The Importance of Punctuality for Autistic Adults #actuallyautistic

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As someone who usually starts preparing to leave early, and still often ends up running late, I cope by dropping the person a text as soon as I realize I'm behind, with my estimated delay and an apology; this allows me to let myself be okay with feeling annoyed at other people when they're late and act like it isn't a big deal.

dorkmania
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Me and best bud are AuDHD. I definitely learned to schedule meet ups an hour before I actually wanted to start because my friend had a hard time getting places on time.

BananaPantsChannel
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ADHD freind here. im often five of more minutes late to jist aboit anything and its always the same story. I start getting ready/wake up 10 minutes later than planned, i get ready at the speed of sound and am finished 15 minutes early in that time i sit around doing absalutly nothing but fidget and think about if i should leave early or not instead of doing one or two of the five/six things i skipped while getting ready so i wasnt late and im so worried about the time that i forget what time it actualy is and end up having to rush to be where i need to get to because i didnt notice i was still at the place i started at the time i was supposed to be at the mmet up😅

scellytoon
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I just cannot understand why people believe it's ok and acceptable to be late and then act like it's no big deal. 😖 It makes my blood boil. I always respect people's time. My husband stopped giving me times that he'd be home because I'd get irritated if he was a few minutes late. I asked him to give me realistic time-frames instead, or sometimes just no time/timeframe.

Chazzystar
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Which, being AuDHD, is why I do my darndest to not commit to a specific time if I can't guarantee it. I will give error bars if it helps. But you almost certainly aren't going to get me showing up early barring really exceptional circumstances (like having to deal with public transit, which my town doesn't even have).

watcher
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I was disagreeing at first, but if it’s somewhere you don’t feel comfortable, I totally get it.

For me, I hate being late unless I’m going to someone’s house (cuz then they haven’t had to go anywhere). But if someone is late and they give me a heads up, it’s understandable (or if I know that there’s a lot of traffic that can be unpredictable)

LesbeansSplatoon
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This one thing always messed me up emotionally. I would wait for someone who would end up not showing and I would be a mess. Much later, I learned to actually plan on them not showing up rather than getting emotional.

mrjohnklake
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I have ended friendships for this! I have time blindness, I am late, I have anxiety and I have been late in the past. Despite all of this, I now do better! It’s disrespectful to waste other peoples time, especially if you know that it causes them duress or it would cause you distress. I hate waiting around and I don’t want whomever I’m meeting to either, so if I’m going to be late, I text as early as I can to tell them, so they have a heads up and can plan accordingly. My friends do the same, we all have setbacks or don’t plan our time properly etc, but keeping people in the loop is important!

Jae-byhf
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I'm AUDHD, I'm always late but god help you if you are!

tomh
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Another reason why AuDHD = internal conflict.

ellouiseheather
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Currently only two things can get me out of my gilded cage; life or death scenarios, and meet-ups with friends. That should give people an idea of the extreme effort it takes for me to meet them somewhere. It's virtually on par with "I need to go to a hospital".

Not to mention that if they're late, I often start to wonder why, and the uncertainty causes anxiety, and then I begin to worry, and... sigh... just show up on time, folks. Please.

tcrowley
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Some of us have trouble being on time.😢 It seems the harder I try, the more things go wrong!

karens
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I take a book with me everywhere so that if my timeline gets stuffed up by someone I can escape into another world instead of feeling disregarded. Works for me

suecollins
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My assessor asked me 'What happens if you are late' I then went into a really lengthy explanation of how I research journey times, routes, Google Earth, checking what the venue looks like etc😂

elizabethmaybank
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I am going to save this and share it with people. I get so anxious and frustrated when someone is late, especially if they in turn make me late.
I made the effort to be on time and ready why can't they?!
I'm ok if they have to delay occasionally, but let me know as soon as you know you're running late, then I can cope or cancel as I see fit. If you don't tell me I'm likely to just be mad by the time you arrive.

PeculiarGirlKelly
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I did wonder why I get so stressed out about being early everywhere lol I'm so scared of being late

amyavraam
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I can't help having ADHD. I'm autistic so I'm more annoyed if I'm late than anyone else is.

Weirdisjustabrownandyellowword
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This reminds me of a place where if you arrived after two minutes before the appointed time, you were considered late.

DelticEngine
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My major beef with my wonderful S.O. : That lady is totally unreliable for being on time. She simply doesn't understand that saying you'll be there, means you'll be there, and on time, unless something unexpected and compelling held you up.

Because, it's giving your word.

darda
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Exactly because I also have to take myself out of my nice regulated space is the reason I won’t be there hanging out before time just having to be in it. On time is the goal, and if isht happens it happens. I don’t control the bus, I can only plan around when they say they’ll be there

cloudmastr