Avoid The Traps Of Modern Dating & Attract Aligned Love | Sadia Khan

Psychologist and Relationship Expert Sadia Khan reveals the #1 reasons that are keeping us single and how to navigate the mess of modern dating. She and André delve into the complexities of modern dating and explore key aspects that contribute to its challenges. From deciphering the intricacies of choosing the right partner to overcoming past traumas and establishing healthy relationship templates, this episode offers practical advice and insights to set yourself up for romantic success.
Sadia breaks down the often-debated topic of the "Boss Babe" mentality versus the biological clock, exploring tension between personal aspirations and pressures related to relationships and family planning. She also reveals the top green flags to look for in a partner, understanding someone's love language, and navigating polarity in relationship.
Finally, they shed light on the often-misunderstood aspects of gender dynamics in hetero-sexual couples, addressing the common misconceptions men may have about women's perspectives and needs, fostering empathy and understanding between genders.

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Timecodes:
0:00 Intro
1:33 Why Modern Dating is a Mess
7:10 How to Set Yourself Up For Success
9:57 The Trouble with Social Media, OnlyFans, and Narcissism
17:27 Choosing the Right Partner: How to Align Your Values & Behaviors
20:34 Overcoming Trauma & Making a New Template for Relationships
22:59 Why Some Long-term Relationships Fail
30:05 Boss Babe Mentality vs The Biological Clock
37:03 The Problem with Seeking a Partner
40:11 Polarity in Long Term Relationships
42:08 Green Flags in Relationship
44:08 Dealbreakers & Falling in Love with Someone's Potential
51:10 Love Languages & Giving/Receiving Balance
1:00:10 Self Sourcing Happiness after Success
1:02:42 Knowing Yourself & Facing Your Shadow
1:03:34 The #1 Hack to Personal Growth
1:06:56 How to Know When to Leave
1:10:30 The Truth About Cheating & Attraction
1:16:17 Men Don’t Understand This About Women
1:19:11 Do You Need A Leader in a Relationship?
1:20:25 Women Don't Understand This About Men
1:29:28 Release Desire and Gain Self Control
1:31:53 Conclusion

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Sadia Khan is a relationship coach who has dedicated her social presence to helping individuals and couples navigate the complexities of modern relationships. Her passion for helping people build fulfilling and lasting connections has guided her on this meaningful journey.

Sadia holds a BSc in Psychology, Master's in Education and Developmental psychology, Qualified Teachers Status, Diplomas in Psychotherapy, Advanced CBT, Psychoanalysis, and Inner Child Healing.

Her academic training and extensive practical experience allow her to offer well-rounded and evidence-based guidance.

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Know Thyself

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André Duqum

Meraki Media

[Newtonwilson-ywkg]

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.

[PrometheusMonk]

She makes a good point about the female behaviors that men reward. Underlying this problem is the need of men to be taught to control their sexuality which I also relate to the problem of the lack of Initiation for men in our culture. Controlling sexual energy doesn't mean repressing, but learning how to utilize it as an asset rather than being a slave to it. It isn't easy and takes years of practice. But there are no voices in our culture trying to impart this to young men. The best we have is some influencers simply saying, 'Stop looking at porn!' But no surprise that the most powerful organic force on Earth is incredibly destructive when it isn't properly utilized.

[stacysteele]

My number one quality im looking for in a partner Is someone who values integrity as I do. Someone who is very consistent in their behavior and doing the right thing.

[askmisty]

“Control what you currently desire for long term vision of self..”

[coolbreeze]

I agree. It's wild how people get married with someone who they've never gotten into a disagreement with or have seen genuinely angry. I think it's good to be in stressful situations with your partner near the beginning of your relationship to see how they react. Do they avoid conflict or are they confrontational? Do they look for solutions or do they pout in the corner? Do they get violent and aggressive? Their reaction can be a deal breaker and can outweigh many other things in the relationship.
Edit: Stress, disagreements and anger are not necessarily bad things. Everyone feels it on occasion. It's the matter of how a person expresses their anger or feelings of stress that might be incompatible with you.

