growth friends. If you have one or two, hold on to them.

[Shystichu]

As I change and grow, I realize I need people more aligned with who I am becoming. Obviously that causes a conflict with my old friends as they seem to stay pretty much in their lane (stagnate) they've settled into who they are, and are very comfortable. And that's perfectly fine, I'm not judging. But for me personally, I have to continue to grow, I have to continue to press on and achieve more. Now the big thing in my life is that is happening with my girlfriend. And that's where my guilt is par se, I'm trying to get her aligned with me but it's proving to be taxing.

[Suresh-jnmx]

dun watch this man's video before going to bed, you will get motivated instantly and will lose the sleep LOL... but i never missed to watch his videos ..he's like a mentor for me...awesome Brendon...

[TilSkywalker]

Finding a growth friend... Earlier or later I really have to get that achieved somehow. Thank you for all the videos Brendon! They help many people to understand their minds more!

[gabriellecoffman]

Thank you. This alleviates alot of guilt I've been feeling lately about folks I've been close with in the past but no longer vibe with now...

[Northlandermn]

This is the best idea I have heard in years. Needed this advice for years. Thanks so much.

[CrisisRescue]

Brendon - what a transformer. He is definitely the guy to follow his training. He never stops delivering content. Wow - he's inspiring and just so motivating to be around.

For me, I think it is important to do an "inventory" of your contacts, friends, and family members - and evaluate if you (me in this case) - am I "contributing to their lives in a positive way" - or am I being an energy vampire in some way? Secondly, if we are stuck in some way, then look at where is the relationship stalling - physically, emotionally, mental connection, spiritually - or something that is subconscious that needs to be talked out to find out what is going on. Then, for me, I do my best to give like 150% to the people in my life that I truly treasure - will be with through thick and thin. Some for me go back to when I was a pre-teen - and others are newer. I have also learned that sometimes you just have to meet people 'where they are at' - and not expect them to be 100% in alignment with my thinking I love people who will mentally challenge me. I don't want my go-to team to be "yes" people - sometimes I need to be called on my blind spots.

[dokturJK]

Hi, Brendon! I have actually found your channel as an inredibly good English, natural English guide. Now though I am.genuinly stunned about how wise these videos are. Its really changing people life and point of view. Thanks a lot for huge work which you do for us.

[Mrbeattheone]

Your videos have definitely gave me the encouragement I needed.

[andredasilva]

This is very valid. My feeling is that friend are parasitic - meaning, that there is a reason why there are a connection. You use them for a reason (whatever that may be) and visa vera.

[samaraSmilesAtme]

This video makes me smile and miss my friends, giving them a call in a few! Thanks Brendon you never fail to inspire me <3

[glowingfacestrust]

very nice description of something very important. God bless you !

[mangosteenmangosteen]

you will be my "great video friend." I like you because you always made me feel very positive and happy and I am now a more caring and compassionate person after watching your videos. Everyday, I will at least watch one of your video. This idea of "good video friend" came after watching this tape. I will keep you as one. Thanks for making a kind person. :) I am very glad to have you as my "video friend. "