Toxic Masculinity - What Makes a Real Man? | Coach Sean Smith

People have some very different ideas and firmly-held beliefs about what makes a real man. In this video, I address the signs of toxic masculinity I’ve seen in society. I deliver a poem I wrote about the messages we give to our kids that help them become who they are.

#thebestmencanbe #toxicmasculinity #gillettead

People have some very different ideas and firmly-held beliefs about what makes a real man. In this video, I address the signs of toxic masculinity I’ve seen in society. I deliver a poem I wrote about the messages we give to our kids that help them become who they are.

Because they want to become the best men they can be, boys try to figure out what it means to be a man. They want to measure up and to conform to the standards set up by society. The problem is, society offers mixed messages about how real men think, feel, and behave.

Inaccurate messages seem to come through loud and clear: “Real men don’t cry. Strong men don’t dwell on personal trauma. Men are meant to fight and win at all costs.” What assumptions do men internalize? What signs of toxic masculinity might a man display in an effort to hold onto his man card?

Toxic masculinity is a controversial concept. Some say talking about the topic is an excuse for male-bashing and men-hating. Others want to challenge masculinity stereotypes and create a new understanding of what makes a real man. They recognize the signs of toxic masculinity and want to eradicate harmful attitudes and actions.

To those on both sides of the issue, I say: Listen to one another. Instead of going on the attack, look for ways to expand your perspective.

To parents, I say: Teach your sons and daughters to carefully sort through society’s messages. Encourage your boys to determine for themselves what makes a real man. When boys become the best men they can be, they help shape a better society.

What is a R.E.A.L. Man?

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[coacht.strong-myrick]

I absolutely love that you are brave enough to just put this out there. So many are feeling the same feelings but unable to express it in "safety". I just shared this with my 14 yr old just so that he knows, hears and sees the other perspective. To be male is to just be human. I also, because of this video, was able to have an in depth discussion with my 27yr old son who has battled with what it is to be a "man". You are definitely blessing others by sharing your experience. Thank you for answering your divine call.

[kgwave]

Holy shit man. One of the most powerful, truthful, and healing messages I've ever heard. Had me in full blown tears. Thank you so much for your healing message, guts, and heart. Something that truly needs to be seen by all men.

[chachshosh]

THIS IS POWERFUL, AND MOVING. EVERY MAN SHOULD HEAR IT, IN EVERY COMMUNITY, ON EVERY LEVEL. It also gives such insight into the internal struggles of being a man for anyone in a relationship (family member, husband, father, lover, child) with a man. This is to a son, but it applies to everyone.

[ElPinguinoAmaru]

This video is amazing. I am currently trying to heal my male wound, in that process shame and doubt have left me questioning how I can even be a man with all the guilt I carry for it. But watching this put me in touch with a more divine perspective on masculinity. Wishing you the best one spreading this message to men everywhere.

[benjaminrizzo]

"yours is the most important voice you will ever hear".
Resoundingly spectacular, I'm going to learn from this as a dad, and for my son, will teach him this, profound lyric - profound it is, it makes sense without trying to figure out, and this line alone can define the difference between taking downputting slurs - letting it affect you negatively, or learning from this line, and believing in your own voice, mind, desire - despite the deterrence others put onto you.

Thank you Mr Sean

[deannayoung]

My heart ached as this message MUST get out to all our young men. I work at a high school and see the young men struggle with this. Some turn to gangs to "show they're a man" but I can be fairly certain they hurt and need to connect and find their place in the universe. Thank you Sean for saying what this world needs right now!

[DOMINICANASOY]

What an amazing human expression you are! Thank you for blessing us with this powerful message today. Grateful my son has a masculine man like my husband to look up to. Grateful there ARE men like you on the planet. Much love to you brother!🙌🏽❤️

[EricGreene]

Bravo. Sharing for sure. Thanks for the inspiration Sean

[mlreynolds]

Fantastic! When all Men and Women function like they were created to be. The entire world will be a better place. The only difference between us is the body parts we were born with. We both have feelings and emotions and should not be ashamed to express them in a way that brings greatness to all

[derickwilliams]

The pain of not feeling enough ... I say - If I want to be truly free, I got to be truly me ... You a truly multi-talented individual dear Sean, Blessed with such amazing talents ... This just blew me away as a powerful and penetrating analysis into the true being of manhood. Thank you for this and sharing and I salute you ... Blessings Derick - South Africa

[CoachMichelleMoore]

what if we actually embraced the conversation this controversy brings? YES! so many of us are terrified of being stripped of everything that we've clung to as true for our whole life. i honor those brave enough to ignite, engage, and hold space for THESE conversations. thank you. i see you. i hear you. i am listening. i love you.

[thGearCmac]

Wow - love how you call us all out - advertisers for wrong message, entertainers for mixed message and fathers for not enough message. well done.

[VenusLoveJones]

You're stronger with all your emotions. Indeed. We don't need more insults, we need more connection. Yes YES! And I LOVE the NEW personal definitions on what it means to perform, provide, and protect. Keep up the good work poet. You're producing powerful and impactful words with passionate delivery.

[samraddatz]

Omg I just seen this and if your not some sort of public speaker you need to be one you would impact so many peoples lives. You are amazing. Keep being you.

[beautifulbeastwithin]

Sean. I just...I can't...I don't...Ok I'm speechless. Thank you so much for this powerful message that I hope my son catches as he grows up.

[mishakhooks]

This is an Excellent piece for young boys to embrace! Thank you sharing!

[HOrziPEtra]

Huuh, that was one of the most intense poetry I've ever heard. I cried, a lot, I cried for my boyfriend, I cried for my son, I cried for all the "once little" boys who were told this things from the first part, all the time, over and over again. Who were deeply hurt, especially the highly sensitive and empathic ones, and although all grown up now, or on the edge of growing up, they are still carying this pain deep down inside, still feeling like they aren't enough, feeling unapriciated, not respected, not needed and not capable.
I wish for all the men and boys, to get to know their worth, to get free of a burden which is passed down through the generations, to cut this pattern of not loving ones self.
And I wish for all the women always to say praise to your husbands, boyfriends, sons, always be by their side, encouraging them, appriciating them, telling them how great they are, and the most importantly, loving them, no matter what 💗

[fs]

It was from your heart and that's what makes it so genuine. Every man should watch this

[kaykirkman]

Such a great message! I hope it gets through to those that need it the most....

[CoachMichelleMoore]

i love this. i love you. THIS is the conversation that will heal the planet. thank you for lighting the match my friend. thank you for calling me forward. thank you for having the courage to show me your raw, real, authentic soul. you've never been better.