[TinaMadjanovic]

I am always blown away by this woman's honesty and willingness to speak the truth. A couple of years ago, her blanket statements would have triggered the fuck out of me - now that I am willing to recognise myself in them, I find myself being flooded with relief and cheering her on. Sweet common sense! There is a reason why stereotypes are stereotypes. The New Cage spiritual bypassing in romantic partnerships is causing and hiding massive amounts of suffering and dysfunction in the name of "healing" and "evolution" - it's about time we got real!

[ashley]

I LOVE to hear that more women in their 20s arent committing to having children. We have healing to do in our lifetimes & we change constantly. Hopefully for the better! I KNEW I didnt want kids when I was very young & it was a trauma response. After 7 years of healing I would love a child now but if I had kids in my 20s, without question I would have accidentally destroyed their sense of self because i didnt have that to offer. Disagree firmly on that one. If you dont feel called to motherhood, my God don't have them just because you can or because you think they will heal you some way. They wont!

[ChildofGod]

I trust in you Lord carry me as I struggle to provide for my children. As a single mother things can be challenging. Both of my sons are special needs yet I’m so blessed to have them they are my life. God please hear my prayers protect me and my children from homelessness. Give me Strength as I struggle to pay the bills. Bless me to be a better mother everyday.❤️

[nebana]

Finally someone down to earth talking about relationships 🙏🏽

[TheNifster]

Her message is consistent and spot on with perhaps 80% of the population...and from the standpoint of different cultures and socioeconomic positions.

[Magicisreal]

This man here is what is a perfect example and the epitome of a divine masculine!❤ I actually think the only problem we have, Maybe it's the massive lack and the elusiveness of divine masculine and divine feminine here-- and the only fix, is it be the "OTHER WAY AROUND"!!

[teapot]

Sadia has a lot of knowledge coupled with common sense and shes also very street wise. A fantastic guest, I really appreciate this conversation thank you both 🙏❤️

[capitanomics]

I disagree that men's sex drive doesn't decrease with age. Wise men channel more of their sex drive into creative endeavors at work, art, career, family, purpose etc. as they age. The sex drive at 15 was untammed and wild. At 27 to 65 it tends to become more skillfully managed and channeled.

[paritroiana]

I totally agree about having children. I see that with my son. Being the only child caused a sense of selfishness in him. Having a child of his own opened his heart to think outside of himself. Life is no longer about you. There's another person who depends on you.

[Misbehave]

She saids that she’s not into the notoriety but she still wearing her Chanel earrings 😂

[Harmony.faith]

I disagree. I think marriage isn’t working out because people don’t focus on inner growth, self awareness, or self esteem. They marry for the wrong reasons and that’s why divorce rates are high. I’m single not because I have high standards but because I want a good connection. Lots of men lack depth, self awareness, and self esteem. I don’t want a broken guy. People do not know how to connect emotionally with others and this is becoming a problem in society.

[WarmFuzzyPurr]

Hmm...I'm actually baffled by this conversation. Transparently, I am in a long term committed relationship (11 years) and felt that what Sadia was sharing is very narrow, mundane and superficial in understanding. There's a lack of nuance in this dialogue, especially from her expert background. The other part of me is wondering if this is simply the level of maturation currently exhibited in dating scene? Honestly I was a bit disappointed due to the abundance of cliches and stereotypes vs. subtle, creative and solution-based insights like most of Andre's podcasts.

[foreverskeptical]

These are so well made, the editing and quality are really clean

[lynngriffin]

This has been very insightful for me. I was recently left by my gf of almost 6 years and while I’m still very sad about it, this helped me see more of our issues through a more refined lens and understand each perspective more clearly. Thank you for this wonderful podcast and for introducing me to this profound mind

[PanAfricanPrincessether]

Men sex drive and stamina does decrease as they age. I don’t know where she gets this from. It decreases a lot. Erectile dysfunction is common in older men.