How We Destroyed Our Capacity to Love | Alain de Botton | Google Zeitgeist

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[enidasheme]

Compatibility is an achievement of love, not a precondition. Best quote I've heard in a while, and that explains how marriages have been working on for centuries, before life would become so "complicated" as nowadays.

[SPQRxUSAxNUSA]

”They are unlikely to make me suffer in the way I need to suffer”- perfect

[Jemppu]

The voice kept sounding oddly familiar, but only half way through I recognized it. Funny finally having a face to School of Life.

[MrUndersolo]

Most people are just too scared to be alone.
They don’t have soulmates; they have fearmates.

[pecuvsd]

Alain de Botton one of my favourite thinkers of our time. What excellence and clarity.

[vickilynn]

I agree with the wisdom of this but we still need to establish strong boundaries with people so that we don't emotionally bleed out. Accepting someone does not mean you have to accept emotionally unhealthy behaviour

[nawelm]

I dedicate this video to Moe who tried to convince me that love is about loving the same things and having the same interests, and I tried to show him that love is about having different interestand s, sharing them with your partner. That love is about being open to discovering new options, new challenges, and new adventures. Of course, both of us failed despite all the love and passion we shared and still share. My love for you was and is insatiable.

[kardinalempress]

Romanticism: searching for one soul as a mate
New Age Romanticism: accepting every soul as a potential mate

[to-brzm]

"Love is two crazies getting together." Genius

[fatemehbagherian]

I wish the man I love would listen to this, after 9 years together for last few years on and off as he was confused he finally left for the last time and the reason for him was, our outlook is different! He said I am artistic, creative and emotional, and he is logical, steady and introverted! We had beautiful intimacy!!

[rostislavsyrsky]

My key moments: 4:38 (exit romantic assumptions); 4:47 (a decent human being); 4:53 (deeply corrupt); 5:24-41 (all of us are imperfect, therefore we need to go easy on each other, that is what love is); 5:46 (easy to live with?); 5:56 (No one is easy to live with.); 6:43-8:12 (instinct); 8:15 (communication, secrets); 10:37 (education, true love is about education); 11:20 (alarm bell :-) ); 11:54 (those who love us have to criticize us); 12:04 (Plato); 12:52 (true love is seeking the best for the other person); 13:14 (not a feeling, but a skill); 13:30 (learning tips: 2-y-old child); 14:28 (reasons people are difficult: have not eaten, tired, need rest, were treated badly); 14:45 (lovable idiot); 16:29 (choice to be made); 17:23-50 (compatible person, 17:45 - intolerance, compatibility = achievement); 18:04 (when you are ready for love - summary of the talk)

[jaydubya]

I listen to this daily. And it will be a required listening for any serious potential love partner.

[karine.angell]

I love this: No one is normal, only the people we do not yet know.

[Dr-zaam]

If you're muslim i think what you get from this man is what you already have
وجعلنا بينكم مودة ورحمة ❤️

[PoussinNoNeko]

Accepting someone doesn't mean that you have to suffer with a self-absorbed or abusive partner. Love is reciprocal, it should go both ways. Of course, you cannot expect the person to have the same level of generosity/compassion, but you're entitled to ask for some in return. By the way, Alain never said, you should do all the work, on the contrary, he did say we should work together to become better versions of ourselves for each other.

[daryaearth]

As always these advices are perfect! The most conscious teacher!
The problem is when you start to be a patient teacher, treating your partner as a child, you become SO comfortable for other side, that it turns unnecessary for him/her to force itself the same way. Really, you never complain, never judge, always have an argument to explain his or her errors or falts. And so appears the union between
a rider and a horse that carries both the rider and all his "possessions" on its back.
Any effort must be done iqually from both sides.

[M_alienWorld]

Wow!!! I really enjoyed this talk, it concentrates SOOO MANY truths about relationships.... will search for more talks by Alain de Botton...

[beldonhuang]

Indeed, love is not only built on top of sexual/romantic attraction, but also the energy, time and patience that is put into improving and learning about each other and fixing the cracks along the way, which a lot of times is definitely not fun. However, this is exactly where the beauty and meaning of love lies, which is, regardless of our differences, the difficulties we have encountered or will encounter, we still choose to stay with each other and love each other.

[fasihodin]

If you think you love someone or if you think someone loves you, both you and the other person intention is to control the other person, that is if you want to be honest.

[duyenhoangphuong]

We take our cues from what love is from the outside. He is so amazing!