Common Mistakes When Writing Close Third Person

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Choosing your novel's perspective is important—it’s the lens through which your reader will experience the story. As a structural book editor, I am constantly evaluating POV (point of view) because it’s such a vital piece of the novel writing process. Writing close third person POV is natural to many writers, but there are some common mistakes you'll want to avoid. By keeping an eye out for these writing mistakes, you can ensure your novel is effectively written with a clear, cohesive storyline.

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GREAT BOOKS ABOUT WRITING/PUBLISHING:

SOME OF MY FAVORITE NOVELS:

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RELATED VIDEOS:

COMMON MISTAKES WHEN WRITING CLOSE THIRD PERSON POV:
02:09 – Showing other characters’ internal thoughts
04:47 – Naming characters they don’t yet know
06:48 – Writing inner thoughts in third person
08:35 – Forgetting reactions
10:59 – Letting the narrator interject

ABOUT ME:
My name is Alyssa Matesic, and I’m a professional book editor with 7+ years of book publishing and editorial experience. Throughout my career, I’ve held editorial roles across both sides of the publishing industry: Big Five publishing houses and literary agencies. The goal of this channel is to help writers throughout the book writing journey—whether you're working on your manuscript or you're looking for publishing advice.

Feel free to get in touch!

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[AriannaMarie]

I'm writing a novel in third person, close, multi POV. I like the ease of third person for multi POV, both when I read it and write it. It feels like a more cohesive story. This video was very timely. Thanks.

[photographyguru]

close third person is my favorite POV because it is the closest you get to real life and is portrayed like a screenplay. I usually always write in close third person.

[MissyLaMotte]

Good points. I am a bit on the fence with the "letting the narrator interject" example, though. If you have a well established closed third person persepective, it is totally possible to write something like the "shockingly" in your example and it is clear that it IS the POV characters perception of the situation. POV charactes do not need to be written in 1st person to have a voice. You are not limited to "direct" thought in italics and first person. either.

Instead of saying somthing like:
Megan stared at the broken car window. <i>What a mess, </i> she thought. Casey put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
it is totally possible to write:
Megan stared at the broken car window. What a mess. Casey put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

And it is perfectly clear that the "What a mess" is Megan's own view of the situation, not the narrators.

[csbnm]

Head hopping is an easy trap to fall into. I constantly remind myself within a scene whose head I am in.

[ardenskayakatrin]

Mind blown. I have watched a lot of videos on 3rd person limited, but no one has ever told me that you must still write the thoughts in 1st person. And I did the contrary all the time. Thank you so much!

[rorocumgon]

New subscriber here! I have always written short stories for children, but now I think it is time to evolve and write more complex and longer stories. Your videos help because they go straight to the point. Thanks!

[FaithMurri]

I somewhat disagree with the rule of making all thoughts italicized first person. As an audiobook reader primarily, that can occasionally, if appropriate dialogue tags aren't used regularly, render the entire scene incomprehensible. I've dnf'd books because of that before. As long as the author is consistent throughout, first person thoughts aren't strictly necessary. This rule is less of a hard rule and more of a stylistic choice in my opinion.

[bondibox]

I watched several of your POV videos tonight and I thought I had been writing as the ON, but now I see rotating close third person is really what I'm going for. Thanks. This video in particular helped me clean up a lot of things.

[Pmomma]

I, absolutely, loved this video. I'm working on a closed third person. I want each main character's thoughts and feelings to be known because three people are affected, dramatically, in my story. I was able to reveal their thoughts and POV in separate chapters of their own. I think I'll add their names to the chapter headings. Like Chapter Three -Jeff.

I'm so happy I stumbled across your videos last night.

[dgage]

Sweet Jesus, you done fixed all of my troubles in one go. Thank you so much for this. I was feeling pretty reluctant after writing 3 chapters. You have answered all of my questions and now it's off to the races

[johnnatries]

I've always written in first person POV. It just came natural to me and I probably read it most commonly growing up. I think as an adult, though, third person POV is more engaging. I'm tracking to tackle my first story using third person POV and keep accidentally falling into first person POV habits. Great video, it will definitely come in handy!

[RedGallardo]

I see no problem at all with universe perspective, like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Knowing what a whale thought and what a pot of petunia thought and what Ford thought and what Arthur thought is absolutely fine. I remember many books where thoughts of different characters are listed one after another. I mean, both approaches are good: when a reader is an omnipresent beholder and when a reader is a "guardian angel" of one character. After all, in games we roleplay all of our characters and their thoughts are our own. We know both sides and not necessarily the future. We may still be surprised with the outcome. Heck, don't we watch movies, shifting between bad guys and good guys? In most stories we are omnipresent! We see what's bothering each character individually. In operas characters sing their thoughts. In the famous Belle song we hear 3 characters' thoughts - Quasimodo, Frollo and Phoebus. They literally sing in unison, we're in 3 heads at once. Yes, it's done right. But that's more of sloppiness problem, not the fact of getting into multiple heads.

[russellmarvin]

I'm a beginning writer Christian Science Fiction. I'm in the beginning stages of writing and I do appreciate your video to make sure that I stay in the right POV for the story.

[kerri-lynbryant]

Third person deep. Its a hard one. But a challenge I'll gladly take. Your last tip is my gremlin. Thanks for your examples, they helped me understand the narrator problem. This will be my first novel. It's quite a journey. ❤🙏

[jeanninealexander]

Thanks for doing this topic. I grew up reading a lot of omniscient 3rd person but I’m writing in close 3rd now and I struggle with not going all out omniscient in some scenes. I have more of a problem in adding omniscient commentary than head hopping. I can catch head hopping pretty quickly but sometimes I will write a sentence or two before I realize that I’ve head hopped. Recently, I’ve been focusing on looking for the omniscient commentary as I revise and just like your “shockingly” example, I am finding that I’ve done this frequently. Thanks again for the great explanations and examples.

[JuniperXVII]

Thank you for sharing this! I know it's aimed at professional writers, but I am a fanfiction writer, and it was really beneficial! I really appreciate that you included examples of pitfalls and how to fix them. I've watched a few other videos on third person limited and barely got more than a simple definition of what it is. This video has actually helped my writing.

[Thechillpill-frix]

Brilliant because of the examples, very clear and to the point, thanks

[bekkalea]

Thank you for sharing! I was happy when I felt like I considered all points in the sense, that I was doing them the right way, but it never crossed my mind that I should write the inner thoughts of my 3rd person pov as first person, Interesting!! I will try this!

[StatmanRN]

I think it takes some experimentation to determine which POV best suits your story. Some will obviously lend themselves to telling in first person. Very few written in second wouldn't be more effective in first or third. Third is probably the most versatile.
Your points of POV consistency are spot on. Ideally one per scene if not story. However, I find some stories with multiple characters integral to the story can be told in multiple POV with a shifting VP character but clearly delineated by a line break and establishing whose POV we are now in within the first sentence. You can also adjust from a close third to distant third, like the focus of a camera's lens.
Omnisient POV is difficult to pull off but can still work if skillfully done [Lonesome Dove]. Second is probably even more difficult but can put the reader into a unique perspective [Bright Lights Big City]
Of course, when submitting it seems the gatekeepers are actively looking for reasons to reject a work and get on to the next- so you run the risk of violating that readers stylistic prejudices

[paulrobinson]

I loved this video. The examples started off with me saying, yeah, I know these to…er ok let me check my latest manuscript.

Great work Alyssa.