Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking Right Up And Just Asking

According to a Gallup report published Tuesday, over 95 percent of the nation's grandfathers began their careers by walking straight into a place of business, saying "I'm the man for the job," and receiving a position right there on the spot.

[BilboBaggMan]

Fun fact: This actor got the role by walking right into the studio, slammed his hand on the producers desk and said "I'm your man"

[Bhazor]

And with his first pay cheque bought a house, car and paid for his wedding to the first woman he ever kissed.

[xCAFEFD]

"Nothing but a nickle in their pockets and a shirt on their backs"
I see where I'm going wrong. The pants have to go.

[skyland]

This inspired me to become a Grandfather.

[PRIVACYISAZOMBIE]

Yes. Now you are required to win at least 3 deathmatches with other slaves in the pits to win an unpaid internship.

[Andrew..J]

This worked wonders for me. I walked right up to the bosses office, kicked his door open, demanded a job, and I wouldnt take no for an answer! Right then and there he called the police and now I dont need to worry about a job anymore because prison covers all my living expenses!

[GeneralCane]

Plot twist: The guy in the video isn't an actor, he's just an actual old guy doing what he thinks is a legitimate interview.

[redminr]

I don't get it, I tried this to. I walked right into the police station, slammed my hand on the front desk and said "I'm your man." Instead of giving me a job, I'm now serving 25 to life in prison....

[whosaidiwantedahandle]

I like that 40% of the CEOs are specifically named "Mr. McKinely"

[Jramirezi]

Me: Hey are you taking applications?
Manager avoiding eye contact: apply online.

[AbnormalWrench]

My grandpap had way more gumption than these wussies. My grandpap kidnapped the CEO and tortured him for a week until he signed the contract.  He was a good self-starter like that.

[laika]

My parents always told me I’d never get hired unless I shook the managers hand. As a teenager looking for work they would wake me up in the morning with a bunch of resumes and drive me around looking for places to go in and ask for the manager. The first place I got, the manager was there, she saw me handing her my resume and just said ‘Sorry but you should just apply online.’

[なかもりふじ]

Fed chirp on scanner Got blurpt with the hammer

[jorkkeker]

I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire

[jonadams]

After going through the ridiculous online application process so many times this hits hard

[trentb]

My grandfather told me if I wanted a job, I should just walk into the wherever I wanted to work, and start working. Then they would "Have to hire you." Seriously, this isn't even satire, some old people honestly believe this.

[RobertOSullivan]

*Looks for CEO's office 👀*

*Realises CEO is overseas and using your country as a tax haven🤦‍♂️*

[lanatrzczka]

My grandfather told me, "If you want to be a man, you..." and then he fell down the stairs. I'll always remember that. He was a wise man.

[myname-pepe]

My dad actually made me do this for a week straight, he made me get dressed in a nice shit and walk around places demanding a job while he sat in the car "by places I mean like burger king and such" he was absolutely astonished that it never worked

[IndependentTitle]

I tried this, I stormed into Jeff Bezos' office, slammed my fist on the desk and was immediately shot in the back by his security team